On her latest Paano Ba ’to vlog series, TV host Bianca Gonzalez-Intal discussed dealing and coping with undervaluing oneself. The mom of two invited her “absolute dream guest,” actress Jodi Sta. Maria, to give advice to her followers. A psychology student and herself a mom, Jodi posts messages regularly on social media which a lot of people find validating and inspiring.

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Life naturally has its ups and downs, and a lot of women (and men, too) may sometimes feel this way at home, with the family, within a relationship, and even in the workplace. It often leads to them feeling sad, alone and lonely, exhausted, disappointed, unmotivated, unloved, and more.

“We have to take note na when you don’t feel valued, that does not necessarily mean na you are not valued,” Jodi told Bianca. The actress explained that we have expectations of how others should show their appreciation and when those expectations aren’t met, we feel disappointed and unmotivated. “Nawawalan ka ng gana or parang you feel stuck,” she added.

Just last month, Jodi debuted an advice vlog entitled AskJodi on her YouTube channel, where she answers questions posted by her followers on social media. She admitted that there are times when a person gets too needy, wanting validation and appreciation for them to feel happy and content in themselves. “Laging kailangan ikaw yung pagsilbihan, ang mapansin, yung needs mo yung kailangan i-serve.

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“‘Pag hindi nila nami-meet yun, parang feeling mo ang kulang-kulang mo. You feel so empty,” said the actress. “Yung emptiness, yung feeling ko hindi ako valued and appreciated ng mga tao — if my value will depend on other people, hindi matitigil yung nararamdaman ko.

This also starts a domino effect, she says. You tend to overwork and overthink, and be “pa-bibo” just so other people will appreciate you. “Nakakapagod naman. Mauubos at mauubos ka,” she stressed.

Jodi shared that people have to have a change of perspective and look at it a different way. “Walang [ibang] tao talaga na makaka-fill sa atin. Even the relationships we have, they are only meant to compliment what we have but not to complete or fill us.” 

Watch the video below:

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