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There has been this long-standing question: Would you go with the one you love or the one who loves you? It can be more difficult than a board exam question but that’s just how it goes; life sometimes throws a joke on us, and the difficult part is how we have to make a stand.

Now here is another eternal puzzle: if you only have one option, would you stay in a relationship that has great sex but less love or in a partnership with pure love yet sex is bad? You might say this question is a no-brainer. It’s easy to say you’ll choose a relationship with greater love over sex; yet let’s still try to see both sides of the coin.

Believe me, it will burn you big time to sleep every night with a guy who is “Microsoft” (micro and soft) or with a partner that can never bring your sail to the harbor. You’ll only end up resorting to porn flicks or fantasizing about your ex who happens to be a jerk yet is gifted with a really nice, huge member. If your man cannot satisfy your needs in bed, you end up hanging out with friends too often, all the while pretending that all is good, including the humping. But if you remain unable to resolve this issue, the relationship will eventually crumble; it is in fact one of the grounds for annulment or divorce.

On the other hand, what if sex is heavenly but you remain just that: a fuck buddy with no commitment to hold on to, with nothing more than a smoke and shower after sex? Would you settle for this kind of situation? The good thing about this is you’ll have a lot of happy hormones, making your immune system more efficient. There are also no emotional attachments, allowing you to have more with another person, if you wanted to. Yet the downside is quite harsh: you’ll feel like a big slut, used and misused. And there will be a time when you’ll finally get satiated.

Sex alone would only make you lonely, while love without great sex would leave you quick-tempered and rose petal-dry. Love and sex should go together; it should co-exist and complement each other. If one is missing, the couple should strive to obtain both. It’s always better if the relationship is founded on true love: love that is less of a concept and more of a decision and passion that springs from within.

Humans have a hierarchy of needs. If one need is unsatisfied, you will get fixated. No matter how hard you try to move further, your unsatisfied needs will haunt you. So it is your job to pursue love, then real making love, and finally nirvana.

Photo courtesy of Cosmopolitan Philippines. The models pictured in FemaleNetwork.com are used for illustrative purposes only; FemaleNetwork.com does not suggest that the models actually engage in the conduct discussed in the stories they illustrate.