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Can you ask the girl beside you if she touches herself? Yes, ask if she masturbates, now! Bet you cannot, what about you? Do you? Or can you? And even if you can, can you talk about it openly? Well, I’m not forcing you to touch yourself but let me just tell you that it is amoral. Meaning, it can go both ways, it can do you good or it can have negative effects.

Let’s start with the definition. Masturbation is self-stimulation of genitals that brings sexual sensation and eventually orgasm. Touching yourself is actually making love with yourself. Remember the maxim that you can only love others fully if you love yourself. So if you have feeling of inadequacies or sexual disturbance, how can you resolve or give yourself to others and have a blissful lovemaking? Masturbation is healthy and can help you have a better sex life. But of course, a word of caution, you should never in anyway be fixated with your own fingers-it will not only erase your fingerprints but will also alienate your partner.

‘If you are okay with masturbation, you can actually surprise your partner by touching yourself in front of him’

Furthermore, touching yourself can be pleasurable, relaxing and therapeutic. Just like massage, it can have stroke varieties. It can be soft or hard, circular or with deep pressure. All of these motion combos can be done to achieve body satisfaction. It can also be basic or advanced. Aside from the pleasure that it brings, it can help you locate your erogenous zones, G-spot, and the maneuvers that makes you moan and forget your name. Once you know it, you can share it to your partner, thus having higher chances of mind-blowing sex.

Now if you are okay with masturbation and you do not have any second thoughts, you can actually surprise your partner by touching yourself in front of him. Of course you need to discern first if he will like it or will he freak out and run. But for most guys, they love it. Maybe when you are running out of sexual positions, try parallel play. It is very sexy. Both of you can also do mutual masturbation.

‘Masturbation is healthy and can help you have a better sex life’

If you want to experience this, just get yourself in the mood for doing it. Relax, lock the door, and have your sister send your puppy to the park first. Find a comfortable position, undress and feel sexy. Then fantasize and imagine. It can be the last porn you’ve seen, a sex magazine, Manolo pumps, or your hottest sexual encounter. Slowly touch yourself, explore your body parts. Touch yourself with one or two fingers with different pressure, motion, speed and intensity. Timing is important. Change phase, change hands. Breath deeply and fantasize some more till it heightens your excitement. And remember, your ring finger is a preferable since it’s powerful but gentle. In your first few instances, you might not reach the zenith, but believe me, practice makes perfect.

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