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You’re strolling through the mall, walking into a meeting, maybe you’re even on a date. You’ve got on your goddess gear, your lipstick brings out your tan, and you look great. More important, you feel great.

Then you see HER. A dewy-fresh teenager who makes you feel like a painted prune, or a sophisticated, self-assured babe who makes you feel young and awkward. She’s in the same room as you, but she’s from a different planet. The very air around her seems to vibrate with the best possibilities, and you’re prosaic and mundane.

Whatever it is, she’s perfect. You don’t even know her, but you hate her.

Beauty envy is the not-so-secret underside to our cult of appearances. Don’t even pretend you haven’t felt it. Even in this supposedly enlightened age, the sight of a gorgeous girl can turn smart, funny women who should know better into a pathetic bunch of insecure wrecks. Like any sick feeling, beauty envy has clearly defined symptoms: a clutching burn in the pit of your stomach; in your ears, the sound of your crashing self-esteem; in your mind, the panicked rush to deny that you’re feeling it. In her trash classic novel Princess Daisy, Judith Krantz described is as “sh_t straight through the heart.”

Here’s the deal: we hate gorgeous girls, because they make us feel like dirt.

Of course this is dumb, not to mention wrong, and we know it. In the first place, it has very little to do with the woman herself—the subject of our envy. What we feel about her has nothing to do with who she is, what she thinks and feels but everything to do with our own feelings and our own projections. Besides, we hate it when men make snap judgments about women because of the way they look—how dare we do the same? Finally, don’t we prove, every single day, that being a woman is infinitely, gloriously more than what meets the eye? Don’t we know by now the very essence of life is what we bring to it, our work, our contributions, how we are with the people we love? It’s already dawned upon us, hasn’t it, that apart from a body, we all have a mind, heart, and spirit to offer the world, and all of these buoy our bodies, infusing the energy that can, in fact, make us more beautiful that we are?

We shouldn’t be so quick to forget this. In fact, we should know this by heart and most days, we believe it. Why do we backslide so easily?

The Ugly Truth of Beauty
Despite what we’ve learned, it’s somehow too easy to fall into the traps that society has set for us. For example, we immediately assume Beauty is dumb, “just a pretty face.” It’s easier to think that a gorgeous girl is self-involved, shallow, or boy-crazy. If she’s successful, we figure she charmed her way into it, as though it were inconceivable that she just might have a brain like the rest of us. Hopefully, we know how irrational that is, but we do it anyway.

And don’t think she doesn’t know it. Supermodel Christy Turlington was once quoted in Esquire magazine: “I’m constantly being told, ‘Haha, she’s going to school. Maybe she’ll learn to spell.’ There are negative associations…(including) assumptions that you are just completely worthless.”

Says a retired commercial and print model, now the manager of her own business, “I would be introduced to other women and just feel the raise eyebrows: Oh a model. As in, Oh, an airhead.”

On the other hand, there is another no less ugly side to the issue. We women are also guilty of using our looks basically to one-up other women and perhaps give ourselves an ego-boost. It’s unfair particularly when you realize that your beauty or the lack of it was basically handed down to you from a particular gene pool, something you had nothing to do with. When a good-looking guy is walking through the mall with his so-so looking girlfriend, we wonder what he sees in her…as though her looks are all that matters. And to cover up our own weaknesses, how many times have we said to ourselves in a stupid and irrational manner, “Well, at least, I’m prettier, thinner, more fit…than so-and-so.” What’s worse is we actually feel better doing it. When a women succeeds in making the most of her appearance, it’s only other women, and not men, who will undermine her with the utmost cruelty, saying: “She’s special, really” or even, “Mas maganda pa ako diyan eh.”

It must spring from some primal instinct in us, this ugly drive to quell or undermine the beauty of others because somehow it threatens us. For all the flak a girl can get from testosterone, when it comes to narrow vision or downright prejudice, women can be even more hostile, petty and vicious than men, and sadly, very often, the are.

Nothing can enhance a woman’s beauty like beautiful brows. Well-defined, well-groomed brows flatter the face—they open up, enlarge and brighten the eyes so that you’ll need less makeup. Says Propaganda makeup artist Marlon Rivera, “Nice brows make you look polished and organize the features on your face instantly. People look at your eyes first, so looking at unkempt brows is like looking at a messy painting.”

Tweeze Easy
Tweezing gives you the best control over the shape compared to waxing and threading. Shaving causes faster hair re-growth and may irritate the skin on that area. Tweezing can hurt at first, but you’ll get immune to the pain in time (numb the are with ice, warm water or toothache drops).

1. Determine the shape you want, but follow the direction of the brow’s natural arch. The higher the arch, the more sophisticated you’ll look. As a guideline, the brow should arch 3/4 of the way outwards and upwards and taper down subtly. The tail of your brows should extend slightly past the outer corners of your eyes. (Imagine a diagonal line from the edge of each nostril extending to the outer corner of each eye. The point where this line intersects the brow is where it should end.) Also, the thinner the brows, the older you’ll look. Don’t overdo it! Look in magazines for face shapes similar to yours and study the brows.

2. With concealer or white pencil, mark the hairs you want to remove. Start plucking hairs above the bridge of your nose in between your brows. Then, pluck hairs that stray below the brow’s natural direction. Asian brows, says Marlon, tend to grow downward at the ends. Instead of overplucking in that area, he says, you can just snip off long brow hairs with tiny scissors. In fact, it’s a good idea to try trimming the hairs before tweezing to see their natural shape.

3. Maintenance is a must. Keep brows neat by plucking weekly. It becomes easier once you establish the right shape. Still wary of attacking virgin brows yourself? Have them tweezed initially by a professional and just maintain their upkeep.

THE BASIC TECHNIQUE

Step One: The Lash Curler
Looks a bit torturous, but these devices do wonders. We like the new plastic kind, but experts insist on metal (and swear by La Crosse, Maybelline and Shiseido). See how powerful this tool is—do a quick test-curl on one side, then compare eyes. Some tips:

1. Blow-dry a metal lash curler for 2 minutes to let the heat “set” your lashes for longer-lasting curl.

2. Curl just the very tips of your lashes first, then curl again at their midpoints to get super-awake, Snuffle-ufagus lashes!

Step Two: Mascara
Choose a formula that meets your goals (lengthening, thickening, general defining), then apply using these guidelines:

To make lashes look longer: Coat tips a few times, then start at base of lashes and apply with long, smooth upward strokes.

To make lashes look fuller: Place wand close to lash line, then wiggle brush upward.

To get at hard-to-reach lashes: Hold wand vertically. Best to use tapered brush (not a flat-topped one).

Step Three: Unclumping
Use a toothbrush or metal lash comb to separate problem spots gently.

LASH FLASH!
The same ingredients used to condition and strengthen hair—panthenol; vitamins A, C, E; Keratin—are being added to mascara these days. Also new: Anti-stiffening formulas—products do their thing while keeping lashes soft and sexy.

TAKING IT OFF
Too much tugging at eye makeup can damage delicate eye-are skin, cause crow’s feet. Saturate cotton pads with remover, then hold over closed eye for 20 seconds (let products dissolve), wipe. Use remover designed for waterproof mascara if appropriate.

PRO TIPS
1. Lift brow gently with ring finger while applying mascara. This makes it easier to get wand into base.

2. Wipe wand across a tissue to get rid of excess before applying.

3. Leave bottom lashes bare to prevent a “raccoon look” at the end of the day—an uplifting effect on the whole eye.

4. Apply extra coats to lashes at outer, upper corners to create a flirty look.

WHICH COLORS TO CHOOSE?
Black should be your staple, but when you’re feeling funky, try brown or gray for a not-so-drastic change. Regarding colored mascaras: They’ve changed quite a bit in the last few years. Most are now muted with black, so they don’t look tacky. Wearing them is a fun change, and some colors (purple, blue) actually makes eyes look brighter, whites whiter.