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Spoiler alert!

For a movie with so much promise, for one that was supposed to be an awe-inspiring adventure, 10,000 BC was, to be honest, kind of dragging. (I was tempted to name this post "10,000 B-Zzzz" but it wasn’t that bad.)

In a nutshell: A group of bad guys attacks a tribe, enslaves a bunch of the tribespeople, including a pretty blue-eyed chick, who happens to be the object of the lead character’s affections. Lead character goes off on a quest to save said chick, picking up some supporters along the way. They follow the kidnapped peeps all the way to the end of the world, where a civilization with a pseudo-god uses the conquered people to build pyramids and temples. I think you can pretty much guess how this ends.

It was DVD night with my friends Sab and Kraken over a few cold beers and a ginormous bot of Asti (enough to put a little giggly-bubbly to an Ehtiopian village to help put their hunger woes on temporary leave). Flick du jour was Juno, charming little indie with a big voice and a smart yarn. Set in some backwater town, it’s about a stoic 16-year-old girl who gets preggo after sex with the besty one boring afternoon.

Grunge in clothing taste and old-school 70s rock in music preferences, the girl dishes them one-liners from a self-made lexicon you wish you’d come with. t’s hopelessly razor-sharp and quick-witted in terms of dialogue, and characters were quirky and nuanced but relatable. Full on with the hyuks.

Late last year, I received a barrage of text messages and email cautioning me against watching The Golden Compass because it was evil and going off to see it would only guarantee me a spot in hell. Or something to that effect. Naturally, this made me more curious about the movie. Then again, I was low on cash and couldn’t go off to see the film that would supposedly scar what’s left of my soul. (I’m afraid I already lost most of it when I collected about two dozen hardcore porn books way back in college.)

So, last weekend, I chanced upon a copy of The Golden Compass at my favorite DVD pirate stall somewhere in Quezon City. Aside from its evil implications, I bought the DVD because I am one of about 14 Filipinas who find Daniel Craig hot (for some reason very few Pinays see his appeal...but I don’t care). But, alas, it seems that the only Daniel Craig movies that make him seem extra-sexy to me are those that feature guns like Layer Cake, Casino Royale, and Munich.