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Publication Date: August 2005
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It's happened to almost everyone—a breakup that's seemingly impossible to recover from. Whether you've been together two months or ten years too long, there's a post-relationship limbo you need to survive in order to get on with your life.
Every girl has a story to tell, but everyone agrees—sure, it's hard to do, but it's definitely not impossible to overcome.
Jenny Manuel gathers the true and outstanding tales of women conquering breakups—from the mild to the truly horrific.
You're heartbroken, now what?
It's happened to almost everyone - a breakup that's seemingly impossible to recover from. Whether you've been together two months or ten years too long, there's a post-relationship limbo you need to survive in order to get on with your life:
* The constant questioning, "Why? Why? Why?"
* The every hour, on-the-hour sobfest until your tear ducts run dry
* The urge to call him at three in the morning
* The urge to call him and say nothing (you just want to hear his voice...sob!)
* The urge to call him names
* The zero-energy days (or weeks, or months) when you just want to stay in bed and listen to senti music
* The Depression Diet where you can't eat anything (or, worse, all you can eat is ice cream)
* The absolute loss of self-esteem when you begin to think that he stopped loving you/cheated on you/changed his mind about being with you because you put on some weight/acquired wrinkles/lost your sense of humor/ are ugly.
Every girl has a story to tell, but everyone agrees - sure, it's hard to do, but it's definitely not impossible to overcome.
And it all begins with knowing you can have fun again.
Jenny Manuel gathers the true and outstanding tales of women conquering breakups - from the mild to the truly horrific.
Hear the stories, learn the lessons.
And tell all your girl friends about it.
Chapter 1: ED
(Or why you need a friend with the patience of a saint.)
The days and weeks immediately following a difficult breakup are always the most difficult and the most critical.
After the shock of what has just happened (your life just ending… at least you feeling that way), denial and gut-wrenching grief tend to follow hot on shock's heels. Every waking moment will be filled with thoughts of the ex - how to get back with him, how to say sorry to him, how to kill him.
Your thinking will often be muddled and unclear because denial will confuse you with ridiculous ideas. Ideas such as, 'He didn't mean it when he said he was leaving - that moving truck that took every item he owns is really just parked down the street waiting for his signal to bring them all back.' Or, 'He and that woman weren't really having sex, they were just taking a nap together - naked.'
There will also be an alarming amount of tear-shedding at this point. Tears like you have never known. The type of crying that will quite literally run dry - at least until your next big glass of water after which you immediately start crying again.
In short, you will be a wreck, just as I was. And needless to say you're not going to be the most fun person to be around. In fact, during those early periods post-disaster you're going to be about as much fun to be around as a stick.
An ugly stick.
An ugly stick with thorns on it.
Some friends will believe in the Pull Yourself Together/Tough Love approach. You will need to stay away from these friends. I am not suggesting that these people are not being good friends to you; on the contrary, they probably genuinely believe that tough love is what you need. But tough love is not what you need at the moment - you're already feeling exhausted, beat up, and emotionally mangled because of the breakup.
Admit that the relationship is over. Say it aloud to yourself in the mirror, or write about it in detail to a close friend or a family member who knew you and your ex as a couple. Telling someone else, if you haven't already, is a sign that you admit that the breakup is real.
Cry, shout, kick the walls, hit a punching bag - do whatever you need to do to release all the negative energy smoldering inside you.
Think about whom among your friend and family members are going to be the most gentle and supportive of you during this period and then ask them for their help. Be honest about how you feel - talk to them and don't be afraid to cry. It's okay to be a wreck - for a while.