Imagine that you’re engaged. You can’t stop admiring your ring every 10 seconds. You happily practice the loops and swirls of your would-be signature for the Nth time. To you (and you alone), Tom Cruise couldn’t hold a candle to your groom.
Then it happens. Tom Cruise grows fangs and asks you to sign a “pre-nup”.
Your world swirls. Your heart sinks to your knees. You feel Lestat’s fangs sucking your life blood and all you can do to gain control is to raspily say, “Whhhaattt?”
Now stop imagining. Take a deep breath. And let’s talk pre-nups.
Pre-nuptial agreements need not be an offensive topic if both parties are open-minded and rational. A pre-nup is not a scarlet letter that brands you, nor is it a time bomb waiting to explode. In this day and age when women are just as empowered and successful as men, a pre-nup can even be more beneficial to the woman than to the man. It’s like a safety net or a financial escape clause that you wish you never have to use, but will be glad to have anyway if the need arises.
To cite an example of love and pre-nups co-existing, Kiko Pangilinan once displayed his unconditional love for Sharon Cuneta by offering to sign a pre-nup before they married. To me, that was sheer modern day gallantry at its best.
As a lawyer, I’ve noticed that some of the clients who seek advise from us on their marital problems could have avoided them altogether had their finances and properties been “signed, sealed, and delivered” even before entering into marriage. Of course timing is everything. It’s a foolish man who broaches the topic of a pre-nup for the first time to a bride in the throes of a full-blown wedding fever. Hopefully, the sensitivities of the couple have already been discussed before the engagement so the details of the pre-nup can be handled in a level-headed manner. A pre-nup need not spell out in minute detail which property goes to whom if you don’t want it to. For instance, it can be as simple and equitable, as saying: “Everything that I have before I marry you, will remain mine in the unlikely event that we separate. But everything that we acquire while we are married will be equally shared by us.” Now that’s not so bad, is it?
If you feel that you would benefit from a pre-nup, talk to your partner and get his ideas on what would be a good arrangement. Show your love to your partner by being fair. Keep an open mind (and quell the urge to scream). Engage a good lawyer to sensitively handle the preparation of the agreement and make sure that both of you understand the fine print before signing. Remember that with the right intentions, love and pre-nups can peacefully co-exist.
Then take a deep breath, cross your fingers, and live the rest of your married life with one less thing to worry about.
Atty. Tetta H. Dizon is a Senior Associate at Suarez and Narvasa Law Firm, contact her at 810-9217 to 18, or 810-4880. Suarez and Narvasa Law Firm is located at 3rd Floor CSJ Building, 105 Aguirre Street, Legaspi Village, Makati City.
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