1. You compare yourself to his ex-girlfriends.
This wouldn’t be complete without the nonstop stalking and the crying and feeling like crap that come with it. You think they’re better than you in every way—prettier, smarter, wilder, sexier, friendlier, more creative, and so on. Comparison being the thief of joy couldn’t be truer.
2. You think of some of his ex-girlfriends when you’re on a date with him.
You know their favorite date places, so you feel uncomfortable when he takes you there. You wonder if he’s thinking of her when he’s there with you and if he’s missing her. Even if your guy and his ex have long been over and you know they didn’t last very long, you can’t help wondering when he thinks of her, and what exactly he thinks of her. They did love each other, after all.
3. The same goes for his almost-girlfriend or girls he dated.
There will be a day when you’ll imagine how he wooed the girls he liked, how he did his best, and how he hoped things would work out between them. Did he court or date them the way he courted and dated you? Did he think you’re more special than they are, or did he just go for you on a whim and you were the idiot who fell for him? How heartbroken was he when things didn’t work out between them?
4. And the girl he lost his virginity to.
It sucks big time when you think of her during sex—was she good in bed? What were their favorite positions? And then you’re not horny anymore. Great.
5. And those casual hook-up girls.
Did he really not enjoy the sex as he said he didn’t, or was he being polite to you? Either way, you imagine it was awesome and you feel a little twinge in your heart.
6. Having to deal with that ex-girlfriend friend.
It’s possible to be friends with an ex, it seems. But it’s just so hard for you as the current girl to be okay with it. Like, are they drinking or smoking buddies? Movie buddies? Too close for comfort!!!
7. When he spends time with a friend you know still has a crush on him.
Knowing your guy’s past includes knowing not just the girls he liked but also those who liked him. And if that someone is a hot female friend/kabarkada whom he hangs out with—*sigh*
8. Boys’ night out makes you paranoid.
Especially when he has a record of wild nights with his fellas. You don’t want him to drive home buzzed (which you think he’ll do) and get into an accident (which almost happened a few times before). You stay up late to wait for him to get home—to make sure he’s safe.
9. You worry about a third party.
Almost every person in a relationship worries about getting cheated on. If your guy has cheated on his exes, well, you have every right to fret. You know what they say about cheaters.
10. You wonder if your guy will fall out of love with you just like *that*.
You know that your guy called it off with some girls because one day he just woke up and stopped liking them. There was no fight, no itch. Nothing could’ve prevented it. And if your guy’s interest is like a switch, he can stop liking you really quick, too.
11. You think your guy isn’t opening up to you as much about certain details anymore because he doesn’t want you to feel bad or worried.
This troubles you because you want your guy to be honest with you and not feel like he has to hide things from you. You want him to feel comfortable with you still, since that’s part of being in a healthy relationship. You tell him he can continue to be open; you’ll just have to deal with your insecurities, and he just has to be patient, make sure to stop doing whatever’s making you feel uncomfortable, and reassure you. (This talk is really important, BTW.)
12. Having to convince yourself that your guy loves you a lot, that you’re the one for him, that he won’t do anything that will hurt you in any way, and that his old self may be different from his current self.
That’s a mouthful. Anyone who’s paranoid and easily gets jealous knows that all the doubt won’t really disappear. It will be there, but it’ll just be in smaller doses—meaning, you’ll be able to shake it off and talk sense into yourself. You’ll get to focus on the present—your amazing guy and the equally amazing you.
This article originally appeared on Cosmo.ph
*Minor edits have been made by the Femalenetwork.com editors
SCREENCAP: How I Met Your Mother/CBS