Clashing Spouses: 4 Win-Win Negotiation Strategies for You and Your Husband

Differences of opinion can be the root of many unpleasant interactions, especially when people are tied to each other by marriage; some people may opt to avoid or deny such differences.

On one hand, as a wife, you may choose to be subservient to your husband’s wish and conform to his ideas. For example, you may get involved in a type of employment that will allow you more time with your children. (Occupations like creative or technical writing, creating Web sites, or perhaps tutoring are flexible enough in nature to allow mothers to work from home.)

On the other hand, if you feel passionate about working outside, you may also put your foot down should your husband suggest taking on a more home-oriented role. You may need to find ways to convince your husband to allow you to go back to work or even go head-on with him and fight for what you want. Both strategies of giving in and fighting it out obviously have advantages and drawbacks. Oftentimes, one party wins, and the other loses the argument.

Although marital conflict brings a lot of discomfort, it may be seen as an opportunity to grow in a relationship. When tackling sensitive issues, we suggest a negotiation strategy that creates a win-win situation for both parties. This begins and ends with both you and your husband focusing on your shared and differing motivations and reasons.

Click through the slide show below to learn about tips you should follow when negotiating with your hubby.


For more articles on strengthening your marriage, check out the following:

• Find Your Bliss: 7 Secrets to a Happy and Healthy Marriage
• Reality Check: 8 Things to Remember During Marital Downtime
• 7 Questions You Should Ask Yourself to Build a Stronger Marriage
• For Better or Worse: 8 Tips to Live Happily Ever After with Your Husband
• Speak Up: 5 Tips to Better Communication with Your Husband
• True Love: 8 Secrets to a Happy Marriage

(First published as “Clashing Spouses” in November 2008, under the “Keep It Real” column in the Good Housekeeping Philippines Good Family section. Adapted for use in Female Network. Photos from Mr. and Mrs. Smith courtesy of 20th Century Fox.)