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Having a healthy, loving relationship is as important as breathing; however, many still fall short of protecting theirs. No matter how many times one promises to be loyal, to remain true, the relationship will crumble if the foundation is not strong.

Indeed, there is no relationship that is “infidelity-proof,” but each of us is given a choice—to either nurture the beautiful love story or turn it into a nightmare.

Here are some relationship behaviors that can lead to unfaithfulness:

1. Avoiding important issues. When this takes place, your partner feels neglected and ignored. Loneliness slowly creeps in, making one very vulnerable. Some may not have any intention to look for someone else, but loneliness caused by neglect makes it easy for them to fall into the trap of infidelity.

2. Becoming passive about passion. Passion is often considered more real for young and new couples. The longer the relationship lasts, the more passion withers. There should be conscious effort from both parties to keep the fire burning. It happens that life’s concerns such as money, family, and compatibility interfere with passion and cause it to wane. Yet never take for granted the sensual and physical aspects of your relationship. It may be just one aspect of your relationship, but loss of it can strongly trigger infidelity in your partner.

3. Having a “friend” from the opposite sex. Vulnerability endangers one’s relationship. When this happens, the so-called “clean friendship” with a member of the opposite sex can be harmful, particularly when you start comparing your “friend” with your partner: “My friend treats me better than my partner does” or “No one has made me feel so loved, the way my best friend loves and cares for me.” Remember: Friendships should complement your relationship, not replace it.

There should be conscious effort from both parties to keep the fire burning.

4. Not letting go of negative relationship paradigms. Past experiences, whether good or bad, have an influence on our behavior toward commitment and intimacy. We have observed the successes and failures of people close to us: how they are able to stand firm despite trials, in the same way that we’ve seen infidelity and deceit among families and friends. Consciously or unconsciously, these events have a great impact on how we view and handle our own relationships.

It’s so easy to say that we value our relationship but we often forget that it takes responsibility to nurture and cultivate it. Affairs don’t happen overnight; like diseases, there are signs and symptoms before they progress. Often, we are unaware that seeds of infidelity are being planted. However, knowledge, understanding of the situation, plus love and willingness from both parties can uproot affair-prone tendencies and replace them with seeds of commitment and loyalty.

Photo courtesy of Cosmopolitan Philippines