Some couples fight more than others, but according to Laurie Mintz, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Florida and author of Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. “The goal of the fight is to get closer, to understand each other better, to resolve an issue so you don’t have to face it over and over again.”

But of course, it also depends on how dirty you fight with your man. If you keep hitting him where it hurts (just because you know it will), then you’re not giving your relationship the love and respect it deserves. The next time you feel the urge to fight, keep calm and carry on with these tips.

Never forget who you’re fighting with.
No matter how bad things get, don’t forget about the deep affection you have for your man. Mintz suggests remembering this mantra: “This is a person I love and respect and they probably have a valid point. I need to listen and to find a grain of truth in what they’re saying.” This eliminates the risk of saying things you might regret later on.  

The punishment should fit the crime.
Mad that your man forgot about your dinner plans? Then talk to him about it, but don’t use it as an excuse to harangue him about the last time he “forgot” about meeting your mother for lunch or when he was 45 minutes late to your movie date. Don’t compress all of those forgotten appointments into one gigantic ball of rage that would give him hell every day for the first half of the month either.

Be timely.
Picking a fight when you’ve had a little too much to drink or when he’s stressed out from work isn’t very wise. If you really want to resolve a conflict with your man, choose the right moment. One line Mintz suggests you use: “There’s something I want to talk about, is this a good time?”

Got tips of your own? Let us know in the comments below!

PHOTO: Takmeomeo/Pixabay

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