Filipino weddings are steeped in tradition, and among the common practices for Pinoy couples are looking to Chinese Astrology or BaZi for guidance with regard to their big day. While some couples readily schedule a consultation for their wedding, not all of them really understand the role of BaZi in their preparations.
To help clarify some basic concepts about BaZi, we talked to Feng Shui Consultant Joey Yap of Joey Yap Research International & Mastery Academy of Chinese Metaphysics. Below are just some points he made on consulting BaZi for your wedding and marriage.
There are no unlucky dates for getting married
"Every year is a good year to get married," shares Joey. This means that no matter what your and your partner's signs are, if you're both ready to commit to marriage, nothing really stop you. The role of BaZi is to help you foresee any issues in your relationship, so that you can come up with practical solutions to improve your connection. "The year just helps, but [your marriage's success] doesn't depend on it a hundred percent. Dates need to be tailor-fit for every couple. We look at their chart to see what the potential problem is. We choose a date to offset problems. We cannot give a generic [auspicious] date until we know what the problem is," Joey explains.
A chart reading may help you become a better person
One motivating factor to consider going to a Feng Shui consultant is that a chart reading may steer you in the direction to become better. With the help of BaZi, you can determine your strengths--which you can acknowledge, and your weaknesses--which you should work on. Joey says, "The idea is that you must become more valuable to the other person. That's how all good relationships work out. The reading will basically say who you are, and will tell you to accept you for who you are. Just bring out the best in you, and be a better version of you, and everything's going to work out right."
Incompatibility may not be the only problem
As mentioned, BaZi can help you determine issues, but these aren't the usual ideas that you're incompatible because of your signs. Joey shares a more practical way to look at things. "One of the problems may be your different goals. What you need now may not be what you need in the future. The woman may be interested in extending her career, and she might have less time for the guy, or the guy might not be optimistic or ambitious [about the future]. Goals change, and you need to know when things will change. [You'll have to ask yourself,] 'Am I going to go with this change? Can I go do this, and still enjoy my life so that I can have a better relationship?' Or [will you] say, 'This is not me?,'" he says.
Love is stronger than any trinket
Some couples buy certain trinkets hoping that it will help them with their wedding and marriage. While Joey says that these may work, your relationship does not depend on these trinkets. "There isn't anything in this world that can command or control love. Love is given freely, and if you're someone who is deserving of it, you will get it. All you have to do is be the best you that you can be. The whole reading is aimed towards you becoming a better person, because as a better person, you obviously will deserve all the love that you get. You can't stop anyone from falling in love with anyone, but you can be the best person and be the only person [that your partner] will want to fall in love with."
Joey shares that consulting Chinese Metaphysics shouldn't be limited to seeking a wedding date. He notes that couples should continually work on their marriage--and that may or may not need Chinese Metaphysics' help. "An everlasting relationship is mutually contributing work, and it is fun. If you know what to do, it's easy. If you can [make the marriage work] without the reading, there are so many ways to do that. The idea is to want to be better [in the relationship]."