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It hurts when I'm having sex...

Apr 15, 2008 by Dr. Majoe Juan Badiola

Dyspareunia"It hurts everytime I am having sex." A number of females experience Dyspareunia or painful coitus. Come on, sexual intercourse is suppose to be enjoyable not agonizing. Just imagine your face experiencing pain while having sex—isn’t it funny?

One possible cause is you are assuming the same sexual position or maneuver almost always. This might have caused trauma to the same area of your sexual apparatus. There might be unchecked lesions within the sexual area. It can also be a result of sexually transmitted diseases, swollen hymenal remains, bladder disturbance, and many more. It is very important that women should undergo examination once sex is painful.

Furthermore, perhaps you are not yet ready to have coitus. For example, there’s is not enough lubrication. It is understandable that women have the tendency to be over desirous of love consummation to please their husband, boyfriends, or lovers. Sometimes, the mind is willing but physiologically the vagina is still sleeping. Take time to condition both mind and body: foreplay, dirty talks, porn - whatever works for you.

Another possible reason is fear. This fear might be due to painful attempts before. Many women have painful experiences during their first few intercourse. The body remembers pain and became less welcoming. Since it is a negative experience, there might be a lack of sexual desire, subliminally.

Lastly, it will be painful if you are unhappy. Not being happy will lead to actual dislike of the sexual act, or dyspareunia will be a merely defense mechanism to avoid sex.

‘Sometimes, the mind is willing but physiologically the vagina is still sleeping’

You have to tell your partner that you are experiencing pain everytime. Both of you should deal with it. If there are no evident physical aberrations, take time to contemplate about your relationship. Do we have unresolved issues? Am I really happy? If not, talk, resolve, and have a good 8-hour kiss and make up sex without pain. Remember, making love is not only to be endured, but also be enjoyed.

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