Feel like you’re stuck in a dating rut? You may have the wrong attitude toward dating.
It’s easy to be discouraged from entering or returning to the dating scene when you’ve experienced bad breakups, dates from hell, and other nightmares in the romance department that you’d rather not commit to memory—or go through again. If you’re beginning to notice that you have more misses than hits, it’s time to change your dating attitude. After all, while you have no control over your potential dates, you certainly can make personal adjustments.
Lisa Steadman, the Relationship Journalist and author of “It’s A Breakup, Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life—for good!” lists five ways to free yourself from common dating traps in Yahoo! Personals.
1. “Identify the dating traps you’re stuck in.”
Dating should not be seen as a solution to your love problems or as a way to meet someone who can make your life better. Neither should you refrain from going out on dates simply because you feel you do not deserve to be loved—yet. These notions are among the dating traps that you should acknowledge then rid yourself of.
2. “Assess your excess baggage.”
What negative thoughts, fears, and destructive beliefs do you bring with you on dates: rejections, disappointments, betrayals? Note that all these belong in the past. They will only weight you down and prevent you from getting the happiness you deserve.
3. “Dump your excess baggage.”
Let go of all negative emotions and painful memories, as you acknowledge all the lessons you’ve gained from them. Then start visualizing the life you want—which includes having the perfect mate—and allow yourself to attract this positive force. Know that you deserve to find the suitable partner.
4. Don’t put off your life and personal happiness.
A lot of us peg our happiness on finding a better job, getting richer, looking thinner, and being with the man of our dreams. We all forget that being happy is a choice we make and not something we have to wait or aspire for. And there’s no better time to be happy than the present. When we stop delaying our happiness, we attract more beautiful things into our lives—including great people, new opportunities, and healthy relationships.
5. “Embrace a new dating vocabulary.”
After ditching your excess baggage and dating traps, it’s time to replace those with a new dating belief system. “Every morning and night for 30 days…say to yourself, ‘Love/dating/my ideal relationship is_________’ then fill in the blank with the appropriate words (such as ‘healthy,’ ‘whole,’ ‘loving,’ ‘fun,’ etc.),” writes Steadman. “By creating a new vocabulary for yourself, you may be surprised at how your outlook on dating and relationships changes, and as a result, you'll start attracting happier and healthier potential partners.”
You have to understand that dating should primarily be fun and carefree. So enjoy it even more now that you know how to get on the right dating track. Then share with us how this helped you!
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