femalenetwork.com

When it comes to pursuing your career goals, are you a forward-thinking Frannie, or a Virtuous Virginia? Do you exude confidence and demand respect, or are you afraid of appearing pushy and unlady-like? In this fast-changing and modern world, don’t get stuck in the medieval ages. Before you trade your ambitions for values that pre-date the Spanish occupation, think carefully if what you’re giving up your career for is a worthwhile cause, or older-than-Magellan morals.

Myth#1: We are a family of doctors, ergo, I should be a doctor.
Liza feels sorry for herself because she teaches at a day-care center. Her family wanted her to become a doctor like her mom and siblings, but Liza couldn’t handle the rigorous demands of medical school so she did the next best thing and took an education course to teach preschoolers. She loves kids and delights in their unabashed wondering for everything. What is actually making her feel bad is not that she doesn’t like what’s she’s doing, but that her family is unhappy with her for not following in the family tradition of becoming a doctor. If Liza stopped feeling guilty about defying her family’s wishes, she could finally be more enthusiastic about her chosen profession and enjoy her success.

Poet Alicia Ynez, author of books like The Poet is In and Alice in the Poet’s Heartland, also comes from a family of medical practitioners. While she is very proud of their achievements, she also enjoys leading her own life of writing poetry. Her company, Aslepin Publishing, helps local artists, writers, and poets by sending them to literary events abroad. This pride in her personal achievements helps Alicia maintain a positive attitude and has made her happier than she would ever have been as a doctor.

A career is a big chunk of your life, so don’t let anyone decide what direction it will take.

Myth#2: It has never been done before.
Famous last words. Microsoft founder Bill Gates once declared that the Internet was just going to be a fad. Now, Gates is scrambling for a piece of the very profitable electronic business. Don’t think that just because no one has done it before, you can’t be a trailblazer in your field.

Diana Cua, M.D., a U.S. trained breast surgeon, is one of the few doctors in her specialty, but that did not prevent this determined lady physician from pursuing the field she was interested in. “I’ve never been one to see the glass as half empty,” she told the Sunday Inquirer Magazine. “I wanted to become a breast surgeon when people thought that I wouldn’t finish med school. People used to tell me, ‘Dream on, Diana.’ So I dared dream on. I did dare to touch the stars and, every so often, I do get to touch the stars.”

Myth#3: The man should be in the driver’s seat.
This, and any of its many variations—he should earn more than I do, he should make all the decisions, he should be more successful—should be scrapped from the female mindset. This manner of thinking belongs to the pre-Vatican II days when women were not accorded equal treatment and were even considered to be of a lower status than men.

Deciding the pace you want your career to take is totally up to you, but don’t slow it down when you’re raring to go just because you’re afraid you’ll be more successful than your boyfriend or husband. It’s one thing to want to spend more time with your family. It’s a completely different thing to forego a promising career just because you want the man in your life to hog the career limelight—it’s a copout and puts the blame or fame squarely on the shoulders of the man, so where does that leave you?

Cora, 30, gave up her highly successful career to allow her husband to take charge of the financial needs of their family. However, without the additional income she brings in as a working girl, she is deathly worried about paying for the education of her four children, all of whom are enrolled in exclusive private schools. Cora, who used to wake up looking forward to tackling the challenging tasks at work, now dreads the days that she will be spending at home with just the household help for company.”

Myth#4: The only way I’ll get promoted is if my boss retires or passes away.
That is wishing evil of another person and is a counter-productive attitude. If you subscribe to this thinking, you are setting yourself up for failure because you will resort to playing at office politics instead of applying yourself to the job and improving your interpersonal skills.

Don Gabor, author of Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations (Fireside, 1994), says if you want a promotion, then show your boss that you’re capable of taking on the added responsibility. “Suggest more duties that may lead you to the next position along your career track. Then, when a position becomes available, you have already demonstrated to your boss that you can perform the new tasks and that you are a self-motivated employees,” he says.

Christopher, 24, who works for a U.S.-based internet start-up, never dreamed that the project he was assigned to work on would turn into a whole new position and eventually earn him a promotion. At first, he thought his task was merely a temporary one: He had to compile a list of frequently asked questions for their site and input this into a database that could easily be retrieved and understood by their customers. “Later, I found out that there was a posting for a knowledge engineer who would be in charge of the project I was already working on.” Even if there were several candidates that applied for the position, Chris had already demonstrated that he could handle the demands of the job and snagged the post.

Remember that when you are evaluated for a promotion, what counts is your overall performance. Ascendancy in a corporation becomes possible when a position is vacated, but a hike in salary or position could also be given as a reward for exemplary performance. You will be judged against the standards and requirements of the job, and not the number of aspirants you ably demolished to get there.

Myth#5: I don’t have the resources.
Translation: “I don’t have the courage to even try.” Roselle Ambubuyog is just like any regular college student with one exception—she is totally blind. Despite her physical limitation, Roselle was her high school’s valedictorian and is now reaping scholastic awards at the Ateneo de Manila University where she is pursuing a degree in mathematics. She did not use her blindness as an excuse not to work hard.

Just because you weren’t a summa cum laude, or editor of the school paper, doesn’t mean you’re pre-destined to stay at the bottom of the corporate food chain. If you know your shortcomings but don’t do anything about them, then the only person you have to blame for your failure is yourself. You may not realize it, but there are plenty of programs and seminars being offered that are aimed at increasing your work productivity or teaching you a valuable skill. Many companies offer these same programs to their employees free of charge—or you can mention one to your boss and, if it’s relevant to the needs of your department, she might be willing to recommend that the company sponsor you.

Simply turning to your co-employees and recognizing their individual strengths is another way of acquiring additional know-how. Approach them and ask for help in writing a report, or adding up some figures, and chances are they will be more than willing to help and you’ll learn a lot from these experts.

Myth#6: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
When they first started, the members of the now-popular trio The APO Hiking Society were musical outcasts. While they were still college students, they would sing at school concerts where they were criticized for singing out of tune. In fact, their songs were simply different from the popular melodies at that time. At the risk of being disliked by listeners, The APO persisted in performing their own sound, which later caught on and propelled them to musical stardom.

Even if your office seems like a well-oiled machine, you can always find something you can improve on or do better. Have the initiative to spot these hidden opportunities and don’t wait for someone to ask before you take action. A lot of bosses are impressed if you are the first to suggest a good idea. “Creativity and innovation continue to be critical management concerns,” notes Fred E. Jandt in his book, Straight Answers to People Problems (Irwin, 1994).

When Catherine, 24, noticed that the company’s collection of magazine subscriptions and books was growing, she took it upon herself to catalogue the publications on the computer. All you had to do was type in the title of a book or magazine to find out if it was available. Later, Catherine was assigned to set up a small library and reading area so that the employees could enjoy and benefit from the company’s materials. Her simple task, which turned into an invaluable tool for the company, earned Catherine praises from her employer.

Out With the Old
You can be loyal and family-oriented without falling into the trap of giving up what you really want for priorities that are already passé. You can’t have everything but at least you can decide how much you are willing to give up, and what goals you want to pursue.

It might seem easier to stick to what’s been tried and tested, but if you want to be a go-getting career girl, start changing your tune because playing safe could mean being left behind.