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Research shows that having supportive relationships is good for our emotional, mental, and physical health. But turn things around and having difficult and ongoing negative relationships is just as bad to our health.

Trying personalities are everywhere; they may be in your home, at the office, at the gym. They may be domineering people, self-centered, or arrogant - or there’s just something about them that rubs you the wrong way. Think of your diva friend whose needs can never be met or the boss who constantly criticizes your work.

You’ve got some tricky choices to make. Your intuition tells you to stick up for yourself, but you want to avoid unnecessary conflict. Would you fight, flee, or freeze?

Some people freeze when confronted with criticism telling themselves, “I must not be criticized further so I’ll just keep my mouth shut.” Temporary paralysis in response to a physical threat may once have kept you alive; but freezing in the face of a verbal onslaught won't help you make your case. Sure, you need to stand up for yourself, but you can do so without creating further damage to the relationship.

“If you don’t look at your own actions, you end up making the other person 100 percent of the problem,” explains Susan Fee, author of Dealing with Difficult People: 83 Ways to Stay Calm, Composed, and in Control. That also puts the solution squarely in her hands - and out of yours.

As a general rule, you can’t change a person. You will only get into a power struggle, cause defensiveness, invite criticism, or make things worse. It also makes you a more difficult person to deal with.

Here are five simple actions if you’re in the same situation:

1. Try to look for the positive aspects of the person, especially when dealing with a family member, and focus on them. Often, all these difficult people want is to be loved, to feel wanted, to be a part of the team.

2. When you see someone go into attack mode, recognize that it is useless to argue with him or her. Listening and asking questions demonstrates a willingness to understand and in turn, you build trust with the person.

3. These people are human beings like you. They hurt just like you do. Understand that it’s their behavior that’s the problem, not the person itself. So when you plan to have a dialogue, “Call out the behavior, not the person” says Fee. “You don’t say to your child, ‘You’re bad!’ You say, ‘It’s bad that you drew on the wall.’”

Make a difference to that person - you could be changing their life in a way you would never have thought possible. Have some fun even. Share a laugh, maybe?

4. Keep your own sense of self-confidence and don't allow yourself to be verbally abused. Resisting the trap set by difficult people is easier if you're aware of your vulnerability of getting hurt and then feeling angry.

5. Know when it’s time to distance yourself, and do so. If the other person can’t be around you without antagonizing you, minimizing contact may be key. If they’re continually abusive, it's best to cut ties.

Are you looking for a world-class learning venue for you (if you’re a working student) or your teens? Cosmopoint International Institute of Technology (CIIT), a part of the Cosmopoint Education Group (CEG) based in Malaysia, is one school you would want to consider.

 

Opening in June 2008, CIIT focuses on core areas in the fields of IT, Multimedia and Design, currently offers a much sought-after range of skill-based certificates and career-oriented diplomas that are recognized and accepted by leading organizations and Universities globally.

Its tagline, “Empowering you for the 21st Century,” CIIT envisions to provide education that contributes to the development of their students’ practical skills through real-world learning. That is to say, providing relevant, industry-based curriculum and training modules.

Must we say they’re promoting paper-less education? Because they’d want to offer up-to-date curriculum, their team of researchers are ensuring that the curriculum is in-sync with what the IT industry requires; therefore, textbooks are provided digitally.

 

While you’re on the lookout for a high-quality school, don’t just trust the brand name. You’d want to look for a relevant learning venue, with world-class quality learning facilities at affordable costs.

Imagine this: You’ve been in your job for five years and you’re satisfied knowing it helps you get by. But the daily grind has become so monotonous it leaves you uninspired — if not bored to tears.