ABOUT BEING SAHM

[mamapeew]

^Can't let go of the helper sis. She has been with us for years. Siya pa nag alaga sa akin nung bata ako and when my mom passed away, di ko naman sya pwede paalisin kasi sya lang napagkakatiwalaan ko and kawawa rin naman. Oo nga. Sabi ni hubby I'm too negative. Can't help it.

GT rin ang major distraction ko (more than FB pa). Hehe... I don't like posting in FB e. Dito kasi may nakakausap ako. E kahit friends ko, di ko na masyado nakikita kasi may kanya kanya na rin silang pinagkakaabalahan. I need to learn how to discipline myself. Ang hirap. 

[stylishmomy]

^you dont have to let go of the helper sis and dont worry too much, may tao talaga na hindi homebuddy or not productive pag nasa house lang. My hubby cant study or do his work pg nandito sa bahay coz he only ends up watching tv with the kids, playing ps3 or reading a book, so if he needs something done... he needs to go out or do it somewhere else if possible.

Im the opposite of him since I work online and my shift ends at 3pm so I can only go out during lunch break and when my shift ends, so far ok naman but at the end of the day I REALLY REALLY feel the need to go outside the house sis.

Same rin tayo, I dont like posting on FB as I prefer posting here on GT it's my distraction from work.

[mamapeew]

^Nako, pareho pala kami ng hubby mo. I need to be somewhere else if I want to work. Naghahanap na nga ako ng sulok dito sa bahay where I can place my "work things" e kaso alam ko sisipag ako sa umpisa pero I'd end up not doing it again kasi nga yun na ang nature ko (based from experience). Kailangan talaga away from home. Mahirap naman dalhin lahat ng trabaho and papers sa starbucks and work there... hehe...)

Mahirap lumabas everyday, yung labas lang talaga.. Magastos e. Anyway, magagawan ng paraan. I just need my hubby to support me. He bought me a desk na nga e. Ganun din, sipag sa umpisa pero balik na naman sa dati. Thanks for the advice sis. Pilitin ko magbago. Sana may kahinatnan.

[stylishmomy]

oo nga sis super gastos if labas everyday just to get work done hehe ang mahal ng kape! okay lang if once a week siguro or during weekend lang.

Good luck sis!

[yena^_^]

What made you decide to do it?

My mom was a working mom, busy sya and sometimes my teacher bullied me telling I was born from a bamboo crack (mala si Marikit at si Maganda) kasi hindi talaga nila nakita ni isa sa mga parents ko na nag-attend ng PTA meeting. Kaya sabi ko noon nung bata pa ako, I will be a SAHM/W. Sinabi ko rin eto sa mom ko pero sabi nya sayang daw yung education ko, two years old palang ako pinasok na daw ako sa day care center.

Fast forward, nakalimutan ko na ang wish ko na maging SAHW kasi naging busy sa career. But circumstances stroked and I have no choice but to stay home. Totoo talaga siguro yung kasabihang "Be careful what you wish for, you may receive it, I did but was not ready for it.

How does it feel? Sulit ba?

Wala pa kasi kaming baby but subrang fulfilling lalo na pag-uwi ni hubby sasalubongin mo sya ng kiss and hug at nasarapan sya sa luto mo. Tapos sabihin nya sayo sarap talaga pag kasama mo asawa mo. LDR kasi kami for more than two years after kinasal.

How much your husband earn just to provide your daily need (food,school,utilities and etc)

Enough din naman, may savings din, di kasi kami magastos. Di ako mahilig magshopping and very simple. Bisyo ni hubby is DOTA lang and minsan nakikiDOTA rin ako.

Do you have any regrets?

Ang hirap talagang mag-adjust, it took me more than 6 months. Ilang beses na rin akong naiyak, nakiiyak na rin mister. Alam nyang nahihirapan talaga ako, naguiguilty din ako everytime kasi feeling nya kasalanan nya pero alam ko naman sa sarili ko na ako yung may problema hindi sya. He's been a great husband at yun yung palagi kong ina-assure sa kanya. Nag-aadjust pa nga ako hanggang ngayon. After our wedding in 2009, natanggap kasi ako for post graduate scholarship sa Japan for two years so hindi talaga kami nagsama except nalang kung nagbabakasyon ako (every 3 months). So nag-usap na talaga kami na after my postgrad magsasama na talaga kami. And we just did that.

Sa ME nakabase si hubby and I move with him. Naghanap ako ng work but wala talaga akong nakita, subrang frustrated ako, feeling ko I'm so useless, incompetent and all. Subrang regret ko kasi I turned down PhD offer sa Japan and job offer sa Pinas just to be with my husband. Kaya grabing pray talaga, sabi ko kay Lord i know you have a greater plan for me, di ko pa lang nakita yun ngayon but I know it would be great, please bigyan mo lang ako nga extra patience alam mo naman wala ako nun.

Then summer came, ang init pala dito, kaya natuwa ako na wala akong work atleast nasa bahay lang ako di ko kailangang lumabas.

But seriously, wala na akong regrets ngayon. Just seeing how happy my husband everytime I meet him sa door ( I can't do this pag may work ako diba?) and sabihin nya subrang swerti daw nya and spoiled ko daw sya.Natanggap ko na rin na sa bahay na talaga ako kasi may future plans na ako if ibigay na si baby ni Lord. I want to be hands on and will homeschool to give them the best education they could have and bonding moments na din.

How do you see yourself in the next 2 years? Do you plan to go back to the workforce?

Nasa bahay pa din siguro at hopefully mag-aalaga na ng baby. If may mag-ooffer ng PhD scholarship dito tatanggapin ko siguro (wish ko kasi yun) but dependi na rin kasi gusto ko talaga maghomeschool. For now I'm just waiting for God's plan to unfold.

Do you earn your own money? How?

I always love to give to charities kaya nung naputol yung income stream ko, wala na talaga. Generous naman yung husband ko, nagbigay naman kami dun sa Sendong at nagbibigay din sya sa mom and siblings ko but meron talagang mga charities na personal ayaw kong manghingi sa kanya.

Then may nakilala akong Malaysian na involve sa charities, sabi nya sakin kausapin ko daw yung husband ko for allowance. Ayun may weekly allowance na ako, inipon ko for charity. Yehey!

Sa personal needs naman, I hold my husbands ATM and CC, so anong gusto kong bilhin pwedeng pwedi, pero di naman ako mahilig magshopping.

And most importantly: How do you live your everyday life? How do you survive? What keeps you busy everyday?

Since wala pang baby wala talagang akong magawa aside from the household chores. What keeps me busy is the learning that I get from internet (basa-basa), yung stock market investment namin, exercise pag di tinamad, tv and my most favorite matulog. Minsan lumalabas ng bahay to see green and blue, pag di mainit.

[glamorosa_09]

@mamapeew and stylishmommy

Actually ganyan din ang hubby ko. Hindi pa mag-take off yung internet marketing business na plan nya dahil dyan. Nung una, hindi ko sya maintindihan, bakit kailangang magbago ang surrounding nya bago sya maging motivated. Di ba dapat motivation starts from within, na it should start internally not externally.

Until I get to know a girl friend of mine na exactly like my hubby. That's then I understood him, ah ok... may ganun pala talaga. Nung una, tin-ry nyang magwork sa bahay na nakapang-alis, from top to bottom. Hindi rin nagtagal.

Nag-plano sya na i-ban yung favorite websites nya para hindi sya madistract, pero hindi pa nya nagagawa. Bahala na sya kung anong plano nya. He's still a good provider pa rin naman.

At least supportive naman ang hubby mo sayo, pinagawan ka ng working place.

[mamapeew]

^it's nice to know na hindi pala ako nagiisa. Hindi rin ako naiintindihan ni hubby. sana, like you, may makilala rin syang makakapag explain sa kanya (bukod sa akin). Para sa kanya kasi, madaling magbago kung alam mo na kung ano ang mali. Madali ngang magbago kaso bumabalik pa rin sa dati e.

[babiebrat26]

hi sises! SAHM din ako. my whole life parati akong may kasama sa bahay nung nasa mom ko pa ako... then nung bumukod na ako at first may helper ako, kaso hindi ko sya natagalan, napa alis ko. ayun... pag nasa school ang anak ko wala akong maka usap... parating tikom ang bibig ko. haaay.. minsan halos mag hapon ako paikot ikot sa bahay kung ano ano ginagawa ko...

[ayami]

mga sis na SAHM, hubby nyo ba ang nagdecide na sa bahay lang kayo or was it your personal decision?
gusto ko rin sana to after a few years of working pero ayaw talaga ng husband ko. he tells me I should work kasi yun nga ang image nya sa isang mother (lahat ng females sa family nya hindi SAHM-- ates, mom, lolas, kahit mga asawa ng tito nya and so on). he even added I should just stop if I'm at my retirement age? lol. feeling ko nga sobra-sobra na kinikita ng mga kapamilya nya pero they still work.

[yena^_^]

^It should be decided by both of you. Malaki din kasi ang effect sa finances if hindi magwowork ang isa. So dapat agree talaga kayong dalawa.

[glamorosa_09]

@babiebrat

Sa amin, pareho naming decision yung maging SAHM ako. Medyo boring pag walang social life, mas maganda kung maging involve ka sa mga organizations na gusto mo.

@ayami

I agree with yena. Although, na-raise mo na yang dilemma mo sa SFW FB group naten.

[sweetscience]

i want to be a SAHM. I told my husband that i'll quit my job pag nabuntis/nagka-anak na kami kasi gusto kong ako ang mag-alaga sa anak namin just like what my mom did to me. He is supportive naman, ngayon pa nga lang, he is telling me, pag na-close na yung 1year contract niya sa isang client niya, puwedeng puwede na akong mag-resign agad. Kasi ni-compute namin, after a 1.5 years eh makakaipon na kami ng pampatayo ng apartment namin, which is another passive income aside from hubby's investments. Yung MIL ko lang ang may ayaw ng idea na mag-resign ako, iba pa din daw pag may sure na monthly income, may health benefits, may SSS, PAG-IBIG, etc. Kasi si hubby nagbi-business at iba pang sideline. Di na niya inasikaso yung mga SSS, PAG-IBIG, etc niya. Now, hubby is earning far more than my monthly income. Before, when he used to be employed, di umaabot ng 30K yung offer sa kanya. Nahihiya siya kasi mas malaki sweldo ko than him. Kaya nagpursige siyang mag-negosyo at kumita ng malaki. Kung magtrabaho nga siya ngayon, daig pa may binubuhay na 10 anak, hehe. Ngayon, wala na kaming masyadong worry re our finances. Sana magtuloy-tuloy ang blessings samin ni Lord. Nagtitipid pa din kami para siguruhing may ipon pa din at di kami titigil sa pagtitipid hanggat di pa naitatayo yung plan naming apartment. Sabi mas malaki expenses pag may baby na, kaya we need to prepare more. We want to have a baby soon. Currently undergoing workup, sana maging successful na this cycle. And looking forward to being a SAHM!

[stylishmomy]

^good luck on trying to have a baby sis same thing for being a SAHM, good luck! it's really good that you have both agreed on that decision.

[blueflame]

I'm a SAHW since april. Nagsisimula na akong ma-bore. i have started a business with friends but i'm only occupied lang kapag may event kami. I want to work na ulit pero hirap maghanap ng work ngayon. 

[mamichula]

What made you decide to do it?
I was due for promotion this year but I had a very difficult first trimester. I almost had a miscarriage. So I decided to give up my job for the baby.

How does it feel? Sulit ba?
I feel awful sometimes because I've always been about my career, my goals and whatnot. And I loved my job a lot.  But I'm going to be a mommy soon so I guess it's high time I set my priorities straight.

How much your husband earn just to provide your daily need (food,school,utilities and etc)
Just enough for all the bills and a little extra for me.

Do you have any regrets?
There are times when I'd wish I had the baby a bit later maybe after the promotion. But I guess God has a plan for us.

How do you see yourself in the next 2 years? Do you plan to go back to the workforce?
I'm not so sure. I dunno how the whole motherhood experience goes. I would like to go back but I dunno how long my son would need me to be here full time.

Do you earn your own money? How?
Yes. I still do freelance. I've been accepting projects as much as I still can. It's for my sanity's sake.

And most importantly: How do you live your everyday life? How do you survive? What keeps you busy everyday?
I still do freelance. I accept projects whenever I can. I cook and take care of my husband-something I wasn't able to do when I was working fulltime.

[Princess Anne]

What made you decide to do it?

I've been a working mom for 5 yrs, but decided to quit my full time job last March. The job became so exhausting, and my boss will always demand me to extend my work hours into late evenings. Plus, my workplace became like a zoo na, my co workers and my boss became emotionally and physically draining. I'm a dental assistant, so I usually just go with the flow sa clinic. Whatever the dentist decides, I'll just follow even if she/he finishes at 10pm. So, dumating na sa time na wala na ko time for my family especially sa anak ko. Lagi kami nagaaway ni hubby because of that. We usually order take out foods, kasi wala na nga ako time to cook. Tapos, my son goes to a french school and ako lang pwede magturo sa mga homeworks nya (hubby doesn't speak/understand french) so most of the time pagod na pagod na sha pagdating ko. I'm always stressed sa work, so minsan naiinis na ko pag nagtuturo ako sa kanya to the point na minsan nasisigawan ko na sha.

How does it feel? Sulit ba?
It was a big decision, because I'm so used to having my own money. I can buy anything that I want na di ako nakaka feel ng guilt. But in a way, sulit naman, kasi I get to spend more time with my son, and natututukan ko talaga school nya.

How much your husband earn just to provide your daily need (food,school,utilities and etc)?
My hubby is earning quite well naman, more than the average, so we're blessed.

Do you have any regrets?
Honestly, sometimes yes. It's more because of the financial freedom, other than that wala. Because happy naman ako spending time with my son.

How do you see yourself in the next 2 years? Do you plan to go back to the workforce? In two years, I see myself going back to school *fingers crossed*. I'm definitely going back to the workforce, but not until I earn a degree.

Do you earn your own money? How? Right now, yes because I work 2 to 3 hours during saturdays sa workplace ko pa din. 2 to 3 hours a week compared to 40 hours a week before is really not enough, but it would help me keep my sanity pa din  . And now, I told hubby that I want to start a small business (buy and sell) sa pilipinas (I'm in canada kasi) that he gladly supported naman.

And most importantly: How do you live your everyday life? How do you survive? What keeps you busy everyday? Aside from Facebook and girltalk, I go to school. When my son goes to school, ako din papasok sa school. Pag tapos ko sa class, tamang tapos din ng class ng anak ko, so I get to pick him up. Gusto ko kasi when I go back to the workforce, I can easily dictate my availability (work hours), which can only happen if I have a degree. Ayaw ko na mangyari yung katulad ng dati.


I am afraid na baka hindi kayanin ni hubby na issupport lahat and maybe mabored ako (pero parang d ko naman nakikita iyon from now) more on financial. Yung umpisa will be the worst... ganon naman palagi di ba? Parang big change sa life mo especially if you're so used to working, and big blow sa bank accounts nyo. But keep reminding yourself kung baket ka ba nagdecide na mag SAHM.

[CebuGem]

What made you decide to do it?
I quit work when I was 5 months pregnant. We live overseas and there's no immediate family or a helper to take care of the baby so that left us no choice but for me to quit work.

How does it feel? Sulit ba?
At first, i was excited because waking up early was no longer a burden. I could sleep the whole day and I had a lot of free time at my own disposal. With the winter season and my condition then, my activities were limited indoors. Eventually I got bored until I gave birth. I was no longer bored nor have a lot of free time.

Sulit sha. Not only I get to personally attend to my baby's needs, I also get to see her grow and develop.

How much your husband earn just to provide your daily need (food,school,utilities and etc)?
Hubby earns well and provides us with necessities.

Do you have any regrets?
Of course, there are times (which is often) that I miss my working life, earning my own money and dressing to the nines. My plan is to go back in the workforce when my baby is old enough for daycare.

How do you see yourself in the next 2 years? Do you plan to go back to the workforce?
Yes. I sooo miss work. In fact, I want to go back before this year ends. I am not inclined at all of putting up a business. I just want to get busy with work and motherhood. (I know easier said than done. Taking care of a baby alone is a challenge!)

Do you earn your own money? How?
I am not earning money. We have little savings to cover should we have financial difficulties.
I'm getting by well even without my own income because I live within my means. As long as baby's required things and clothes are met, I can live in peace because I know this SAHM life is just temporary.

And most importantly: How do you live your everyday life? How do you survive? What keeps you busy everyday?
My baby keeps me busy! When she's taking a nap, I go online, blog, read news, read books, watch TV --- depending on my mood. Sometimes, I cry because I'm bored or frustrated.

I am afraid na baka hindi kayanin ni hubby na issupport lahat and maybe mabored ako (pero parang d ko naman nakikita iyon from now) more on financial.
I have that fear, too. I fear that the time will come that my husband's income will not be enough to support the three of us. Especially when baby gets older and start school. That's why I want to go back to work.

[Amphitrite]

mga sis na SAHM, hubby nyo ba ang nagdecide na sa bahay lang kayo or was it your personal decision?
gusto ko rin sana to after a few years of working pero ayaw talaga ng husband ko. he tells me I should work kasi yun nga ang image nya sa isang mother (lahat ng females sa family nya hindi SAHM-- ates, mom, lolas, kahit mga asawa ng tito nya and so on). he even added I should just stop if I'm at my retirement age? lol. feeling ko nga sobra-sobra na kinikita ng mga kapamilya nya pero they still work.

Sis ayami... It is my personal decision to be a SAHM, actually may business kami pero hindi naman ako whole day nasa shop. Nung una ayaw din pumayag ni hubby na tumigil ako sa work kasi nanghinayang sya sa hirap na dinanas ko sa school at alam nya na ayoko ng feeling na useless ako.  Dati kasi hindi nya maintindihan ang reason kung bakit hindi ko kinakaya isabay ang full time job sa pag-aalaga ng anak namin, kesho ang dami nya daw officemates na working mom din. Kaya pinag-leave ko siya ng isang araw para siya ang mag-asikaso sa anak namin mula paggising, papunta school, sundo sa school, gawa ng assignments, sa pagtulog, ayun na-gets nya rin ang reason ko. Nagsumikap kami na palakasin ang 1st business para ma-compensate kahit paano yung mawawala ko na income, at ngayon malapit na namin simulan yung 2nd and 3rd business namin.

Sa situation mo naman, sige respeto natin na working mother ang image ni husband mo para sa isang mother, eh tinanong na ba nya ang image mo ng isang mother? Kausapin mo siya ng mabuti, try looking for a business that you can do at home kung finances ang worry nya. Eventually, sana maiintindihan ka rin niya, kasi mabigat sa loob kapag hindi mo masyado gusto ang work mo.

[Prunella]

Hi, ladies. I'm not a mom yet (we have 2 furbabies, though) and I decided to be a SAHW last July. My job got the best of me. I developed an eating disorder (bingeing), gained a lot of weight, became so insecure and neglected my husband. I was very passionate at what I was doing, it's no wonder I got easily frustrated. Good thing I realized that there is more to life than a career.

Fast forward 2 months, I feel happier. My husband appreciates being taken care of din. It's fulfilling. I don't have any regrets. I still plan to accept photo stints but only those that I cannot resist (magazines, some high street fashion brands, etc...) but I have no plans to work as hard as I did before. Not anytime soon. Also, my husband asked me to take it easy muna while we're trying for a baby. So I guess I'll be a SAHW for a while. I don't mind though. I was good at my job and now it's time for me to be a good housewife.

[Madelskie]

What made you decide to do it?
We've been married for a year and a half. Finally got pregnant last July and since baby is a result of work-up, gusto ni hubby na magfocus ako sa pag-iingat kay baby lalo pa pinagbedrest ako due to cyst sa ovary ko. Bawal akong matagtag. I'm working as a Manager in a Fast Food Chain so most of the time nakatayo ako sa work. Hubby and I decided na magresign na ako, we don't want to risk anything for baby since matagal namin cya hinintay.


How does it feel? Sulit ba?
Nung una, sobrang bored ako. 15 days lang kasi after I graduated I worked na. So yung katawan ko sanay na talaga ng nagtatrabaho. Pero habang tumatagal nasasanay na rin ako. Mas iniisip ko kasi na pwede naman ako magwork ulit after ng delivery ko, for now safety muna ni baby yung main concern namin. Sulit naman, sobra. Kahapon, he came home from work very early, lunch time lang pero tapos na kong kumain. I prepared food for him. Ganadong ganado cya kumain. Then bigla nyang sinabi, feeling nya bagong kasal kami. I asked him why. Sabi nya ngayon lang daw nya na-experience na may nag-aasikaso sa kanya pagdating nya from work. Since shifting yung schedule ko non, almost midnight na ko nakakauwi. Muntik akong naiyak, kasi sa sobrang abala ko kakaintindi sa career ko, hindi ko nagagawa yung duties ko as her wife.

How much your husband earn just to provide your daily need (food,school,utilities and etc)?
My husband can provide for everything we need. Actually yung sweldo ko dati nung nagwowork ako, halos hindi ko nagagalaw
 
Do you have any regrets?
Wala kasi I'm leaving everything to GOD Alam ko may plano cya the way HE gave us our little one

How do you see yourself in the next 2 years? Do you plan to go back to the workforce?
Yes. Basta hintay ko lang maging ok na si baby. Right after he/she was baptized maghahanap na ulit ako ng work. But this time, yung mas maluwag na work schedule ayoko na ng shifting. Natuto ko sa case ng husband ko.

Do you earn your own money? How?
No. Everything is coming from my husband. May savings pa from last work and still waiting for my separation pay since kaka-resign ko lang. Yung matatanggap ko enough for the payment sa delivery ko kay baby

And most importantly: How do you live your everyday life? How do you survive? What keeps you busy everyday?
Everyday when I wake up I always thank the Lord for all the wonderful blessings He is showering upon us. Everyday, iniisip ko how to make my husband feel happier. Mas pinaparamdam ko yung presence ko since ang tagal na pala nyang naglo-long ng pag-aalaga ko. May online job ako pero hindi pa ako nakakareceive ng payment since I'm starting pa lang. Then GT para sa support group lalo na sa pregnancy ko. My Mom used to be here also sa house para dalawin ako. Lumalabas din ako, with friends. But most of the time, kasama ko si hubby. Sinusulit namin yung mga oras na nawala sa amin

Sabi nga ng Nanay ko nung kinuwento ko sa kanya yung sinabi ni husband skin, sabi nya, ang kaligayahan daw ng tao ay hindi nasusukat sa mgandang career, financial stability at kung ano-ano pang materyal na bagay. What I'm doing now is a big sacrifice for me, but everything is worth giving-up. Priceless