It was DVD night with my friends Sab and Kraken over a few cold beers and a ginormous bot of Asti (enough to put a little giggly-bubbly to an Ehtiopian village to help put their hunger woes on temporary leave). Flick du jour was Juno, charming little indie with a big voice and a smart yarn. Set in some backwater town, it’s about a stoic 16-year-old girl who gets preggo after sex with the besty one boring afternoon.
Grunge in clothing taste and old-school 70s rock in music preferences, the girl dishes them one-liners from a self-made lexicon you wish you’d come with. t’s hopelessly razor-sharp and quick-witted in terms of dialogue, and characters were quirky and nuanced but relatable. Full on with the hyuks.
Anyway, last Saturday was all about Super Shteadiness. My kind of fun. Capital weekend, I’d say! Topnotch!
So there. Anyway, here, a few quotes from the flick, before some other usurps it of its place in my memory:
Rollo: That ain’t no Etch A Sketch. This is one doodle that can’t be undid, Homeskillet.
Rollo: You better pay for that pee-stick when you’re done with it. Don’t think it’s your’s just because you marked it with your urine!
Juno: They have ads for parents?
Leah: Yeah! Desperately seeking spawn.
Leah: Yo yo yoiggady yo.
Juno: I’m pregnant.
Leah: What? Honest to blog?
Juno: Yeah. It’s Bleeker’s.
Leah: It’s probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?
Juno: This is not a food baby all right? I’ve taken like three pregnancy tests, and I’m forshizz up the spout.
Leah: How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests?
Mac MacGuff: Did you see that coming when she sat us down here?
Bren MacGuff: Yeah, but I was hoping she was expelled or into hard drugs.
Mac MacGuff: That was my first instinct too. Or a D.W.I. Anything but this.
Vanessa: Hi! I’m Vanessa, you must be Juno, Mr. MacGuff, hi. Vanessa.
Juno: It’s, uh, Vanessa right? Is that–
Mac MacGuff: Thanks for having me and my irresponsible daughter over to your house.
Juno: Oh wicked pic in the Pennysaver by the way. Super classy, not like those people with fake woods in the background. Honestly, who do they think they’re fooling?
Vanessa: You found us in the Pennysaver?
Juno: If I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would, but I’m guessing it looks probably like a sea-monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.
Vanessa: That’s great.
Mark: Keep it in the oven.
Mac MacGuff: Are you having boy trouble because I gotta be honest I don’t really much approve of you dating in your condition. That’s, uh, that’s kinda messed up.
Juno: No, Dad, it’s not–
Mac MacGuff: I mean that’s pretty skanky. Isn’t that what you girls call it? Skanky? Skeevy?
Juno: Please stop.
Mac MacGuff: Tore up from the floor up?
Juno: You shoulda gone to China. You know, ’cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.
Paulie: Like I’d marry you, you’d be the meanest wife ever ok? And I know that you weren’t bored that day. Because there was a lot of stuff on tv and The Blair Witch Project was coming on Stars and you were like, “I haven’t seen this since it came out and so we should watch it,” but oh no we should just make out instead la la la...
Vanessa: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno: Nah. I mean I’m already pregnant so what other kind of shenanigans can I get into?
Leah: Woah check out baby big head. That thing is freaky looking.
Juno: Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you’ve got in your stomach is Taco Bell.
Juno: Well, you know, I was thinking I’d just nip it in the bud, before it gets worse, because they were talking about it in health class, how pregnancy, it can often lead to… an infant.
Juno: Can’t we just like kick this old school. You know, like I stick the baby in a basket, send it your way, like Moses and the reeds?
[and my personal fave]
Juno: You’re like… the coolest person I’ve ever met and you don’t even have to try.
Paulie: I try really hard actually.
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