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Author Topic: Is it really platonic?  (Read 805 times)

ducky

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Is it really platonic?
« on: November 06, 2012, 12:39:18 AM »
When Bf and i became a couple, his GBF (girl best fried)was the first to know. She texted my bf that she wanted to meet me, "kilatis" was the word she used ..with matching " i love you bestfriend! xoxo"-  that alone made me uncomfy. Seriously, i have a BBF (boy best friend) and i dare not say those words whether were both single or not, plus, out of respect to all of my BBF gfs, i lay low. Meaning, i dont text or call nor see each other unless its urgent or may occasion. He does the same thing to me when in a relationship. But hey, it didn't want to put any malice that time.

Back to the story, the first time i met GBF - she was pleasant naman althou not really warm,. she came with a girl friend. In the middle of dinner, she excused herself to go to the washroom and after a few minutes, the friend followed her. Almost 1 hour had past, hindi pa rin bumalik. Worried, bf asked me to checked on the girls. When i opened the washroom, there she was crying her heart out. They said it has something to do with her recent breakup with ther ex.
OK FINE. BF and GBF were still talking while making our way to the parking lot. Mas naging friend ko pa the girlfriend ni GBF , we exchanged numbers and already made plans to do our nails together. GBF made beso and said goodbye to my bf, ako ni ha ni ho wala. I took it that maybe she was that depressed, lost or lucid.

The second encounter was worse. Their group had this mini get together. I begged my bf not to take me, i wasnt really in the party mood but he insisted that he wanted me to meet his other friends. So during the party, bf and gbf had this "im depressed about my lovelife session", i was there, listening and trying to give advise to her as well. But i was sleepy, tired and tipsy to stand. So i requested to sit down and wait for them to finish, plus GBf might not feel comfy telling her problems with me around. It took them almost 2 hours.i was left there all alone and i couldnt see them from where i was sitting. On top of them, before i left them - they were touchy feely like akbay, clasp ng kamay. Initiated by both parties. (ok given that they are close friends and a bit drunk i still felt disrespected). You probably have an idea how our night ended.
My bf kept apologizing for what happened. He gave me all the usual "platonic girl boy reason" hindi ko siya gusto, hindi ako attracted...if i wanted her the i should have courted her, etc.

I forgave him. I just felt that it was too callous and insensitive for these people not to notice. I know that their group have been relentlessly teasing BF and GBf together prior to us dating,  touchy feely na sila even sa pictures sa facebook. To settle the issue, Little did i know that bf texted GBF to stop texting or lessen the communication.

On succeeding meetings, hindi na talaga kame nagpapansinan ni GBF, even her friends avoided me. Eventually bf admitted that he texted her about avoiding her.

I dont know if she is mad at me because she felt that i asked bf to do that, which i never did. All i asked was for them to take one step back because i wasnt comfy with the "closeness" they had. or is she mad at BF because he had to chose between me and her?

Did i ruined the so-called platonic relationship?


« Last Edit: November 06, 2012, 12:43:02 AM by ducky »

rianne_mallows

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Re: Is it really platonic?
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2012, 11:48:10 AM »
err, too many issues.. lots of hang-ups..  i'd say leave while you still can

this situation is a lot worse than having monster in-laws..  :P


so i'd say, if he cant dump EVERYTHING for me then he's not worthy.

hindi naman ako masamang tao
sadyang kapag nasasabi ako ng totoo
tumatama at tumatagos sa pagkatao mo

ducky

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Re: Is it really platonic?
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2012, 12:14:12 PM »
@amethyst028: they've been friends since grade school. Althou they started hanging out more 2 years before we dated. I have nothing against the friendship. I'm not really the jealous type, i just didn't like the idea of being touchy feely and the iloveyou's. do those things when you're both unattached.

Bf wanted to avoid her during meetup with friends para hindi na maulit last incident. We were having drinks with friends when somebody chimed in "o kiss naman si BF and GBF" wow. I wanted to die. Its not their fault but as a gf, i was really hurt.

@rianne_mallows: LOL. Yes, that was an option but looking at it, he did sacrifice the friendship. I would have wanted to be friends with the GBF but damage has been done.
« Last Edit: November 06, 2012, 12:18:50 PM by ducky »

rianne_mallows

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Re: Is it really platonic?
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2012, 12:25:54 PM »
if he had dumped her already then good for you :)
sana lang wala ng churcy churvy sa future ;D
hindi naman ako masamang tao
sadyang kapag nasasabi ako ng totoo
tumatama at tumatagos sa pagkatao mo

momentum

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Re: Is it really platonic?
« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2012, 12:39:05 PM »
aww sis ducky, i can somehow feel what you feel :(

mejo insensitive nga si bf..he  should know what lines not to cross, lalo na you're both a couple. kahit na they have been friends since gradeschool, iba parin dating sayo, it still doesn't look and feel right somehow. he should be sensitive to know about this things, if he really cared for you, especially how you would feel. eh kung siya kaya makaexperience na you be touchy touchy with your bff and exchange iloveyous etc, what would he feel?

he should try to put himself in your shoes, and asses kung may malisya nga or wala sa kanya if you do that to him. baka dun maramdaman niya and somehow see your side. as for the gbf, well mejo insecure/immature naman na suddenly iniiwasan ka na niya that way and as well as her friends. ni ha ni ho. eh kung ako naman siya and plainly friendship lang kami talaga ng bf mo, i would approach you and sincerely apologize  if I became insensitive sa mga ngyari na yun and reassure you na it won't happen again and I respect you and your relationship with him and wouldn't want to inflict issues like this..i would also reassure you nothing is going on nor ever will be between him and I and I'll keep my distance in a safe spot na okay for everyone


i mean, if mahalaga sayo yung friendship mo with your guy bestfriend, and IF you are TRULY a friend, you would not do any harm or inflict issues/friction sa relationship niya with his gf. kung saan siya masaya, susuportahan mo. but if iba motive mo, or you're just plain selfish, yun na, lumalabas yung insensitivity and you don't care kung ano ginagawa mo basta magawa mo lang gusto mo
« Last Edit: November 06, 2012, 12:53:56 PM by momentum »
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