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You’ve been friends for ages. He’s like a brother, always there when you need a shoulder to cry on, always up for a last-minute movie date—but it’s been purely platonic between you. Still, the last time he drove you home, you felt a powerful urge to invite him in for something more than a late-night chat. And you’ve been thinking about him constantly. For whatever reason, you’ve decided he’s your man. Can you turn a friend into a boyfriend?

Only if he really likes you. But how can you be sure he likes you as more than a friend if you’ve always been just friends?

Hints He’s Hooked
There are certain things a friend does say when he is drawn to you. For example: He always just happens to be in your neighborhood or near your office. He likes to watch Friends at your apartment. If you are coworkers, he’s frequently drinking water from the fountain near your desk.

The bottom line: When a man is attracted to you, he finds ways—excuses—to be near you. Believe it, whoever chooses to be next to you likes you. You don’t have to look far and wide to find him. You can’t get rid of him.

When a friend wants to date you, he does not talk about other women even if he’s dating someone else. He doesn’t notice other women, even your very attractive girlfriends. While he’s private about his own love life, he asks a lot of questions about yours. He wants to know the type of guy you like to date and what you like to do on Saturday nights. He makes it sound as if he’s just curious but he’s really figuring out how he’s going to us that information to make a move one day. He thinks anyone you’re dating is not good enough for you.

When a male friend is really interested in you, he tries to be helpful. He’ll offer to show you how to play tennis or help you move into an apartment without expecting anything in return. He’ll tease you, flirt with you, and try to make you laugh. He tries to be cool around you, but he’s really quite nervous. For example, he may act nonchalant when he suggests a new restaurant, but he won’t be able to hide his disappointment if you don’t love it. Or he’ll casually drop by your apartment—“just in the neighborhood”—but if you have another man there, your friend will become flustered and make a fast retreat.

Just-a-Friend Facts
When a male friend is not interested in you romantically, he’s calm, rational, matter-of-fact. You know you can take everything he does and says at face value.

He asks for advice about dating because he really wants your advice! He’s not secretly in love with you or bringing it up to get closer to you. He talks freely about liking other women. You’re like his sister—there’s no sexual undercurrent. If you’re not dating anyone, he might offer to fix you up with someone, but he doesn’t want to go out with you himself. He doesn’t want to start anything; he feels no spark.

If you’re having a problem with the guy you’re dating, he will try to help you work it out, as opposed to helping you get out of the relationship!

He might get a little jealous when you have a boyfriend, the same way a close girlfriend would, because your relationship takes time away from your friendship with him. This, however, does not mean he wants you. You’d know if he did—if you thought about it honestly.

When a male friend is just a friend, he helps you just as much as you help him—but no more. He might be your best friend—someone who would be there in a pinch if you ever needed him. But his eyes don’t follow you down the street as you walk away; he doesn’t secretly dream about having sex with you. And such feelings on a man’s part are essential in the beginning of a romantic relationship!