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Reasons a guy disappears on you

Aug 10, 2008 by FN's Trixie Reyna

guydisappears.jpgEverything was going so perfectly: the guy you like asks you out; you go on a fantastic date; he asks you out two or three more times; he seems to be really into you; you take things a little further. The next day, he’s gone. Without so much as an excuse or an explanation. How upsetting is that?

Before you tear your hair out figuring out what went wrong (and blaming yourself for that matter), realize that this might actually be the best way to go. Remember the adage “What you don’t know won’t hurt you?” The article "Why men go poof" cites one of the reasons a man disappears on you: he probably just wants to spare your feelings by not telling you what’s really on his mind—which could be along the lines of “You’re a great woman but there is no chemistry between us,” “I’m looking for casual dating and it seems you want more,” or “I just wanted a booty call.” You wouldn’t want it if he ever told you that to your face, right? He’s also probably just avoiding the drama that would ensue if he ever does.

A male-point-of-view article on MarieClaire.com cited six other reasons why a guy would inexplicably stop seeing and communicating with you. Learn from these and move on. You’re probably better off without him anyway.

1. He’s chasing someone else. Men love the chase. Some even enjoy just the chase. So if he suddenly lost interest after you’ve gone out, you know he’s found another prey. Don’t take it personally.

2. He’s focused on everything but love. It could be his family, the rent he has to pay, his upcoming promotion or trouble with his boss. While your few dates may have been amazing at some point, it might have been a temporary thing to distract him from the other things going on in his life.

3. You’re a friend. The author warns women that sometimes men can’t tell when we’re interested in them. Romance can complicate friendships, and since guys value friendships as much as women do, they are always wary of elevating things to a more serious level.

4. He thinks you’re too serious. If he’s not ready to take the relationship seriously (and by this we also mean making it exclusive) then it’s not going to work. If he thinks you’re “too serious” for him, then you’re better off without him: it wasn’t clicking at the right time.

5. His damned sidekick. Guys love to have partners in crime. And if his best buddy is still playing the field and partying hard, it will still be very hard for him to pull himself away from it all.

6. He’s into one of your friends. If a guy you like happens to like one of your friends, naturally he’s going to try to get to her by being with you. This can be very misleading for you, and while usually it works itself out pretty quickly, we hope this never happens to you. Never risk your friendships for any romantic prospects.

So if you find that a once so persistent guy suddenly stops seeing or talking to you, he is most likely doing so for one of the reasons above. Spare yourself the time and trouble of finding out what went wrong. He’s probably not worth it. The right guy for you will never leave you wondering about such things.

Have you ever had a similar experience or know of reasons men disappear on women? Share it with us!

Image by Free-StockPhotos.com

12 Comments

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  • cweesy

    because the world is probably telling you that he's an @$$hole who doesn't deserve you

    August 12, 2008 at 1:19 am
  • princessbabymarian

    if he's gone

    August 12, 2008 at 3:32 am
  • princessbabymarian

    if he's gone

    August 12, 2008 at 4:17 am
  • dell

    "it takes two to tango"... don't forget

    August 13, 2008 at 9:35 pm
  • purple_haze17

    guys like that are wimps or total jerks.

    August 14, 2008 at 9:50 am
  • no_one_owns_me

    u can't undrsatnd what they want.

    August 15, 2008 at 10:03 am
  • punkrockprincess

    thank you for this nice article. :) to be honest, i'm quite hesitant to date guys since i'm afraid that i might not hear from them again. after reading this, i have convinced myself that it's not really worth the trouble thinking about it. i just don't want to be asked by my friends the next day or the following days how the date went and if there's another one soon..

    August 25, 2008 at 8:21 pm
  • FN_Trixie

    Glad you found the article helpful, punkrockprincess. :) That's just what we hope to make our soul sisters realize: that we shouldn't be wasting our time thinking about guys who don't treat us the way we deserve. Hope you'll also find the other articles as useful. :)

    August 25, 2008 at 9:50 pm
  • bloodymaria

    we had a fight...and he is not man enough to face such shortcoming...instead, he choose to disappear without prior notice nor a text...in the end, he ask for forgiveness and want to bring back the relationship we had...what the hell!

    September 26, 2008 at 4:31 am
  • momof1

    that happened to me years ago when I was single. Really had a hard time getting over coz you don't even know the reason why. But honestly, I've never been so glad that that happened coz I know I definitely chose the right one--my hubby of 10 years.

    October 5, 2008 at 12:02 am
  • kadiee

    well that happened to me just recently. like 2weeks ago. and it was just confirmed that we're really over because of what happened yesterday. i don't even have nay idea why, but everything's a bit clear now, i don't deserve a jerk like him, and a guy who doesn't have any B**LS to face me.

    October 25, 2008 at 7:34 pm
  • sobrasaganda

    my bf for did it to me. i havent seen him since january up to this time tx and call lang siya di ko pnapansin ok lang siya sorry d ako mati

    October 27, 2008 at 8:08 pm

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