You really want to know how to make sex more enjoyable? Well, this article isn’t going to tell you about new positions or new sex toys that you can take with you when you and your man get it on. It will, however, tell you an age old truth that is often forgotten--sex begins even before you take your clothes off and doesn’t end after the big O.
Knowing that fact and giving it the reverence it deserves is the first key to making sex more enjoyable. Here are some pre- and post-sexual activities to get you revved up for some loving.
BEFORE SEX
1. STIMULATE THE INTELLECT
Sex begins in the brain, and the largest sex organ is the mind. And it might as well be the most responsive. Just ask someone who’s able to connect with a lover on an intellectual level, and they’ll tell you that the deep connection brings a form of ecstasy that is hard to come by.
Mitch Mauricio is a photographer who likes to capture various aspects of women’s sexuality in photos. She discusses concepts for photography projects and exhibits with her boyfriend, Paolo, who is not only supportive, but also gives insightful suggestions.
“He gets me,” said Mitch, “and that’s just another reason for me to love him more, why the sex is great.”
Intellectual stimulation makes all the difference between sex that is ho-hum and sex that is, well, mind-blowing.
2. PUMP UP THE ADRENALINE
Have you ever come off a wild roller coaster ride, screaming, “That was better than sex!”?
That was probably your adrenaline talking. Adrenaline is a hormone that increases energy levels and alertness. It’s determines how alive you feel when you try something thrilling--your senses are jolted, and your body is highly sensitized. It also makes for a good addition if you want to turn a good night into a great one.
Nix the usual temptation to go for a candlelight dinner. Trade in the red carpet attire, and get down with bungee jumping, trekking, surfing--any activity that requires you to exert a little bit more physical effort. These adrenaline filled dates are sure to jack up the sensors, and the sex afterward may be hard to compare to anything else. Check out this article from ideas.thenest.com for adrenaline-laden date ideas.
3. LAUGH IT UP
Marilyn Monroe is quoted as saying, “Make a woman laugh and you can make her do anything.” She’s right. There's nothing sexier than a sense of humor. Think of all the famous comedians--Dolphy and Vic Sotto among them--who always seem to have women falling all over themselves to get to them. Even David Spade got Heather Locklear as a date.
What’s the lowdown? Sex can make us self-conscious; we worry on end about performance or how our body looks in strange positions, but when you can laugh at yourself in the midst of all that–that’s hot.
“When we were still getting to know each other in bed, we had our share of bloopers in bed,” shares Wanda [not her real name] of her current beau of three years. “Once, we literally bumped into each other and had to stop because it was so painful! He made a wisecrack about it, we had a good laugh, and it broke the ice and made the sex humorously hot.”
“We still laugh about that now–in and out of the bedroom,” she confides. “It’s our own kind of private joke–if you know what I mean.”
AFTER SEX: POST-COITAL SEX DRIVERS
1. LOAD UP ON CONVERSATION
Remember all those scenes in Pretty Woman, where Richard Gere and Julia Roberts would lie in bed talking after sex? They talked about their individual childhoods, their dreams and aspirations.
Heavy stuff, yeah, but that’s what sex does. After all, sex doesn't just mean baring yourself physically to your partner. It means more than just a physical union. When you enjoy the sex, the talking after isn’t so bad. In fact, it sometimes gives you the impetus to go for another round.
2. SLEEP TOGETHER--LITERALLY
Tres sugar says that the act of sleeping with each other as incredibly intimate. “Like sex and saying 'I love you,' waking up next to someone in the morning can run the gamut between incredibly satisfying and panic inducing.”
Sleeping through the night with another person can also be considered a relationship milestone. Because, let's face it--not all of us are sleeping beauties. Some of us snore, some of us drool or grind our teeth. Some of us do all of the above. But when you trust someone enough to sleep with them and let them see that side of you, that’s intimacy.
But the best part about sleeping together? When he reaches over across the sheets in that sleepy, groggy state that is between wakefulness and deep slumber just to pull you closer to him--that is the stuff sweet dreams and great sex are made of.
Up your sex life ante with help from these articles:
(Photo by NeoGaboX via Flickr Creative Commons)
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he does some of the above :)