The single girl's guide to surviving the holidays

“One is the loneliest number,” sang Harry Nilsson some thirty-odd years ago, in an infamous track that has become an anthem for the unattached. Christmastime can be especially difficult for those of us without significant others, as we’ve been groomed by media and society at large to judge a happy holiday according to the hands we hold in ours.

But now, at a time when a woman’s single status often equates to voluntary independence and taking control of a busy life, does this lonely business still make any sense? Not necessarily. “You don’t have to be with someone to feel like you belong,” shares Bella DePaulo, author of “Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After” (2007). DePaulo, who has a Ph.D. in Psychology and writes the “Living Single” blog for Psychology Today, suggests that uncommitted individuals survive the holidays by doing whatever interests them. “I can go to a social event and then go home and have my solitude. I feel that I get the best of both worlds!” she explains in this video.

To help you celebrate your singlehood—or at least tide you over until all the celebrating simmers down—here are a few tips to keep in mind. You’ll be single-and-ready-to-Kringle in no time!

Plan your date-inerary. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t get a date!  This Female Forum article says it is best to decide ahead of time which gatherings to attend so you can find someone great to bring along for each event. Plot out all the Christmas parties, dinners, and get-togethers you’ve been invited to and take note of the functions that require, or encourage, a plus one. This way, you give yourself enough time to find a close pal to go with—whether it’s your token gay friend or your BFF since birth. Remember, a random guy on your arm doesn’t exactly make a good date.

Host a singles party.  Why sit back and watch—something a lot of singles resort to—at parties where everyone’s coupled off? Show them your fighting side and throw a shindig of your own! Associated Content’s 5 Tips for Singles During the Holidays include hosting a dateless party for all your buddies in the same boat. You’ll have a blast over an amazing potluck, swapping old stories and clinching new inside jokes. If you’re feeling somewhat more sociable, tag your little bash as an open singles party. Eligible friends of partner-less pals will flock to your fete, as birds of the same feather often do—and all the better for it!

Play dress up. One of the best things about being a single girl is that you are free to modify your hairstyle, makeup, or wardrobe without having to ask for a man’s opinion—or, even worse, permission. The Single Girl’s Guide to Men suggests that you fight off the holiday blues by giving yourself a mini makeover, be it through a few snips off your current coif, a lipstick shade you’ve been too chicken to try, or a brand new head-to-toe outfit for that pending Christmas party. A change in the looks department, however subtle, will give you that needed extra boost to feel comfortable, attractive, and downright sexy in your single skin.

Do good unto others. Forget your boyfriend troubles, or lack thereof, for the moment—the world has much bigger issues to face. Show that you care by signing up for Christmas charities, as this eHow.com singles guide counsels. Two of the article’s five tips advise singles to spend time with less fortunate folks who are left neglected during the holidays—by relations much deeper than mere men. You can volunteer at a local nursing home and spread the cheer to the unvisited elderly; or, you can put together a delicious noche buena for street kids and residents of nearby slum areas. How’s that for taking your mind off your personal life?

Fly solo—to an exotic getaway! To really appreciate the beauty of solitude, book a trip to a place you’ve never been to before and explore its wonders on your own.  Associated Content’s final tip for being single during the holidays is that you make time to be alone by going away on a little vacation. This prevents you from engaging in sad, single-lady activities like staying home with your cat on date night; gives you a break from the worrisome yet often meaningless intricacies of the daily grind; and, most importantly, lets you experience a new kind of Christmas in the midst of an exciting, unknown culture. Travelling solo is also ideal for those of a spontaneous spirit: you get to go wherever you want, without having to double-check with someone first, and you needn’t worry about anybody else but yourself.  Talk about a hassle-free holiday!

Are you going solo this coming Christmas vacation? Are you dreading the loneliness or excited and energized at all the me-time you'll get? Share your plans! Leave a comment below or talk it up with other GIRLTalkers on our forum!

(Photos courtesy of sxc.hu 1, 2)

• im not single and yet im alone this xmas ... hubby lives far *sigh*
  by pixiedusk on 2009-12-13 13:19:40
• I have a single friend aged 33 who has this problem. Each time she goes on family reunions or any gathering with friends. She get asked when she is getting married or if she is seeing someone. She's just tired of it. I do wanna say that it is annoying. I used to be like her and i was happy then. It's fun being single. I think everyone should also note the advantages of not having a partner who wants to control your every move. Women can do well on their own even without a man to hang on to. We are strong like that. Give these women a break.
  by rainy14 on 2009-12-21 04:45:57
• I have a single friend aged 33 who has this problem. Each time she goes on family reunions or any gathering with friends. She get asked when she is getting married or if she is seeing someone. She's just tired of it. I do wanna say that it is annoying. I used to be like her and i was happy then. It's fun being single. I think everyone should also note the advantages of not having a partner who wants to control your every move. Women can do well on their own even without a man to hang on to. We are strong like that. Give these women a break.
  by rainy14 on 2009-12-21 04:45:57
• Sorry about the double post. System was not loading right
  by rainy14 on 2009-12-21 04:46:55
• i am not single, but my SO is in another country. it gets depressing at times, not only during the holiday season. but i always see the positive side of things.. think that being geographically single will enable you to party all night, enjoy the company of other single ladies (without the feeling of being totally single), and spend time with your family. Do things that you know you will miss when you are attached. ;)
  by rottenmind on 2009-12-21 05:43:21
• i am not single, but my SO is in another country. it gets depressing at times, not only during the holiday season. but i always see the positive side of things.. think that being geographically single will enable you to party all night, enjoy the company of other single ladies (without the feeling of being totally single), and spend time with your family. Do things that you know you will miss when you are attached. ;) ooppss. please delete the above post.
  by rottenmind on 2009-12-21 05:44:16
• Im single... but im ok! My relatives are not ok with it! I wonder how they gauge happiness with having BF.. hehe you can have BF and not be happy =P
  by chinky_baguette on 2009-12-29 08:47:16
• being single is not so easy, we need companion, but if wala pa anjan nman mga friends ntin.
  by Aizen on 2010-02-24 03:41:54
• Spend time with the family because that will be sacrificed again as soon as you have a new relationship.
  by Dan on 2010-03-04 11:39:00