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Sigh… Another sexual episode transpired, “Was it good for you?” your partner asked, and because you love the person, you’ll say, “Hmmm, yeah, it was great!” But you secretly add, “Gosh, it was not even close. You are not ‘sextisfying’ me!”

A lot of women experience anorgasmia and the sad thing is, they are more than willing to have “non-orgasmic sex” again because they don’t want to hurt their partner.

The dilemma, to tell or not to tell, is maybe as old as Mt. Mayon. Many will opt not to tell to avoid conflict. As a result, the sexual act will be routinary. The poor guy will just continue what he thought is gratifying for you and the unsatisfied girl will be compelled to just get it over and done with. Worse, it may cause suppressed resentment, which may lead to separation.

Why do we have to tell? Because men can be less sensitive of women’s sexual patterns. Not because they have no will, but because they are just unaware. Your genitals are totally dissimilar. So, do you really expect him to master your vagina? Your man might also be inexperienced, tired, or less adventurous. Others just emulate porn because they don’t have any other springboard. When the guy explodes, it’s done! And they can’t even tell if you had orgasm or not.

‘Guide and encourage him. Give him soft moans when you’re enjoying, and react less when you are not’

Also, you have to tell because it is your responsibility to be honest. A sound relationship’s foundation is trust and honesty. Making love issues are as major as faithfulness issues. Not saying it is a sin of omission. Not telling might result to subliminal distaste that will eventually affect your affection for him. You might end up waking up in the morning yearning for another guy.

A number of women just woke up in the morning yearning for another guy.

But surely he will be hurt? Yes I agree, especially guys take pride on their member’s power. Never ever tell him outright, “Hey, you lack sexual technique.” Never ever tell his friends or your friends that he sucked in bed. One way of dealing with this is to guide and encourage him but still giving him the total control over you. Give him soft moans when you’re enjoying, and react less when you are not. For example, you can moan, stroke John Smith when you’re liking it, and stop when you’re uncomfy. Lead his fingers to your sensitive spots. Proactively assume the position that you want. Say, “there,” “slowly,” “deeper,” “faster,” “don’t stop,” and “yes” (with full honesty). He might not get it immediately, but your efforts will have its rewards.

‘The unsatisfied girl will be compelled to make love just to get it over and done with, which may cause suppressed resentment, and in turn, may lead to separation’

If you don’t wanna tell him, here’s one point of reflection. What if he does not enjoy making love with you, but does not want to hurt your feelings as well. And because he’s not telling, he will just sublimate his sexual desires to another person. So, what now is your mental reservation?

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