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What is a sex toy? The simplest definition is: something that increases the pleasure involved in a sexual encounter. An eggplant can be a sex toy. So can a tablespoon of salad oil, a phone receiver, or a jet of water from a detachable showerhead.

But to most people, sex toys are those pricey objects advertised in the back pages of Penthouse and Hustler, those things that, by their shape and color alone, are enough to make the breath quicken and the cheeks flush. Filipinos think of sex toys as some weird invention of Western libertines. Few Pinays can talk about them without lowering their voices, and most girls would rather change a diaper than touch a dildo, even if—or especially if—it’s in a best friend’s underwear drawer.

What most good little Pinays don’t realize is that our own ingenious culture came up with its own sex devices years ago. Pinoys have never been able to afford the “real” stuff, and retailers have always been too prudish to sell the darned things (though given the amount of erotic obsession in this country, they probably would have made a killing in the trade). As a result, when it comes to augmenting sexual pleasure, Filipinos have been most creative, and discreet.

 

A Hundred Lashes
A pedestrian strolling down Escolta street will find herself passing a number of sidewalk vendors who don’t look too different from regular peddlers in the Sta. Cruz district, one of the oldest in Manila. But looking closely at the traditional wooden cases that display their wares, one realizes these are not scissors or kerosene lamp pins, but strange, circular-shaped items of rubber and hair.

The hair things are called matang kambing, literally, goat’s eyelashes, because that’s what they are. They are the upper and lower lids, removed in one piece, from the heads of these animals shortly after slaughter, which are then subjected to a preservation process. Some other cultures call them French ticklers: they find under the glans (head) of the penis and are supposed to give a woman long and thrilling orgasms as they stimulate the vaginal entrance and walls.

“Soak it for some time in water,” the old vendor will tell you, “so that it becomes pliant, before putting it onto the penis. When you’re done, you can rinse it and dry it, but always soak it before each use.” Matang kambing are the humblest objects in a typical collection, going for P50 a piece. The little parcel, backed with cardboard from a cigarette case and protected with plastic, is marked “small,” “medium,” or “large” as the case may be, but these seem to cater more to the user’s ego than to some merchandising standard, for often the “small” and the “large” are of similar size.

Some of the circular objects will be made of flexible plastic, with protrusions all around like the rays of the sun: these are the street version of those glamorous cock rings advertised in porno glossies. They may be labeled “Rambutan,” “Sunriser,” and “Warrior”—these evocative words refer to the configuration of the rays, which really makes no difference. Their object is to keep a man erect longer by restricting the amount of blood that flows out of a penis (the veins, which carry blood away, being closer to the skin surface than the arteries, which pump blood in). The user is supposed to put them around his member, at the base or close to it, and, like matang kambing, they also heighten female enjoyment. Costing around P175, they are more durable than matang kambing (or so the vendor will tell you; since they are truly elastic, he will add, there’s no need to wait while they soak).

 

Men of Small Balls
Some men actually carry their toys around in their penises: little balls (boletas) are surgically inserted and sewn into the loose skin on the underside of his member, to increase female sexual pleasure. Another way of adding texture to a penis is to incise the skin and fold or roll it into a pattern—when the wounds heal, even the elevated scar tissue augments the desired effect.

Somehow, boletas carry their own stigma: they are often associated with seamen or overseas workers who, wealthy with new dollars and separated from their good women for years at a time, indulge in short-term affairs with a variety of females. They’re also associated with a certain type of woman. “They are not something you would use on your wife,” says 40-year-old Toto, who has worked as a driver in an Arab state. “It would not be right; those are for putas only.”

Toto says a friend of his had his boletas taken out when he came back from the Middle East. He didn’t want to offend his wife.

This has something to do with the misconception that only loose women enjoy sex, and if a man is too good in that department to his wife, he might send her on the road to ruin.

Superproxies
Vendors in Escolta are rather shy about making a pitch for vibrators, as though their sale were illegal (it’s not). A shopper has to ask first. Out of consideration for the sensibilities of passersby, these way-too-obvious sex toys are not displayed on the sidewalk, but must be ordered, the shopper coming back for them in a week’s time. On the street, a coil-type vibrator with a studded, rotating head can go as low as P1,000, but it takes a certain amount of guts to haggle with an aging vendor and slip him the down payment, in full view of the world.

Buying a vibrator at a novelty store might be a less traumatic experience: you can always pretend it’s for a friend, and the sales girl will neither ask nor fix you with a knowing glance. Vibrators are basically the same wherever they’re sold: 1) the plastic shaft-type, penis-shaped, and battery-powered, 2) the wand-type, plugged into a wall socket, and fitted with a variety of heads (these are often sold as “personal massagers” and often come with the coy warning “not for genital stimulation”) and 3) the handle or coil type, which resembles a small hairdryer, with a small shaft that can be fitted with a variety of soft plastic or latex heads, and has a separate, two AA-battery power source, connected by a cord. The third type is pricey: The machine itself costs around P1,500, a single latex head (glove-like and studded with little tentacles) some P500. The vibrators we have seen are either in soft pastel or flaming hues.

Actually, anything that vibrates will do the job: hand-held personal massagers function perfectly well as clitoral stimulants and are quite innocuous compared to the conventional shaft-types. Strictly speaking, vibrators and dildos are not Pinoy sex toys, since they’re not manufactured locally; but since lots of Filipinos use them, they should be counted as part of our sexual culture.

 

Potions and Creams
Lubricants work both for women and men: they’re indispensable for anal sex, and, inserted into a condom, can increase sensation delivered to a thrusting penis. The average home has plenty of items that can serve as lubricant, but each must be used with care. (Soap, for instance, is slippery but will irritate membranes if rubbed in for more than a few seconds.) Annie, a writer and bit actress on TV, has been buying vials of scent and aromatherapy products for years, and is well acquainted with the other uses of “massage oil.”

“I do like touching myself, but one thing that always bothered me was the odor that remained on my fingers the following morning,” she says. One night she solved the problem with a heavily-scented oil in her collection—“I think it was from Applewoods.” The combination of fragrance and sensuous texture, not to mention the subtle heat generated by rapid and frictionless movement, gave her screaming orgasms. Annie used the product, alone or with her then-boyfriend, until it ran out. There was only one problem: if she neglected to wash afterwards, she inevitably developed an itch in her vulva that persisted into the next few days. Which is not surprising, since oils will coat genital membranes, providing a breeding ground for bacteria. In addition, petroleum-based oils (including baby oil or Vaseline) will break down latex, the material used for condoms. Use them and say goodbye to safe sex.

Most lubricants sold in sex or novelty shops are water-based and attribute their slippery properties to glycerin, hydroxyethyl cellulose, or propelyne glycol. All contain a pH balancing agent and some sort of preservative, since the active ingredients are food additives. Aloe Vera or vitamin E are optional ingredients.

Sex lubes are hard to find, unless you have an understanding friend or relative abroad. The most accessible substitute is K-Y jelly, sold over the counter in any drug store, but, designed single-use medical situations, like the insertion of a catheter, it breaks down quickly. One should use it to jumpstart the process of arousal and then let nature take its course. There are products to help get women wet, and other products that ward off the male curse of premature ejaculation. Known as “desensitizers” they come in cream form: a version is sold on the street in Sta. Cruz, for about P350, in a little tube with Chinese characters and no English name. In fact, a Chinese pharmacy in the Binondo district of Manila will have an arsenal of such sex aids, along with exotic pills (probably multiple vitamins) to increase libido and products from the body parts of certain endangered species. These are not strictly “Pinoy” but are available to the Filipino if he knows where to look.

 

Some Pointers
Hygiene should always be a concern when using sex toys.

“They present a natural risk for injury,” says physician Eric Tayag of the Department of Health. “If not sexually transmissible diseases, then infection that results from abrasions in the genital membranes.” Tayag is particularly disapproving of the way some users keep their sex accessories: between tissue paper, in a plastic bag, or even jammed into a jeans pocket. While condoms are sterile-packed and used only once, there is no telling how your lover keeps his cock ring or how many other women have been pleasured with it, before you.

Tayag recommends that, to lower the risk of infection, users avoid injuring their genital areas. One way of doing this is to make sure there is plenty of good lubricant on hand, to avert friction burns. A douche after intercourse might not be a bad idea, provided it’s not done so often as to disrupt the normal bacterial content of the healthy vagina.

“One thing to remember,” he adds, “is that anything that ‘accessorizes’ the genital interferes with nature and can cause unwanted injury.” Some men, for instance, will have boletas inserted by friends or associates, in a kind of bonding ritual. An unsterile procedure will inevitably result in infection—if a man isn’t careful, he could well lose his penis. Obviously, if you want to play, you have to be sure your toys are all clean, and b) safe, and c) exclusively for your use. If you borrow someone’s vibrator, or trust your boyfriend to produce it for you, you’re asking for trouble.

A girl should stockpile her own sex toys so she can be sure she’s not bringing a host of other people into her bed. But she should also remind her partner to keep his accessories scrupulously clean. While the image of one’s lover washing out his cock ring as judiciously as he would his contact lenses is decidedly unerotic, it’s better to be silly than sorry.