“Ladies and gentlemen, please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts. We are approaching some patches of turbulence ahead.” Whenever these words are uttered in an airplane, an uncomfortable stirring runs through the general passenger populace. Along with it, various reactions are seen: seatbelts clicking under whispered curses, barf bags readied with disgust, rosaries held tightly by nervous hands, sleep attempted in great haste.
This is exactly how most men view pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS). It’s the unnecessary, unpredictable, bumpy portion of a usually smooth ride. Unless your girlfriend’s period is irregular, you might know when it’s going to strike or maybe how long it’s going to last. But there’s no reassurance. Men still have to be prepared and face PMS in their own way, go with the flow, so to speak.
I used to be dead-set on having a good time with my girlfriend regardless of her PMS. During her time of month, my girlfriend gets really quiet, moody—and I can’t get anything right. Over the phone, I’d attempt to be funny: crack jokes and make witty remarks, hoping to draw her out of her lifeless mood. When it worked, at least I’d get her talking. But when it didn’t, I’d end up talking to a brick wall. Sometimes I’d take her out, hoping a movie would help. It would start out okay. She’d get all excited, smiling and chatting like nothing was wrong with the world, like she didn’t have her period. After the movie, getting her to talk about the film would be something else. Her mood would plummet and get the better of her. All I would get were mere one-word answers or a flat “It was okay.” When that comes, it means I can forget about coffee, nightcaps or whatever. She’ll just give me the all-too familiar, “I’m sleepy na, eh.” Time to go home.
My girlfriend’s PMS-induced mood catches me off-guard from time to time. It’s difficult to discern if she’s pissed or just not feeling well because of her PMS. How’s a guy to know? When she doesn’t talk, I think I did something wrong. When I pry for clues or answers, she won’t even cooperate. When I ask her what’s wrong, she flares up. We’d fight. Once, in a fit of solitary confinement, my girlfriend decided not to speak to me—I stood in her room for thirty minutes, waiting for a yes or no answer to a simple question I asked her. Recently, I got so pissed that I left her house in a huff when she decided to wall me out again because she “wasn’t feeling well.” (After driving through traffic after a long day at work, she suddenly decided to ignore me when I arrived at her house.) These are the days when my normally calm frame of mind really goes through the roof and my usually orderly world view seems askew.
And when that happens, you can be sure it will affect me in a big way. I’ll be quiet at work the morning after, holing up in my cubicle. I’ll bark at my officemates. I’ll be stressed, sleepy (from fighting with my girlfriend all night on the phone), and just plain cranky. My friends and officemates then become unwitting victims of my own PMS-ing mood. It’s a vicious cycle.
Fine if it happens once but every month, month after month? Am I stuck in a rut? Worse, it seems there’s nothing I can do to help. When I show concern, all I get in return is silence or some half-baked answer (mind you, some of my friends think I’m lucky. It can get worse).
Listen up, guys. I have a solution: sleep through it. Yup, sleep until she eventually comes around. Instead of sitting around and taking unwarranted punches, I let her have her space. I call to check up on her, but I do not expect any conversation. (Knowing that if I prod her, we’ll end up fighting.) Instead of taking her out to cheer her up, I hang out with other friends or spend some time alone. It’s been working out well, so far. I don’t get caught up in her moods, and most of all, I’ve learned not to take it personally, that it is a fact of life that one has to deal with. I just have to hang in there, remain seated with my seatbelt fastened until I get past the turbulence.
24 Comments
Add Commenti really don't believe in that pms thing. sure it's a hormonal thing, but hey, girls don't let that get the best of her. if ur girl's cranky, or acting insanely, don't blame it on that time of the month.what a lame excuse to be b*tchy :)
August 31, 2006 at 3:12 amActually you can never blame a girl to experience PMS..it is a hormonal imbalance that we have to suffer, we really can't control the emotions particularly if somethings are not on our way, though we're trying too hard to be nice and be our usual selves but really we can't help it. PMS does takes its own course and really reigning every month in our cycle. FOR MEN: Just try to understand that it is not everyday we have PMS... ^__^
August 31, 2006 at 12:00 pmi really appreciate the guy's effort to understand his gf when she is experiencing PMS. I mean, guys! You dont know what women feel when it's that time of the month. Our body feels weird, our "puson" hurts, I for one experiences bouts of headaches and even LBM. I get sudden cramps and dark bruises. And the mood swings! We dont just use it as an EXCUSE to be b*tchY! Who wants to go out and try to have fun when all we want is to lie in bed and be left alone for a while? But because we love our boyfriends or husbands, we try our best to please them yet we are silently suffering... struggling with the pain and emotional turbulence. So guys, be a little patient pls... it will only last a few days anyway. After those days, we'll be back to the same old nice and sweet lady that you loved!
September 4, 2006 at 2:00 amit's good to know that there are some guys who knows how to deal with situations like this. for the guy's follow this example, it won't make you look like "pa-under"... in fact that kind of attitude is what we gals are looking for... that would make us sigh as tell to ourselves "he's the man!!"
September 10, 2006 at 5:34 pmhey guys! its normal to a women feels like that..we cannot blame our selves if that time comes because its comes from God, Even if we dont like to have that period,we have no choice but to accept..so pls.understand us...its not being an excuses for any thing...and why we do that? well...well...well....all you have to do is to be patient. ok! and i really appriciate those guys who understand thier GF....we proud of you boy!
September 10, 2006 at 8:53 pmI understand. It's like when a guy isn't feeling well, he might not be in the best mood. by the way I just found a really cool online dating and matchmaking service for singles called Keywordlove (www.keywordlove.com).
September 11, 2006 at 11:19 pmHey guys, in this kind of situation,we really need more understanding, patience and care from someone. Just like other girls, everyitme I have this I wanted to stay alone and close my eyes just for me not to feel the pain too much. I feel like about to die cuz of the super pain. In this case, it is better for the guys not to invite us anywhere else..After few hrs, we'll be okay...I think it's better for you guys to say na lang "I'm here if you need me". Those words will surely help us to feel better...(SWEET)
September 13, 2006 at 1:44 pmheck, its not an excuse to be cranky while its your time of the month. bahala ka if you keep on acting that way... you'll miss out on a lot of fun... being in pain doesnt mean you can act anyway you can...thats immature... pati my painkillers naman di ba? c:
September 13, 2006 at 4:34 pmwhen I am pms-ing, i get very irritated with the littlest of things and yes, my poor boyfriend if he's in the way- suffers a bit. i commend the author for writing this. i love more my boyfriend for reading through the author's mind :)
January 27, 2007 at 11:44 amto the ones who don't believe in PMS and say that its an excuse to be b*tchy, how dare you *ssume!! >:(
February 28, 2007 at 3:46 pmyeah, i think people should believe PMS, because it really happens. when i have pms, i get really cranky, get irritated easily, have bad temper, and yeah, it seems many things are not right. and my ex had to deal with it. we would usually fight. at first i didn't know that it was because of pms. but later on, when i figured it out, i'd just tell him, i might have pms two days from now or next week. then, he'd know that he should behave accordingly. the author's right, i think men should just sleep things over. or if he likes to be with the girl, he just needs to put up with the girl's tantrums, instead of fighting against her. because it will just turn into a big fight -- all because of pms. thanks for the article.
March 1, 2007 at 5:51 pmi think it's just "ka-artehan"...of course there' a feeling of being uncomfortable but the rest seems so blown out of proportion
March 21, 2007 at 1:38 amI think its normal to have PMS because when i'm about to have my period i always have mood swings, hot tempered and I fight with my bf even if there's no reason at all.. but he still don't understnd it.. so sad.. :(
March 24, 2007 at 4:50 pmthe heck some doctors wont accept pms ...particularly MEN doctors!
March 29, 2007 at 3:11 ambut seriously PMS really especially a week or two weeks prior to our period.it can manifest physically and psychologically and its not "kaartehan" guys because ur hormones always work in your favor
March 29, 2007 at 3:14 ami think mood is also based on situations that we, girls, encounter. we get pissed for some reason that we might not wanna tell you, guys, and having a period is not really a good feeling. it hinders things that you can still do. sometimes it includes pain. you have to understand.:)
April 3, 2007 at 5:13 amthe first guy is an idiot.
April 7, 2007 at 3:49 amIt is very immature and ignorant to think pms is a faked condition. My pms is so bad that I become suicidal every freakin period. I am getting help with that btw. My poor fiance has to deal with this, but fortunately understands my needs during that time.
April 15, 2007 at 2:20 ampms thing is real and it's realy hard for us girl. If you guys think it's just "kaartehan" then i hope and pray that in your next life you'll be the girl and i hope you'll experience the most painful PMS
May 14, 2007 at 4:36 pmi have irregular periods and when that time comes, my mood swings are terrible, and i flare up easily etc. my bf fortunately understand what i am going through. he sees me lying in bed, clutching my tummy and crying and i can sense the pain he is going through seeing me like that.
May 15, 2007 at 1:19 pmhey guyz!! its true sometimes we need your patience, understanding and support during the PMS cycle. I myself experienced such and its hard to be good especially when your not in the mood for anything due to the pain we suffer. Its not easy experiencing such. I know we get too moody and over sensitive, its all because of the fluctuating hormonal change during that time. My BF also suffers the same way, honestly we don't want you guys to feel awful but we can't help it especially if we are in pain. Just extend your patience, after all it last for a couple of days and we'll be in our sweet self again. :)
May 19, 2007 at 3:30 pmTo all those guys and girls who don't believe in PMS. I can tell you that it's real. For years I had to suffer for extreme mood swings and I wouldn't know why, I was suicidally depressed. I had a 3 day headache that would end in the worst migraine complete with light sensitivity - the least amount of light gave me this stabbing pain, nausea and vomiting, food smells and any kind of movement made me vomit. So imagine my fun running to the bathroom from my bed to vomit every few minutes. My back hurt and my abdomen felt like somebody was cutting out my insides with a rusty jagged spoon. For 3 days out of each month I couldn't eat or sleep and was constantly vomiting. Painkillers did nothing, I almost poisoned myself several times trying to get rid of the pain. My family thought I was just being a b*tch and ignored me. So you try being all sunshine and happiness when you have this to look forward to every month. I had to go through this for 15 years. Some people have PMS and some don't. Don't dismiss it unless you've experienced it.
June 27, 2007 at 9:53 amWe may not be feeling well during our PMS, but I don't believe that it is an excuse to get so cranky. Values and virtues uv learned all those yrs shouldnt be broken by jst hormones, unless of course if it is all jst front. I get that major pain and uneasiness every month, but I never let it get the best of me.
January 4, 2008 at 12:27 am