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What to do after a break up

Jun 29, 2008 by Dr. Majoe Juan Badiola

Ending a relationship is one of the most painful eventuality in one’s lifetime. A broken heart is life changing. Others move on, but if the heart is too wounded, it will no longer be the same.
 
First issue, if you end a relationship, it must be ended properly and with closure. If you think there is still love fight for it, but if there’s no more reason to stay then let it go. Exit a relationship gracefully, with dignity. Do not think that you are a loser when everything ends.

 

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Sometimes your ex will call you and ask how you are. And because you miss him, after all the conversation you will end up having sex with him. You have to be careful when this happens. Other guys invite you to bed because they really miss you. Others, they just want to know if they still have total control over you. Some will have “revenge sex,” but many want a “kiss and make-up” sex. Caution! Revenge and kiss and make-up sex are the most common avenue for unplanned pregnancy.
 
Here are some tips:
 
1. Take an emotional holiday. Acknowledge all emotions. Cry hard. If alcohol helps, then fine drink with your friends. Tell the story over and over again. You have the license to be neurotic. Express your feelings. It will not only make you feel better but it will also detoxify you. After drinking, crying and being sad, you might want to feel and be in touch with your inner self. Nurture yourself with positive energies. This is the perfect time to collect yourself, meditate and plan your life ahead.

 

2. Don’t start a new relationship. After a break up, surely you will feel alone. This feeling will be new to you and you will miss him big time. Indeed you will need company, but definitely not another relationship. It will be unfair for the other person and you might break his heart too. It will be unfair to your heart as well because you are yearning for someone else.

‘You have the license to be neurotic after a breakup’


3. Don’t make any major life decisions. This is a big no-no. Your judgment will not be at its best when the heart is sad.
 
4. Don’t use sex to ask for love. I’ve seen a lot of people who turned nasty after a very bad break up. They started having sex with anybody, hoping that they will be loved once they give in to sex. Believe me, it will just make things worse. Instead of asking for love, create love within you; conceptualize it, until you love yourself fully again. Sublimate your sexual energies into something productive like doing better in school or acing your work.
 
It is easier said than done. God knows it is really painful to let go of your one true love. But you need to move on. It does not matter if you’re in transit for two weeks or two years, but what’s more important is your faith in love remains, and when you love again, it might be your one greatest love. Remember always believe in yourself and in love. Losing one love is not equal to losing one’s self-worth. Be grateful, for your real greatest love is still waiting for you.

Image by Free-StockPhotos.com

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