“It’s like meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife,” goes Alanis Morisette’s Ironic.While there are still cases of women being duped into entering a relationship with married men, there also seems to be an increasing number of single women dating men whom they know are married.
Single women may have a dozen reasons for dating married men, and one of these is their need for attention and affection—which seems to be met by married men who bring on the charm when they try extra hard to win the affection of singletons. As the article “The Seduction of a Married Man” by Susan Sheppard reads, “The more she says no, the more aggressive and charming and attentive he gets. This is the ultimate male challenge, to win over a woman who is saying no even though he knows she really is attracted to him.”
While a lot of single women enjoy the perks of loving and being loved by married men, they need to be reminded of certain realities for “the other woman,” which Associatedcontent.com listed in this article by JR Lewis.
1. Expect all holidays to be spent alone. The man you are committed to is committed first to his actual family.
2. Expect your family and close friends to not know him. To introduce a married man to them would be simply unacceptable. You’re also likely to shy away from close friends, for fear of being judged. If you do decide to tell your friends about your man, chances are your discussions will usually end up in heated arguments. Your friends probably can’t bear the thought of you being a “querida.”
Anyone who takes a ring off once can do it again.
3. Expect you will always be second fiddle. If you have a need or desire, it might be addressed, or it might not. It depends on how easy it is to fix or satisfy. If it is something easy like sex, which he benefits from as well, it might be taken care of; if it is something important, maybe not. Remember, you are “number two.” Only number one has highest priority.
4. Expect to have lonely nights, lonely days, and lonely in-betweens. He will not be there to hold you, he is holding his wife. He will not be there to talk to; he is busy talking to his wife. He will not be playing with your children; he is busy playing with his own. Love isolation? Get used to it. You are on your own.
5. Expect he will always be looking at others. His roving eyes caught you; he will grow bored with you, too. You weren't the first, you won't be the last. He will not be faithful. Why should he be? Anyone who takes a ring off once can do it again.
6. Expect heartbreak. Either he will not leave his wife or he may eventually replace you for a younger, prettier model. And we all know there will always be someone younger and prettier.
If you are seeing a married man and you are reading this, consider how you would feel if you marry a man who later starts charming someone else. FN readers who have friends in this situation: please do share this with them.
2 Comments
Add Commentbrewdiana
yes,being number two is unacceptable...you will be ruining not just one life but more!
September 10, 2008 at 7:02 amimay
you'll end up on the losing side...
September 10, 2008 at 11:34 am