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Office wisdom: Your worst enemy at work will have the same last name as you…and we’re not talking about your sister. The truth is, nobody can sabotage your brilliant career as efficiently as you can. So, to help avoid self-inflicted disaster, we’ve rounded up a group of job counselors and big-time bosses to point out some of the most deadly career-derailing moves…and naturally, ways to avoid them.

Mistake 1: Thinking that any task is beneath you.
No, fetching the boss’s dry cleaning and preparing coffee probably isn’t fine-printed in your job description, but that doesn’t stop the majority of managers from occasionally doling out their personal duties. When Cheryl, a twentysomething radio correspondent and researcher in a TV network was asked to book their director of programming’s pedicure appointments, she was outraged. “I thought, How dare she?” Cheryl recalls. “But then I realized that if I wanted to advance, I had to get on my boss’s good side.” So she used her charm to snag appointments with her boss’s favorite salon. The result? Her reporting assignments quickly doubled and today, she’s a producer for the network’s news programs and very happy with position at the network.

Success strategy: The next time you are asked to do a personal task, simply comply. “The truth is, instead of diminishing yourself in your boss’s eyes, doing some grunt work without a lot of griping will make you a heroine,” says Connie Glaser, coauthor of Swim With the Dolphins: How Women Can Succeed in Corporate America in Their Own Terms (Warner Books, 1995). Of course, if you’re so overloaded with menial tasks that you have not time left for productive, challenging work, ask the boss to help you prioritize your assignments. And if doing her Christmas shopping is a top priority, it’s time to start looking for a new position.

Mistake 2: Treating the office like a singles’ bar.
Occasionally, palling around with officemates is perfectly fine. Wearing provocative clothing and obviously angling for a little cubical couplehood is not. “When you blatantly flaunt your sexuality, bosses and colleagues won’t take you or your work seriously, and it will kill your image as a competent professional,” warns Stephanie Allen, president of a management-consulting firm in the US. “And keep in mind, once established, it’s nearly impossible to rid yourself of a bad reputation.”

Success strategy: Save sexual banter for after hours—and, more safely, with noncolleagues. And stay out of hot water by quickly cooling off any casual coworker flirtations you receive—unless he’s really worth it. If that’s the case and you really don’t want to pass up a potentially good thing, be discreet about it and make sure you’re both mature enough not to continue your bedroom antics in the boardroom or call each other “snookums” in the Monday morning staff meeting.

Mistake 3: Denying your slipups.
Everyone makes mistakes once in a while. It’s the reason white-out, the delete key, and the morning-after pill were invented in the first place. And the impulse to pass the buck or engage in an elaborate cover-up is only the man. But don’t do it. “Even if you never get exposed, you’ll expend too much psychic energy worrying about being discovered,” says career counselor Arlene Hirsch, author of Love Your Work and Success Will Follow (John Wiley & Sons, 1996). “Then you won’t be able to fix the problem and grow from the experience.” What’s more, if a catty colleague tattles on you, you’ll have a dire dilemma on your hands.”

Success strategy: Fess up. “I would much rather my employees be honest about errors they’ve made than lie about them,” says Mary Obana, vice president of marketing. “Despite what they might expect, I don’t hold mistakes against them. We’re all human.” When you do own up to an error, at the same time, offer some ideas to fix it. It will reassure your boss that you don’t crumble under pressure, and it will show off your initiative and strategic thinking.

Mistake 4: Hazing the new boss.
Sure, you miss the fact that your old boss was diligent about doling out due credit, never yelled when you made a minor screw-up, and always shelled out for morning doughnuts. But reminiscing about the past isn’t grounds for giving her replacement the cold shoulder. “New bosses tend to feel like outsiders anyway,” says Robert Bramson, Ph.D., author of What Your Boss Doesn’t Tell You Until It’s Too Late (Simon & Schuster, 1996). “And hazing will only make her feel even more insecure and vulnerable.” In self-defense, your new boss while under siege might morph into a micromagnet, a screamer, or an insufferable taskmaster in an attempt to prove that she’s firmly in charge. Plus, remember that she’s probably assessing all inherited employees right now to decide whether or not to replace them with her own people.

Success strategy: Be on your best behavior. You make your new boss as an ally right now, not an enemy. Arrange a meeting with her so you can explain your responsibilities and learn how you can incorporate them into her goals for the department. Listen to her ideas without comment, even if you think they’re totally lame; like anyone else, she needs time to learn the ropes and settle in. And don’t utter so much as one syllable about the dearly departed.

Mistake 5: Dragging personal problems into work.
Continually brooding about broken hearts or moaning about menstrual cramps won’t earn you anyone’s sympathy and, in fact, will only make you appear immature and unprofessional. “I once fired a secretary who put her personal problems before her job,” says a top honcho of a movie production outfit. “Every week it was a different crisis—the rent, the dog, her mother. I felt like she was too fragile to handle any of the work I needed her to do. And honestly, after a while, nobody cares anymore.”

Success strategy: Go ahead and gripe—it will free you from your anger, frustration, and depression that can make focusing on your work almost impossible. Just don’t ever do it on company time—or email (it’s not as secure as you might have assumed and especially from your boss). Limit lament sessions to lunch hours with friends outside the office. And don’t make personal calls that can’t be overheard and later held against you.

Mistake 6: Copping an attitude.
This means cutting out those exasperated eye-rolls, uncrossing your arms, and not responding with “Yeah, right. That idea didn’t work last time, so what makes you think it’ll work now?” when a competitive colleague makes an insipid suggestion. “Bad attitudes are contagious,” explains Claser, “and employers are hyperaware of that. So if you’re displaying defensive body language or making snide remarks, your boss will quickly mark you as the office pessimist, poisoning the atmosphere.”

Success strategy: Stuff the sarcasm. And no matter how idiotic you think someone’s idea is, keep our facial expressions and body language completely neutral. “A bad disposition draws attention to a problem but it doesn’t do anything to solve it,” says Melanie, a newspaper editor. “If you really think your boss or workmate is on the wrong track, tactfully point it out and show them precisely why your position is more logical or profitable.”

Mistake 7: Resenting the boss’s perks
So the boss has an office the size of one of the Hundred Islands, gets carted around in a private car, and gets to buy Escada suits. Well, she is the boss. And if you’re not careful, airing any sort of resentment will poison both your professional and your relationship with her.

Success strategy: Re-jig your jealousy. The simple fact is, because she has the most responsibility and the most liability, she gets the big bucks and the plump perks. “Stop looking at her bonuses as preferential treatment and just regard them as part of her salary,” suggests Bramson. In other words, paying for posh restaurants and trendy leather shoes is just a piece of her negotiated package, the way a health insurance might be for you. “And if that doesn’t work,” offers Bramson. “Think of it this way: If the boss didn’t get such great perks, what would you have to aspire to?”

Mistake 8: Boss bashing during a job interview.
So your boss is a beast, deserving of a swift kick in the ego. Big surprise. But if you try to even the score by badmouthing your present employer to a potential new boss, you’re the one who ultimately loses out. “Whining about office issues makes you look like a hapless victim, not a competent professional who can handle challenges,” advises Hirsch. “And if the interviewer knows your current boss, you can pretty much kiss both jobs goodbye.”

Success strategy: Curb your criticism. Bosses are like movie stars. “Even if they aren’t personal friends, they still identify with each other,” explains Hirsch. “Which means that no matter how bad you’ve been wronged, chances are that they’re not going to take your side. In job interviews, couch gripes in neutral terms. Say, for example, “I’m longing for a position that will provide me with a bit more autonomy” instead of “My manager looked over my shoulder so much, I was beginning to feel like I had a permanent shadow.” And when socializing—even if it’s at your parents’ 25th wedding anniversary—refrain from slandering your superiors. You never knew who grew up in the same small town together or who sends their toddler to the same pre-school.