When it came to choosing flower girls, I immediately had one little girl in mind: Julia. She is the daughter of one of our senior partners at the law office, and she is an absolute sweetheart. She smiles at everyone, answers very smartly and is just a generally happy child. Having been a professional flower girl back in the day, I know that there are certain qualities in children that work well for flower girl duties. I wasn't the prettiest kid in the lot, but I was the most genial, smart and smiley one. I had a great coach (my Mom) and was easy to coach. Thanks to my mother, who always told me I was pretty, I was very self-assured as a child. I also didn't mind being looked at: a typically a source of trouble for flower girls. I remember my mom telling me that as a flower girl, people would be looking at me as I walked. She also told me that they would be smiling at me because they were happy to see me, and that I should smile back. These clear and simple explanations about what was to happen really made the whole thing easy for me. I think that flower girls walks go awry mostly because they don't know what's going on or are too young to understand an explanation.
Our second flower girl, Bianca, is the sister of one of my youngest brother Beaver's classmates. When I met her, she struck me as a very happy child who smiles a lot. As her mom is a good friend of my mom (and they seem to come from the same school of thought in mothering and coaching), I figured she'd make a great flower girl. As for our third flower girl, JP suggested that we get his niece, Andee. At three, Andee is our youngest flower girl, but she's really smart and headstrong so I don't think we will have any problems.
Thankfully, I had an easier time choosing my maids of honor (Yes, I have two!) and bridesmaids. The choices came naturally and I am pleased to report that their positive responses did too. I asked my brother's girlfriend, Lelet, and my best friend from law school, Cathe, to be my maids of honor. Not having any sisters, I'm fortunate in the sense that got to choose my "sisters" in the form of my closest friends. I deliberately wanted a small entourage that would double as secondary sponsors. I did not see the point of asking a separate group of people to take care of the candle, veil and cord. Involving more people meant more coordination, which I didn't want. I wanted to keep my circle small and tight, hence, just four bridesmaids: Maggie, Hannah, Mika and a fourth one I haven't quite asked, so I won't name her yet. Marex came up with this awesome idea of asking the first three bridesmaids (together with their partners) to take care of the candle, cord, and veil while the fourth pair would take care of removing all the symbolic props! Brilliant!
Choosing a design and a designer for my entourage's dresses was not as automatic, but definitely great fun. I asked around for referrals and checked out various designers' works. I had talked to several other designers before I explored working with Eric Delos Santos. I immediately knew I was talking to the right designer when he first asked me for a brief description of my entourage before he gave design suggestions. I liked his idea of "personalizing" the designs in accordance with my friends' personalities and even with my own aspirations for them. What was supposed to be a two-sentence description of each friend, turned into a full paragraph narration about how we became friends and a detailed account of how I wanted each of them to look on my wedding day. Eric agreed with my color choice for their gowns (blush) and came up with gorgeous sketches for each one. I will be setting a meeting to introduce him to the group very soon.
I am still a bit lost about the design of the flower girls' dresses. I alternate between designs that are very simple to those which are very whimsical. I intend to devote a whole day to get things together and straighten out my pegs. What I am sure of is that my flower girls will be the ones to provide the pop of color for the whole group. Kids can get away with happy and bright pieces anyway. They probably would be less self-conscious wearing them, too. I have asked Eric to come up with a design for me but I am also seriously considering designing their gowns myself.
I am an only daughter who is about to marry a man who has three older brothers. Talk about a serious dearth of females in the family. Still, I am very thankful for being in such a predicament because it allowed me to take my pick from my set of friends--which really is just how it should be. The last thing I want is an obligatory inclusion. My wedding is too special and too personal for such a thing. I can already imagine us getting ready at the hotel, cracking jokes and sharing nervous giggles. I can already see how beautiful we will all look. I know that my wedding day would be made even more special because of their wonderful presence.