Clinginess has a pretty negative connotation of not giving your partner any space, so we're running with that. But some people are really just clingy, and sometimes the clinginess is understandable, if not justifiable. (To all you clingy people out there, this doesn't mean you can always use these cards and not annoy your S.O!)
1. When you and your guy haven't seen each other in a while.
LDRs or one of you taking more than a week's worth of vacation is going to make you miss him a lot, especially when you don't have a lot of friends to talk to about really personal things and you're having a rough time back home and going through a crisis. There's no doubt you'll be messaging him in panic about what you should do, or just expressing how much you need and miss him. His presence not only means a lot to you but has become essential in your life. Totally understandable.
2. When you and your guy just fought and you want to make sure you guys will be okay, that you guys are just upset and won't break up.
Guys generally want to be alone in a cave during an argument. Sometimes it's to think about the issue, other times it's to NOT think about it. Most of the time it's so that they won't lash out at you and hurt you and himself more. On your end, though, you want to fix things NOW and be okay NOW, and that means having to talk things out NOW. In this case, you guys are expressing what's best for the relationship in different ways. It might help to be more patient, of course, and to respect him when he's not ready to talk yet. People need to cool down, and that includes you too.
3. You just made up from a big fight and want to relish the closeness you thought you nearly lost for good.
Being clingy and extra affectionate is only natural in this situation, because face it, you're GLAD and RELIEVED that you guys made it through a big, stupid fight. You might even feel this certain kind of "missing" him when you guys weren't in good terms, like you guys weren't just "distant" but very able to get rid of each other if you guys wanted to. And the fact that that could've happened is pretty scary, so there's a part inside you that wants to make sure you and your guy are really okay and happy to be cool again.
4. You haven't had couple time in a while.
So those times you've been seeing your guy, it's with his friends or his family, or with your friends and your family. So obviously you guys can't do heavy PDA or just talk about your personal lives. That's going to make you seek him out more even if he's already there, because he might be physically there, but you guys can't do anything. You guys are in friends mode, not in romantic lovers or horny couples mode. (Which you guys are when you're together. Ugh.)
5. You feel like he doesn't have time for you.
Busy guy? Of course that'll make you want quality time and convos. Because you feel like he doesn't make time for you, it's so easy to miss him and want him, maybe even wonder if he's still into you. Point is, in relationships when one seems kind of ~*blah*~ the other has to pull the strings, stretch her patience, and do whatever that'll make the bond last.
6. When you feel that the relationship is threatened by someone.
Is there someone who's spending a little too much time and attention on your guy? Someone you know is interested in him and wants you out of the picture? You'll show and remind her who's who for sure. Men aren't the only ones who can be "territorial." The thing is, no one wants to feel replaced, and that's what this third party wants to do. Your nature won't let that happen, though. You'll be all over your guy just to prove the point. (And maybe find assurance from him too that he picks you.)
7. When your guy is the first person you've ever been with.
No longer single since birth thanks to this guy you're dating for a month now? GREAT. What a way to show how in love and happy you are by showering your guy with every bit of affection every minute of your life. Hey, you've been saving that love (and lust) for more than two decades.
8. You've been cheated on before.
This is hella damaging and traumatic, and trust issues can surface from here. And once you have trust issues, you'll have a difficult and long time getting over them. (But you can!) In the meantime, you're doubting every word and move of your guy and always seeking validation (but each validation he offers you won't feel enough). You're constantly checking up on him to make sure he won't be like your ex and cheat on you too. You want to spend as much time with him as possible, because that way YOU KNOW FOR SURE that he's not seeing anybody else.
9. Your guy has cheated in the past.
I'm not quite sure if this is worse than #8, but the effect on you can be the same, especially if the cheating was done only recently. How do you know he won't do the same to you, right? Sure he might tell you he loves you, only you, but he's probably spit out that line to the girls he's cheated on before. Sadly, nothing will assure you enough that he's faithful. You just got to trust him. LOL. Easier said than done, right? And that's why you're so clingy.
This story originally appeared on Cosmo.ph.
* Minor edits have been made by the Femalenetwork.com editors.
SCREENCAP: The Pretty One/Provenance Pictures/RCR Pictures (2013)