Author Topic: HUBBY chose my inlaws over me...  (Read 24724 times)

princessyuri

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Re: HUBBY chose my inlaws over me...
« Reply #100 on: November 07, 2014, 09:35:12 am »
When I left my in-laws' house, hindi ko inask si hubby if gusto niyang sumama kasi after namin ikasal, narealized ko na agad na hindi niya ako pipiliin or our son over his biological family. I just told him na kapag talagang ready na siya, naghihintay lang kami ng anak niya, kunin niya kami kapag kaya na niya talagang magpamilya. Ang set up namin ngayon, pinupuntahan kami ni hubby kapag weekends, minsan pinupuntahan niya ako sa office... Hindi ko masabi na mas okay ang situation namin sa ngayon kasi laging may worry, pero mas peaceful siya compare before.

glamorosa_09

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Re: HUBBY chose my inlaws over me...
« Reply #101 on: November 07, 2014, 09:57:43 pm »
I will not dare ask my husband to choose between me and my in laws...

first and foremost, what's the point?
second, kung gyera mode ako, he will chose his immediate family 101%

hedonista

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Re: HUBBY chose my inlaws over me...
« Reply #102 on: November 08, 2014, 07:53:15 am »
Hi sis, I took time to read the thread.
I am happy that you are happy and there is I think already an acceptance on your part and you are back talking to each other again at least about the kid.

However, through reading I'd like to highlight a few lines that caught my attention. I do not want to judge and I just want to express opinion.

Quote
Hindi overnyt pero naintindihan ko yung point mo yun nga ang mali ko kaya naging big deal pero naging malaki talaga yung gulo.

Quote
Nainip ako...nagalit ako sakanya...I bombarded him with hurting words...maybe verbally abused him...I told him nahihirapan nako magstay sa sister ko kase marami na sila sa house and nahihirapan na baby namin but he didnt mind.

Gusto ko sana pagnilayan ng husto ang sitwasyon mo pero limitado ang aking oras. Wala rin naman point kung I-analyze natin mga pangyayare bilang tapos na ang lahat. I wish there is also access to you husband's side. Like other sisses, nakukulangan ako sa story. So I can only react based on what you have presented. Root-cause analysis: both may pagkukulang o pagkakamali. Resolution: Nagkulang sa maayos na pakikipag-ugnayan at komunikasyon.
Sis you have a tendency to be verbally/emotionally abusive to him based on quote above. tendency lang naman. tao lang nag snap talaga minsan. that is why I call it tendency. :) don't take it personally ha. objective lang ako.
part ng root cause ay ang reaction mo nung dinala anak mo sa hotel ng wala paalam.

Yan lang for now. Only you can tell what and decide what outcome it will be. You are the only one to sail your own ship.

I still wish for your happiness.
I hope you get back to each other someday.
Wala ako pinapanigan. Para sa akin ang kasal ay para sa dalawang tao na handa mag-mature na magkasama. Nun sinabi mo na sana d sya nag asawa... in one response, di kaya ganoon rin sayo?

Self check, reflect, pray. :)
I'll do the same for you sis. Mahaba na tong thread nun nag reply ako. anyway, I wish you the best and hugs for the kiddo. Sya ang pinaka apektado sa mga kaganapan na ito.
Nothing can come into your experience unless you summon it through persistent thoughts.

PurpleBubbleGum

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Re: HUBBY chose my inlaws over me...
« Reply #103 on: February 08, 2020, 01:58:56 pm »
Interesting and timely topic.

Just last December, after living with my husband and in laws for a year, napuno na talaga ako. Dumating sa point na gusto ko ng umalis. So after Christmas I told my husband na "hindi ito ang buhay na gusto ko". 

Back story, si MIL ang trato sakin "boarder/ renter", only good for paying the bills and utangan ng walang bayaran. Never nagkakamali si MIL. She's always right. Kailangan lagi kang may pasalubong pero lagi nya namang pinipintasan. Feeling ko nung tumira ako sa kanila, naging bobo ako at naging tamad kasi si MIL ang nagluluto para samin at sya rin naglalaba ultimo brief ng asawa ko. Ayaw nya ipagalaw sakin. Kesyo nasanay na daw sya. Ni hindi ko maasikaso ang asawa ko. Pakiramdam ko [textspeak!] tauhan ako sa bahay nila. MIL always competes with me with her son's attention. Kesyo paboritong anak nya kasi. Bawal magbuhat, bawal maghugas ng plato, bawal lahat... she treats my husband na parang baby. MIL is also insecure pag binibilhan ako ng asawa ko, dapat meron din sya. Minamalditahan nya rin ako in a subtle way at pag may bisita ako, nakasimangot. So ending, walang makabisita sakin sa bahay kasi nakaharang si MIL. We also pay all the bills in the house and we pay for food kahit na bihirang bihira ako kumain. Daig pa namin ang umupa. Plastik din si MIL at mahilig magkomento pag nakatalikod ka. Haha! She almost sabotaged our wedding kaya dun ko nalaman ang totoong ugali nya.

So i finally prayed and made up my mind about it and told my husband "this is not the life that I want or imagined. I didn't say I do to everybody in your life, just you." And then sabi ko, "Dun na muna ako kina mama at aalis na ako..." Sabi ko pa, "dalaw dalawin mo na lang ako". You know I was totally fine with that setup kahit na 6 months palang kaming kasal. I realized if hindi ako pipiliin ng asawa ko, bat ko sya panghihinayangan? A guy with no "balls" or "guts" is worse than a loser. So I tested my husband by saying that. I didnt ask him to choose between me or my in laws. I just told him na magsasarili na ako ng bahay at bahala sya magdesisyon sa sarili nya kasi ako kaya kong tumayo sa sarili kong paa.

Surprisingly, my husband manned up and sya mismo nagpaalam na bubukod kami.

 

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