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It is a common fact that more than 50 percent of women cannot achieve orgasm for varied reasons. We need to qualify this. Is it really inhibited orgasm, wherein there is delay or absence of orgasm following a normal sexual excitement—meaning you are excited, sex is intense, and you are wet but failed to reach the finish line? Or, is it a case wherein you can’t even attain or maintain the lubrication-swelling phase, meaning you can’t even be aroused? The former is called anorgasmia while the latter is a form of sexual arousal disorder.

When we talk of anorgasmia, it is more of fear of letting go and exploding. This may be due to guilt following a pleasurable experience, or the fear of abandoning oneself to a pleasurable situation. On the other hand, arousal disorder for most cases is due to the de-synchronization of will and motivation. For example, in a perfect world, you would love to submit to your husband’s desire, but you are not fully interested in coitus because you’re bored, stressed, or you have lack of interest. As a result, the sexual apparatus fails to lubricate despite adequate sexual stimulation. The worst scenario is, your partner continues to touch you and completed his sexual activity, yet there you are still very dry. Just imagine how painful that is for your vagina and psyche.

Never ever continue intercourse if you have sexual apathy.

If this happens, this needs to be addressed immediately before it affects the relationship. Never ever continue intercourse if you have sexual apathy. It is not good for the relationship and for the body. The solution should be directed to the root cause. You have to talk and exert effort in removing or alleviating the underlying issues like marital conflict, professional jealousy, boredom, and issues of infidelity, among others. And when you talk, it should be done with genuine love. Both parties should be tactful and sensitive.

Resolving your personal hang-ups will also help. According to studies, arousal problems are impacted by childhood experiences.

If there are no physical aberrations, you can do non-genital pleasuring first, like do ordinary things that are non-sexual but still please you and your partner. Shopping for shoes, buying your partner’s favorite food or washing his car can count as such activities. Then when the mood is set, do genital pleasuring until you get wet and fully lubricated. Hopefully it leads to a love consummation.

**The models pictured in FemaleNetwork.com are used for illustrative purposes only; FemaleNetwork.com does not suggest that the models actually engage in the conduct discussed in the stories they illustrate.