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Being a single girl who hears more than her fair share of marital infidelity stories, I cannot help but be a tad jaded about marriage. Friends and acquaintances come to me asking for advice on how they can get back at their cheating husbands or end their unhappy marriages. In true cynic form, I tell a few select heartbroken wives who have put up with the most brazen and hurtful of cheating husbands, that refusing to end the marriage is “sometimes” (and I mean it when I say only “sometimes”) the best revenge.

Too many people choose to end their marriage by jointly agreeing to seek a petition for the declaration of nullity of their marriage. If the petition is granted, the marriage ties are severed and both parties can begin living separate lives. Of course, this also means that the philandering husband can begin openly living with their significant other, marry her if he wants, have legitimate children by her, and own properties with her. On the other hand, the jilted wife, who has given the best years of her life to her cheating husband and who vows to never again remarry, is left without future marital support or participation in any wealth that the ex-husband may earn. Under these circumstances, the declaration of nullity of marriage may not bring the peace of mind, closure, and satisfaction that the wife had hoped for, but rather, may only give the cheating husband an opportunity to legitimize what would otherwise be a “sleazy” affair. Why not consider getting a legal separation instead?

In a legal separation, you remain married to your husband, but you are no longer obligated to stay under the same roof. Your properties will be divided between you, with the innocent spouse having an advantage in the sharing. Except in exceptional cases, the innocent spouse automatically gets custody of the common children. The innocent spouse will still inherit from the guilty spouse, but not vise versa. And if the cheating husband decides to live with his girlfriend under one roof, you can still file a criminal case for concubinage against both of them. After all, you are still husband and wife.

Like I said in my earlier caveat, I do not recommend this route to everyone. Some women still have it in their hearts to find a new love and would like the option of remarrying that special someone. Others would like closure by giving the other complete freedom, not matter what the cost of that freedom is. In these instances, if you have grounds for the declaration of nullity of your marriage, by all means pursue that and I wish you the best of luck. But as the cynical person that I can be sometimes, I like to give the wife a little nudge into the direction that, maybe, she’d get your best revenge by being the one and only legal wife that her husband will ever have.

‘In a legal separation, you remain married to your husband, but you are no longer obligated to stay under the same roof’

Just food for thought.

Atty. Tetta H. Dizon is a Senior Associate at Suarez and Narvasa Law Firm, contact her at 810-9217 to 18, or 810-4880. Suarez and Narvasa Law Firm is located at 3rd Floor CSJ Building, 105 Aguirre Street, Legaspi Village, Makati City.

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