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The Golden Ewan

Jan 14, 2008 by FN Blogger Faye Ilogon

compassposter.jpgLate last year, I received a barrage of text messages and email cautioning me against watching The Golden Compass because it was evil and going off to see it would only guarantee me a spot in hell. Or something to that effect. Naturally, this made me more curious about the movie. Then again, I was low on cash and couldn’t go off to see the film that would supposedly scar what’s left of my soul. (I’m afraid I already lost most of it when I collected about two dozen hardcore porn books way back in college.)

So, last weekend, I chanced upon a copy of The Golden Compass at my favorite DVD pirate stall somewhere in Quezon City. Aside from its evil implications, I bought the DVD because I am one of about 14 Filipinas who find Daniel Craig hot (for some reason very few Pinays see his appeal...but I don’t care). But, alas, it seems that the only Daniel Craig movies that make him seem extra-sexy to me are those that feature guns like Layer Cake, Casino Royale, and Munich.

The Golden Compass, to say the least, was anything but evil. Sue me for missing the symbolic stuff. I’m much too tired to analyze movies these days.

The darn movie didn’t have ample Daniel Craig screen time to keep me awake—although it did feature a lot of magical elements, cute talking animals (I love the polar bear in armor!), gadgets (The metallic spy insect and the truth compass were cool!) and precocious English kids. To tell you the truth, I fell asleep while watching the darn movie and trying to figure out its unspeakably evil message.

What was so evil about the movie? Er, nothing really. Except I can never take back the 35 minutes I spent trying to understand it. But, hey, Nicole Kidman’s hairdo in the flick looked really nice, too.

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