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Maybe you’ve had orgasms. But maybe you wouldn’t mind if they were easier to come by. And maybe life wouldn’t be so bad if your orgasms were so great that afterward, you needed to be, well, peeled off the ceiling. But the important question is: Can your orgasms actually get better?

Not only did Cosmo discover that you can make your Big O bigger, we’ve also found some surefire ways for you to climax more easily. “Many factors can help you become more orgasmic,” insists Jennifer Knopf, a Chicago-based sex and marital therapist. “Anything from good sexual communication to a healthy lifestyle can help heighten your arousal. Since every woman is different, experience to find your most powerful combination.” Here, the keys to maxing out your orgasmic potential.

Rest Up
Your most satisfying gym visits probably occur when your stamina, endurance, and vitality levels are highest. Ditto for sex.

“When you’re exhausted, you just don’t have the energy to achieve powerful orgasms,” says Lonnie Barbach, Ph.D., a San Francisco psychotherapist and author of For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy (Anchor/Signet, 1982).

If you’re having trouble being a sexual Energizer Bunny, try these libido-lifters: Rack up the z’s—at least eight hours worth if you can—the night before you plan to have a romantic tryst, eat well, exercise, and stay clear of drugs and alcohol.

 

Give Yourself a Hand
Does the thought of touching yourself during sex make you more uncomfortable than does trying on bathing suits in a communal dressing room? Well, get over it. The clitoris is the most sensitive female body part (it has the most nerve endings), explains Barbach. Try manually stimulating your clitoris and the outside of your labia or vulva during intercourse.

Which positions are best for hands-on sex? “The angles and positions that work best vary, because everyone has a different body build and different preferences,” explains Jane Greer, a New York marriage and couples therapist. Be experimental and try new body fits during every liaison. “When my boyfriend and I first started having sex, I couldn’t climax during intercourse,” says Linda, a 32-year-old stockbroker in Mandaluyong. “Finally, I found a position that allowed me to press my fingers on my clitoris while he was inside me, and this combo produced orgasms that I thought people only faked in the movies.” Bonus tip: Try to find positions that allow you to receive preorgasmic clitoral stimulation from your partner’s belly or pubic bone during intercourse.

Caress the Crescent
“The clitoris is only one sensitive part of a woman’s sexual anatomy,” states Lisa Douglass, Ph.D., coauthor of Are We Having Fun Yet? The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Sex (Hyperion, 1997). “Maximum pleasure is achieved when all three parts of what is called the orgasmic crescent—a curved area that extends from the clitoral top across the urethral opening (the U spot) and inside the vagina to the G spot—are stimulated.”

To locate your G spot, Douglass suggests bringing yourself to erection—in other words, when your vulva fills with blood and you mentally feel for a super pleasure-producing place usually located two inches—or a short finger’s length—up your vagina’s front wall. “For some women, the spot doesn’t immediately feel sexual to the touch. It might feel like you have to pee, but once you get past that, the sensation contributes to the greatest orgasms,” she explains.

Here’s how you or your partner should caress the orgasmic crescent: Manually or orally, touch both the clitoral tip and the U spot while simultaneously applying pressure to the G spot. Since the crescent can’t be stroked during intercourse, stimulating this area is really a form of masturbating or foreplay.

 

Tease Yourself
“Too many women try to experience an orgasm as quickly as possible,” says Barbach. “Instead they should build up to right before they’re about to peak, but not go over the line. Then let the feeling subside a little. This process should be done at least a few times.”

The beauty of this roller-coaster method is that when you finally let yourself go, you’re practically guaranteed an outrageous orgasm. “When arousal mounts to such intensity, release becomes the only natural outgrowth,” explains Barbach. This means you’re likely to climax from types of stimulation that don’t normally do it for you. “I had only been able to reach orgasm through oral sex until one time, my partner paused during foreplay to find a condom, which forced me to cool down for a minute,” said Lorrie, a 28-year-old chef in Makati. “When we started up again, I was super-turned on and actually came from intercourse.”

Free Your Mind
The most powerful erogenous zone is the mind, so “if you are distracted by anything during sex, it will be more difficult to climax,” says Knopf. “Tension prevents the type of blood circulation that facilitates reaching orgasm easily. Blood doesn’t go down to your vagina, your labia don’t swell and part, and you don’t lubricate enough for penetration.”

Try these anti-anxiety moves. “Those who are self-conscious should dim the lights or wear sexy lingerie that is strategically concealing,” says Avodah K. Offit, a New York City psychiatrist and author of Night Thoughts: Reflections of a Sex Therapist (Jason Aaronson, 1995). Women who fear getting pregnant should double up on protection.

Then, get selfish about sex. “Since sex is the most effective stress reliever, I refuse to let anything get in the way,” says Cathy, 37, a reporter in Cebu City. “To get emotionally ready, I’ll kick back with a beer and take a bath, which clears my mind. Then, when my man and I start having sex, I think about him getting off while he’s inside me, which keeps me focused.”

 

Show and Tell
Unless your man is a mind reader—and most aren’t—you better spell out your sexual desires. Or at least map them out. “Women should hand-glide their partner and manually show him how they like to be touched,” says Knopf. The not-so-shy set should use positive “I” statements such as “I like it best when you stroke me that way.”

And don’t forget to cue him about his pace. “Orgasms during intercourse are most easily achieved when a couple’s tempo, rhythm, and speed are in sync and gaining momentum,” says Greer.

Get a Grip
Performing Kegel, or “muscle control” exercises to build up your pubococcygeus muscles—the ones that surround your vagina—and doing these pelvic push-ups during intercourse often makes orgasms more intense. “Contracting and squeezing your PC muscles facilitates stimulation and lubrication, which bring on orgasm,” explains Offit.

“My orgasm has always been ho-hum, and I used to think it was because my husband, Glenn, isn’t very big,” says Susan, 32, a computer programmer from Pasig. “But after doing Kegels for two months and then trying them out when we made love, I’m now able practically to make a suction cup around Glenn’s penis. The friction feels so incredibly good.”

Try these love-muscle toning techniques: Tighten the area around your vagina as if you were trying to stop the flow of urine, hold the contraction for a few seconds, and exhale; then, release the contraction. Repeat this 10 times, working your way up to 15 sets of 10 a day.

 

Go Ahead, Have Another
“Letting your stimulation level drop off slightly after you’ve had an orgasm increases your odds of having another one,” Knopf explains. “Few women can receive a long period of direct stimulation without experiencing pain, so have your partner use a lighter, teasing style of touch after you’ve climaxed, to bring you back to a high level of arousal.” About 15 percent of the original pressure should work.

And of course, “accept that an appetite for lots of satisfaction doesn’t make you greedy,” says Offit. On the other hand, remember that more isn’t necessarily better. Orgasms shouldn’t be about numbers; they should be about whatever feels good.

No big O? If you’ve never had one…
Every woman has the ability to climax, so don’t fret. Here, five techniques to try:

Ditch the guilt. Don’t feel guilty about enjoying sex. “Subconsciously, I think I used to feel strange about touching myself and trying to have an orgasm,” says Sharmaine, 30, a computer programmer. “Then one day, a group of my friends openly admitted to masturbating during sex with a partner and convinced me that it’s totally acceptable. That very night, I came after four years of futile tries.”

Practice, practice, practice. Touch yourself in a variety of ways in and around your genitals and breasts to find out how your body responds to different types of stimulation. Use your fingers or an electric vibrator to conduct your self-exploration and learn to feel comfortable with your body.

Rev yourself up. Watch sexy or x-rated videos, talk dirty, act out a fantasy, or read erotic literature. “I used to try to have an orgasm without setting a sexy mood or thinking about anything sensual,” says Samantha, 29, a talent caster from Roxas Boulevard. “Now I get ready by thinking about something racy, like a scene from an erotic movie, and I never miss an orgasm. It turns out that I’m totally turned on by mental imagery.”

Don’t obsess. If you constantly worry about whether you’ll have an orgasm, you’ll psych yourself out. Instead, focus on the entire sexual experience you’re having.

Seek expert help. If you’ve just about given up, see a sex therapist.

 

Climax Confessions
“A tingling sensation overcomes my lips, fingers, and legs, and then the shivering seems to converge right at my clitoris and end in one huge combustion that makes me totally weak.” —Andrea, 32, stage actress

“The insides of my thighs shake uncontrollably, and I feel a warmth trickle down my body.” —Beth, 28, physical therapist

“When I finally hit my peak, I feel like a guild has been release in my body that quickly flows through all of my veins.” —Cathy, 36, account executive

“The whole thing seems like an out-of-body experience. I literally feel my clitoris quivering as though it isn’t connected to my brain—or the rest of my body—in any way.” —Ellen, 35, travel agent

“It’s like receiving lots of little electric shocks, and the final sensation drains me completely of all energy.” —Wilma, 30, insurance executive

“Loads of tension and resistance build up, and then, there’s a massive explosion that lets my body experience a powerful feeling of release right in the spot where I pee.” —Tracy, 29, TV producer