A player will always be a player?????

[mimiku]

I've been single for almost 4 years now. For the past years I didn't enter into a relationship since my last one ended so bad, it got me too traumatized to the marrow of my bone. At the same time, I am annoyed and frustrated that I couldn't seem to find a decent guy because ALMOST all of the guys who courted me for the past years are either married or committed. Ewan ko ba, it seemed super endangered na talaga ang mga matitinong lalaki sa mundo. Of course, I never entertained or give them any hope. Lumalayo ako ng kusa sa kanila. My ex cheated on me a few years ago and left a deep fear sa subconscious ko. And I have this principle na huwag pumatol talaga sa may asawa or gf na.

Just when I am about to give up on love, I met someone, and for the first time in years, I felt the rush of falling in love again. Nafeel ko talaga na spark kami. Just recently became single siya, may itsura at maabilidad. Pero the catch is winarningan ako ng mga kaibigan ko. Sabi nila babaero daw at di mapagkakatiwalaan. I believe them naman. Kasi barkada nila eh. They know him well. Moreover, according to my friend, his relationship with his last gf went bad because of his womanizing tendencies. Though I just couldn't understand lang na bakit hangang ngayon humahabol pa rin yung ex niya sa kanya.

I believe naman that my friends just want what is best for me and of course they are just trying to protect me from another heartbreak.

Kaso, hindi talaga paawat ang puso ko. Kahit na super opposite kami, I find myself drawn to him. I think about him all the time. Gusto ko magtake ng risk pero sabi nila hindi mo daw pwedeng mapagbabago ang isang player. A player will always be a player. Natatakot na akong magkamali ulit. Ano ang pwede kong gawin? Should I take the risk or should I let him go?

Thank you so much for reading this. Hoping for your advice.

[aquacharly]

Life, and relationships , unfold like an onion -- by layers. 
You don't get from Pt.A to Pt.Z without going through some letters.  Maybe not all letters in between -- but definitely, some letters in between.

What am I trying to  say?

1st -- let's take a look at that Player.
Is it possible for a Player to reform? Sure,anything is possible.  But it isn't practical to hold your breathe for what's just a Possibility.
His Ex is still running after him? You find that somehow erases his rep as a skirt chaser?  Really, now.
SEE him for what he is.  Even scorpions can be captured, at no harm -- but you never see it as anything but a scorpion. 

2nd --  "KASO HINDI TALAGA PAAWAT ANG PUSO KO."
There you go, Girl.  Even if ihilera all your family, friends, and barangay-mates with a huge NO sign --  you will go ahead put yourself in his path.  So, be honest with yourself. 

3rd --   NATATAKOT NA AKONG MAGKAMALI ULIT.
Nothing you can do can guarantee he won't hurt you.....BUT

BUT you can calibrate the pace/degree of your falling in love with him.
From A to Z nga.
That is what  courtship is all about -- the gradual getting to know you, the gradual osmosis
Give both of you the time & chance to assess each other.

Sabi nga, , in another thread --  love/marriage/a relationship -- is a gamble.
No guarantees, really.
So, you gotta gamble only so much of yourself -- sugal nga  eh, so  baket mo itataya lahat?
Always leave enough so you can walk away & resume/restart your life.

What am I trying to say ba?!
Don't be scared & pickle your life away -- aasim ka lang.
Go try this guy out --  keep  your eyes open, your head working, while your heart palpitates -- doable!
But IMO, do not let him call the shots or set the pace.
Players are reined in by busting/playing their balls.  No, I am not being literal & bastos.  Think it out.
If, between Pts A & Z you feel you are being used/your self respect compromised/he is a player still --  just step out of the alphabet.  You should mind that you never ever ever ever get to that point you believe you have No Choice but to have a frog in your life.  Kokak.

Go, go, go have fun.  You don't gain anything by not risking anything.
But TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
You have been forewarned ha!
So if the 2 of you don't get to complete the alphabet -- he should be the Ex running after you this time.

[mimiku]

I laughed so hard when I read your reply Aquacharly especially the part where you said about my heart palpitating and all. You see, 2 years ago, when my ex left me, I got so stressed out, my heart was so heartbroken literally that I was diagnosed with MVP. I get a lot of palpitations whenever I get so stressed /exhausted and of course whenever I talk to this uhmm so called player guy!. Because of my heart condition, I couldn't really decide whether I would go forward or not. I forgot to tell you, I was diagnosed also with depression back then I had to take antidepressants just to relieve the heartache and pain when my ex left me. You see, the experience I had back then was so menacing, I practically clam up myself for the past 4 years. It was a hell of a ride. I recovered but I never really bounced back as far as being happy is concerned. I walled up too much, I inadvertently block my own self from happiness.

Yes, actually the part where his ex is still chasing him wonders me as well. Maybe perhaps he is too charming -- I mean come on, I did that as well to my ex. Siya na nga nambabae, ako pa naghabol. Haaay.

God, it's the best advice I had so far. Although, honestly I'm still so afraid. Baka next time maatake na ako sa puso kung iniwan na naman ako! hehe. Pero sige, no one has ever achieved something without trying. Thank you so much. I'll read this every now and then para mahimasmasan ako everytime I feel like backing out.

[plumpolka]

A player will always be a player.


Kung nagawa nya yun sa ex nya, what makes you different? Pero nasa sayo parin naman ang decision. Would risk getting hurt dahil alam mong babaero siya? I think you should just wait and look for someone na matino, though medyo endangered species na nga sila ngayon.


Haha, sorry ang negative, never pa naman ako nagka-bf na niloko ako so malamang meron pa yan. Huwag ng humanap ng batong ipupukpok sa ulo. 

[Mommy•Shey]

A player will always be a player??

I don't think so.. Sa buhay ng tao, alam ko kahit gano pa ka pilyo/pilya yan, makakahanap at makakanap pa din sila ng katapat nila. Yung tipong sila na yung gagawa ng ways para mag work out yung relationship niyo.

Ang magiging issue nalang dito is yung tiwala sa isa't isa.. Mahirap magtiwa sa taong hindi maganda ang background, kung seryoso siya talaga, he/she needs to prove his/her self talaga para sayo.

[romanticure]

^I super agree with you mommy!  nag sasawa ang lalake sa pambababae, tumitino din kapag may malupit na hagupit na ng huling babae sa buhay nya.

[Girltalker2]

Why would you want a player if you can have an honest and decent person? 

Why would you want to put up with someone like this - who, puedeng tumino, pero puede ding hindi magbago? 

May mga player na tumitino din eventually, but not al. But I guess the key word there is NOT ALL.  So why bother kung makakaiwas ka?

[tey_roch19]

A player will always be a PLAYER. Naniniwala ako dito. Lalo na kung yung guy e hindi sincere na magbabago. babalik at babalik sa pagiging player yan lalo na pag walang nakabantay. It's like lying pag nasanay ka na, hirap ng paniwalaang nagbago ka. Sorry, pero this is just my opinion.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

sabi nga nila:

you cant make boys change just simply by asking them to, experience does. 

[lenjeearroyo24]

don't hate the player, hate the game! 

[dkbgutierrez]

Dahil ngayon ko lang nabasa to, curious lang ako kung kumusta na kayo ngayon??

Ako, I believe that a player will always be a player.. It takes a lot to change them. As in a lot! Kung ready ka masaktan para malaman mo kung kaya mo siya baguhin then go for it.. Just don't expect too much and get ready for the worst... If he's worth the risk, then take it... Haaay bakit nga ba mga ganyan klaseng lalaki ang madali maka-attract?? jerk, gwapo, magaling mambola... Alam mo yung kailangan mong mamili kung gusto mo ng hot (sorry for the lack of better term  ) pero lagi ka may worries o dun na lang sa average at wala kang iniisip. hahaha happy new year!

[JakeTheDog]

Not true. A player is just a person na naghahanap ng katapat nya. His/her partner can't handle that person kaya naghahanap ng iba. 

[khayzee]

you can never dictate kung kanino ka mai inlove.. I agree kahit player yan makakahanap ng katapat yan.. di lang natin alam kung ikaw na yun  if you cant stop from falling inlove with him, then give yourself and that guy a chance.. malay mo, ikaw na pala maging reason para magbago sya...

[harmonyjv]

well, boys will be boys. there's no certain age for them to be men and act like one.
what they need to mature is someone they can settle down with or maybe a divine intervention... I think.

[JakeTheDog]

Don't be player hatin'. 

[skyrimgal]

I have good news and bad news for ya.
Good news: Totoo nga na players do and can change.
Bad News: most of the time it's not gonna be on your turf.

So if you are trying to avoid heartache, I wouldn't recommend you dating this guy. Specially since it seems like you take break-ups pretty hard.

[mimiku]

Thank you for your replies.

We never went off. It was a heartbreak waiting to happen. And yes, players never change - at least in my case. He hook up with another girl. But it's alright, I took the fall but yes, I was happy for a moment. I still couldn't forget him but soon enough, I will. It was a good experience.

[Girltalker2]

For me, yes, a player is always a player unless he can prove me wrong. And so far, parang 0.001% lang ata ang nagbabago na player.

[lawrence01]

I think not. i guess what im trying to say always give boy a chance to prove himself. youll know anyway if you should stop or continue dealing with the boy. what if he turns out to be a good man, worth it right? well, if not. at least you tried. love is a gamble. walang sigurado.

[kr1sta]

a player will morphed into an "improved prayer"