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Call at the right time. Not first thing in the morning. Try shortly before lunch or around 4 p.m. Always ask whether it’s a good time to talk, in case you do catch him at a bad time.

Be specific. Don’t just say, “Do you want to go out?” Have an actual event or activity and have an actual date, as in the following:

• Tara, lunch tayo! Tomorrow? At The Old Spaghetti House?

• Hey, Happy Feet is showing. You want to see it after work on Friday?

• This new dimsum place just opened. Wanna have lunch there on Thursday?

• Hi, we met at the party/cocktails/exhibit last week. I’m calling to see if you want to watch a movie Saturday? I hear Borat is showing.

• I want to start rockclimbing/biking/playing badminton. You want to go with me this Saturday morning?

• This play showing at CCP is supposed to be good. You want to see the matinee this Sunday?

• I was looking for someone to go with me to this exhibit/sale/play/filmshowing/premiere Saturday night. Would you be interested?

Events not usually associated with romantic dating are best for girls asking guys. They’re easier for him to say yes to. Don’t ask him to take you to dinner or to go dancing. The more ordinary, the better.

Lunch is better than dinner. Daytime better than nighttime. Again, easier for him to say yes to. He’ll be more conscious if the time and place feel too much like a real date. That can scare him or make him feel something is “expected.”

Bring money for the both of you. Just in case. Usually, it would be KKB, but if you asked him with the line “I have two tickets…,” then you’re responsible for the tickets.

Should he refuse. Guys know how it feels; they’re not likely to say no to a first date. But if he does, it’s not the end of the world. Make a quick graceful exit. Be cavalier and say this: “Some other time. You can call me—you have my number don’t you?” If he doesn’t, give it, say goodbye, then forget about it. If he does call, it’ll be a nice surprise.