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Homer Simpson has the right attitude: a chipper “Good idea, boss!” will pretty much guarantee success in any field.

Well, most of the time. However, it’s also important to know when to say no to your boss if you’re being taken advantage of, says David Stiebel, Ph.D., author of When Talking Makes Things Worse! Resolving Problems When Communication Fails (Whitehall & Nolton, 1997).

But saying no doesn’t mean sticking out your lip and stamping your feet; it means persuading the boss that you’re right—without ever saying she’s wrong. Here, job strategists and big-time bosses identify seven scenarios when saying no could save your sanity, self-respect, and career.

Critical Situation #1: Your boss wants you to do something unethical.
On minor stuff, you’re best off covering her butt. But never falsify data, shred documents, or disclose personal or confidential information. “These are acts of major consequence that could hurt the company and compromise your career,” says Pat Heim, Ph.D., a management consultant and co-author of Hardball for Women: Winning at the Game of Business (Plume, 1993).

How to Say NO Like a Pro: Calmly explain you’re uncomfortable doing what she’s asking you to do. Early in her career, a higher-up pressured Heim to show her the results of a confidential employee-satisfaction survey. After being badgered for weeks, she gave her boss an ultimatum: “You can fire me or you can give up because I’m not showing you the data,” Heim told her boss. “I left her office wondering whether I’d have a job the next day. But I had to do the right thing no matter what the cost.”

Possible Fallout: If you’re lucky, your boss will realize she was out of line and will back off, as Heim’s did. Or, a vindictive manager may fire you for some dinky offense down the line. Protect yourself by keeping a record of the unethical request, to show personnel in case you’re let go on a pretense later.

Critical Situation #2: Your boss imposes insane deadlines.
It’s better to negotiate for more time than to promise the impossible. “Too many employees will say yes to everything, and when the deadline comes, they submit half-assed work,” explains Luisa, creative director of an advertising agency.

How to Say NO Like a Pro: Without whining that the task is an impossibility, simply “describe what the project entails, explain how long a similar job took in the past, review the status of your current assignments, then request an extension,” says Stiebel. If the deadline is non-negotiable, ask for temporary staff support.

Possible Fallout: You could be seen as inefficient, so don’t use this tactic when you’re just rushing home for Prison Break. On the positive side, your supervisor may value candor. Ultimately, you are showing that you’re game for any project, yet realistic about what it will take to complete it. Most employers appreciate that. “I promote employees who can judge how long a job will take,” adds Luisa.

Critical Situation #3: Your boss asks you out.
Flattered or not, you must decline for the sake of your future credibility. “Even if you’re the brightest person in the department, no one will believe you got promoted because you deserved it,” warns Ellen, associate of a law firm.

How to Say NO Like a Pro: Let him down directly but gently, suggests Peller Marion, Ph.D., author of Crisis-Proof Your Career (Berkeley, 1995). Say “I like you, but I never mix business with pleasure, and you’re my boss. If that situation changes, we can re-evaluate things.”

Possible Fallout: He might act like a jerk, but the same could happen if you dated him and had a sticky break-up. So keep a log of your conversations. If your boss morphs into a bully, you’ll have evidence to submit to human resources.

Critical Situation #4: You’re so competent, your boss overloads you.
You want her to rely on you but not to keep you so busy that you’re unable to do the high-profile career-making assignments. Heim warns, “Don’t let your efficiency became a curse.”

How to Say NO Like a Pro: Put your no on hold, and get down to it. After a few days, ask her if she will help you prioritize: “I have three huge projects and 10 little things. Where should I focus first?” Once your boss sees you’re being conscientious, she should assign the scut work to others.

Possible Fallout: There shouldn’t be any as long as you don’t issue a flat-out no.

Critical Situation #5: You’re offered a promotion that puts you on the fast track…to somewhere you don’t want to be.
If you want a position in marketing, moving to human resources won’t be right for you, even if it is a step up. “It can derail your career for a long time,” explains Nancy, vice-president of a public relations agency. Besides, if you accept a job you’re not happy about, your work will probably suffer and so will your career.

How to Say NO Like a Pro: The boss views the move as an opportunity, so tell her you’ll think about it for a few days, then graciously explain why you’re not right for the job and present a win-win alternative: “I really appreciate this offer, but my strengths are researching and developing marketing strategies. I’d put my skills to their bet use if I stayed here and concentrated on building the client base.” By framing it positively, you’ll seem like a team player.

Possible Fallout: “You may not be considered for other opportunities,” Trinidad cautions. In that case, you’re better off applying for the job you want elsewhere.

Critical Situation #6: You are assigned a project that you find normally repugnant.
Listen to your conscience. In the early 1980s, Cheryl Broussard, then a stockbroker, refused to sell risky tax shelters to wealthy widows. The reason? The investors would have died before they’d seen a dividend. “I didn’t go into this business to screw people out of their money,” says Broussard, author of Sister CEO: The Black Woman’s Guide to Starting Your Own Business (Viking, 1997). “To me, the investment was immoral.”

How to Say NO Like a Pro: Ask to be reassigned to a different project. “If you’re going to say no, suggests ways that you can contribute in other areas,” she advises.

Possible Fallout: Defying orders could get you fired, demoted, passed over for promotions, or denied raises. The boss may say, “If you don’t like the product we’re pushing, what are you doing here?” In the end, the risk might be worth the peace of mind. “But if you don’t remain true to your values, you’ll be miserable, and it will affect the quality of your work.”

Critical Situation #7: You can’t handle extra work because of an extenuating personal situation.
“You shouldn’t be afraid to say no to working overtime when you’ve got a sick infant at home or a parent in the hospital,” says Marion. In a crisis, it’s reasonable to establish priorities and adjust your schedule accordingly.

How to Say NO Like a Pro: Tell your boss you hate using your personal life as an excuse, then say something like, “For the next two months, while this crisis is taking place, I can handle my regular workload but not additional assignments that would require me to stay late. I apologize, and I’ll definitely pick up the pace once it has been resolved.” Then make sure you’re super productive and take lunch at your desk.

Possible Fallout: You may miss-out on desirable tasks, but attending to emergency commitments shouldn’t harpoon your career. If you’re still productive even during a family crisis, notes Marion, your boss will want to keep you on her team.