As a friend I am struggling as well.. I see her cry everyday, mourn everyday.. she can't function well, shes like ghost in the office.. her family & friends are all worried, her fiancee is in panic (they will be married in 6 months time).. I dont know what to advice.. she already made up her mind.. she is no longer happy.. she wants to end it.
We just got close when we moved overseas (same company back home and here). I know she has this super long time boyfriend and I can see that she was very happy, her bf visited her last year and seems to me like a perfect relationship. She announced her engagement last December and we are all so happy FINALLY... until recently she said that shes tired and no longer excited about everything she cant marry the guy, there is no third party (Im sure of this) she's not ready yet and she does not want to make him wait.. he already waited too long.
I found out that for the past 12 years their life revolves with each other.. they guy does not have other friends aside from her friends.. they have same group of friends, same activities, same habits, same like almost everything.. she thought she can't live a life on her own without him.. she told me that there were coupe of times she wanted to end up the relationship because she wants to do things on her own terms but her boyfriemd will just stay outside their home from evening to dawn until she comes out and change her mind (wagas ito sis!!). Her parents will get angry because she allows her to suffer like that so, sometimes she has no choice but to go back.
When she moved overseas, she told me she realized she can do things on her own and its okay to get lost around, be stupid and end up failing without anyone patching up her flaws. She told me she can't believe she can live without him and she is happy. She was in deep stress the past few weeks because she can't see the future after marriage.. She told me she is not sure if he still loves tha guy or maybe the love was already gone a long time ago but it was just the need of him that is pulling her back. And now that she found out that she can live without him she felt free and she is happy with the new found freedom. When I asked her why did she agree to push thru the wedding, she thought its the best way to save everything and to bring back the old feelings but it was no use. she had a change of heart.
But now her fiance doesnt want to let her go. He contacted all of thier friends and family and asked them to help him change her mind. He even told my friend he is willing to wait AGAIN. If she does not want to communicate for years thats fine with him but he cant give her up. He will not let her go.
Her fiance already booked a flight to go here and win her back but according to my friend its over.. she cant marry him.. not now..
She always come to me as if I am her lifeline.. I don't know what advice to give her.. I was not there during the 12 years.. her friends, family are hurting he is hurting and so is she.. But what can we do? I told her to always choose the right thing.. try to ease the pain of breaking his heart by guiding him all through out but it seems he cant let go and I totally understand if he wont. She told me she will not contact anyone for now but I told her she will make them all worried since she is very far..
Panu ba to mga sis.. what do you think is the best way to handle this? As a friend or if you were in her shoes. I always pray that God he will give me the wisdom to say the right words to her so I can help her.. help them.. but this is so difficult.. I am the only one who knows her situation right now here..