Pano malaman kung impt ka sa isang guy?

[angel_on_d_loose]

Hi there.Hope our guy talkers na kahit mga sis would like to share their insights on my question?
I am in a long distance relationship with a guy who I have known for 6 yrs na pero we just started our so called relationship a few mos palang. Di siya pinoy so medyo pusong bato.
Its just that I don't know if he truly has feelings for me kaso di masalita para bang ang hirap pigain for sweet words to come out of his mouth.
he is very workaholic, works till almost 7 pm mon-sat pa yun. I just feel kasi na parang I am not impt at all sa kanya. He doesn't call me over the phone, doesn't try seeing me on webcam.we do chat everyday pero as I also work daytime pakont konting chat lang so paguwi ko lang talga ngkakausap kami..He uses his phone I use my comp to chat..Di ko lam kung super demanding ako na lagi ko siya gusto kachat kahit sa gabi..di talaga siya malambing eh. Gusto ko na mag-give up sobra pero I waited 6 yrs to finally admit na gusto ko talaga siya pero nung eto na as in gf niya na ko parang wala din difference. Parang chat mate lang ako..Guys if kayo hindi kayo talaga vocal pagdating sa feelings niyo how do you express it?in what way?Please help me out kasi I am close to giving up..

[janix athena]

Mahirap nga ma-gauge since foreigner si BF mo and iba sya talaga ng culture sa atin. Gusto ko lang clarify sis, nung naging mag-ON kayo, nag-exchange naman kayo ng "I love you's" di ba? Did it feel like he meant it?

Kung ako rin ang nasa position mo I'd have second thoughts kasi hindi nya talaga napaparamdam na important ka sa kanya. Di ko rin masabi na demanding ka, kasi what's normal for you may be too much naman for other couples. What are you to do? I suggest hinay-hinay ka muna sa pag-invest emotionally kasi if mejo aloof or detached pa sya sayo, dapat pantayan mo rin sya. Magpa-miss ka. Be busy. Have your own life instead of just waiting by the PC to chat. Kapag nag-wonder na sya kung bakit hindi ka na masyado available, hopefully that's when he'll realize na nami-miss ka na pala nya, and sya na ang hihingi ng more time from you. Counter-productive ang mag-demand eh, so when you do finally chat, wag mo na lang iparamdam na nagtatampo ka kasi "bakit ngayon lang?" Just be happy to hear from him.

But still, be observant. Kapag di sya nagbago even after mo magpa-miss, you can be more honest with him. Just be prepared to let go if hindi ka nya habulin. Good luck sis.

[pikapika2501]

A very simple answer I give and I believe this is quite a universal answer.
1. intent.
2. initiative.
3. consistency.

If you have intention its proven by initiative. Then if hindi ka lang pa try try, you're consistent. Then it shows the girl or guy that he/she is serious and the special someone is important.

[|:AyemZia:|]

Mahirap nga ma-gauge since foreigner si BF mo and iba sya talaga ng culture sa atin.

Kung ako rin ang nasa position mo I'd have second thoughts kasi hindi nya talaga napaparamdam na important ka sa kanya. Di ko rin masabi na demanding ka, kasi what's normal for you may be too much naman for other couples. What are you to do? I suggest hinay-hinay ka muna sa pag-invest emotionally kasi if mejo aloof or detached pa sya sayo, dapat pantayan mo rin sya. Magpa-miss ka. Be busy. Have your own life instead of just waiting by the PC to chat. Kapag nag-wonder na sya kung bakit hindi ka na masyado available, hopefully that's when he'll realize na nami-miss ka na pala nya, and sya na ang hihingi ng more time from you. Counter-productive ang mag-demand eh, so when you do finally chat, wag mo na lang iparamdam na nagtatampo ka kasi "bakit ngayon lang?" Just be happy to hear from him.

But still, be observant. Kapag di sya nagbago even after mo magpa-miss, you can be more honest with him. Just be prepared to let go if hindi ka nya habulin. Good luck sis.

nice one sis! i totally agree!
and may i add na, on my part, hindi tlaga para sa ken ang LDR e [ke foreigner or pinoy pa yun] taz iba pa yung culture nila, kase medyo demanding din aku sa oras at panahon. hindi ka nag-iisa, sis TS. mahirap tlaga yang ganyang situation e. kaya try mu na lang din yung magandang advice ni sis janix athena. JMO.

[chicafabulosa]

I used to have foreigner boyfriend before. and I must say they are very different from Filipino guys here. most of the time they are very straightforwards, bihira ang malambing sa kanya. like what you said, workaholic sya, so expect mo na di sya gaano makakapag chat sayo "all the time". Iba kasi ang priorities most of the time nila dun. I suggest kesa magmukmok ka kakaantay ng oras ng chat nyo, why don't you try to find something to do to keep your mind off him. sometimes kasi, mas nakakadepressed na mag antay and yet di naman pala mag oonline. remember, wala naman yata sya pinangako sayo na everyday kayo dapat mag chat. so it doesnt mean na kayo na, it should always be "we". don't let your world revolve around him lang.

pag nagchat na kayo, wag mo paramdam na nagtatampo ka. reverse psychology mo. find ways na mamimiss ka nya. wag masyado magdemand na dapat lagi tayo magchat. they will find you clingy. they are not used of girls na clingy and needy as they describe it. they want independent woman. woman who can still find happiness kahit na wala sila.

i know mahirap ang long distance relationship, but when you decided you enter in this kind of relationship, dapat ready ka sa consequences. mahirap sya but if you think worth it, GO .. but if not, there are a lot of guys naman dito sa Pinas na same culture and malay mo makita mo yung sweetness and thoughtfulness na hinahanap mo. but right now, isipin mo muna if kaya mo ba talaga? worth it ba na ipaglaban at tyagain mo yung LDR.

so find something to do while he is not online. make yourself more productive. remember pag sya nasa work less ang chance na maiisip ka nya. so ganun rin gawin mo. para when you both of you talk online, may makukwento ka sa kanya. hindi lang isasagot mo na inantay mo sya the whole day mag online.

hope this helps

[abuanddiego]

i also met a foreign guy years back through chat, and we became really close as in for 3 years everyday naguusap kami. I can say that he was also very serious with his work at disiplinado, minsan kahit nasa bahay nagwowork pa rin at kapag signing off na, baboo na talaga dahil may work kinabukasan. Hindi ko alam kung talaga bang hindi sila malambing because this guy can be really sweet with me naman, minsan kung makapagsalita parang kami talaga haha! pero dumating yung time na feeling ko hindi sya sincere kasi hindi consistent yung words and actions nya. Noon consistent pa, pero habang tumatagal hindi ko na nakikita sa actions nya yung sinasabi nya. After being extremely sweet for a day, the last thing he would say before logging off is that he would talk to me later pero there would be times na nawawala sya at di magpaparamdam ng ilang araw, tapos pag hindi kami nagkausap ng ilang days, babalik sya at sasabihin na miss na miss nya daw ako (i miss you my arse! )

Very successful ako dun sa magpamiss part na sinabi si sis janix, before friends lang daw kami pero after months of not talking to him, he kept on messaging me, then the last time we talked, I kept on telling him that we should move on and stop talking. But he said he can't do that, because nobody can replace me daw Before, he kept on pushing me to other guys at sinabi ko sa kanya na yun naman ang gusto nya kaya magmove on na tayo. Pero nagdrama pa na kaya nya dun sinabi is because I'm rich and I can get any guy at kaya ko daw sinasabi na magmove na kami is because I have already moved on and now I'm liking a new guy. He even told me that he doesn't want me liking any guy at lagot daw sa kanya yung lalakeng gusto ko. Ano yun, bakit ngayon iba na sinasabi nya haha! Pero kahit ano pang sabihin nya, masyado na akong nasaktan sa mga nangyare dati at hindi ko na ata kayang maniwala pa ulit sa kanya. So lahat ng sweet words nya, binoblock ko, binabaligtad ko at sinasabi kong di na ako naniniwala. Nagagalit sya pag ginagawa ko yun at hindi daw totoo yung mga sinasabi ko but there's no more point in saying that, nadurog na ang puso ko at mahirap na akong paniwalain ulit.   

So ano ang lesson? For me, consistency is the key word para malaman kung importante ka talaga sa isang guy. No matter how sweet the words are, kahit kilig na kilig at nagmemelt ka pa sinasabi nya, pero kung hindi nya kayang patunayan through actions, wag kayong maniwala, hangin lang yun na dumaan I agree with pikapika, parati nyong titignan yung consistency sa words and actions nila, mapa-Pinoy, American, European or Alien man sya kailangan nandyan ang effort at napapatunayan, at di puro salita lang.

Men are very playful and hunters in nature, they like to chase and play with girls, and I believe na gagawin nila ang lahat makuha ka lang nila. But once makuha ka na, nawawala na yung thrill because they know that you are already wrapped around his finger, at pwede ka na nyang paikut-ikutin. So ingat, wag ibigay ang lahat, and trust your instincts, pag may nararamdaman ng kakaiba, recognize it, don't make excuses for him at wag puro puso ang pairalin. Lalo na kung LDR, mas risky yan, kung yung magkakasama nga naglolokohan, what more kung malayo kayo sa isat isa. Mahirap lumayo kasi easy access ang chatting, pero bago bigyan ng importance ang iba, make sure na hindi naisasantabi ang sarili. Life is too short, so enjoy life, lalaki lang sila at di sila si God na dapat ibigay ng buong buo ang sarili

[Paperless]

napanuod ko dati ang interview ni geneva cruz, kakastart lang yata nila ni kc that time... sumama daw talaga ang loob ni girl kasi upon arrival sa airport hindi siya tinulungan ni guy na buhatin ang luggage niya as in kinuha lang ang sariling gamit niya then si girl bahala sa sarili niya. kasi dito sa atin, nasanay tayo siempre na ang babae nirerespeto, hindi masyado pinagbubuhat lalo na kung may lalaki naman... pero si kc wala naman kamalay-malay na na hurt niya feelings ng wife niya that time.

[angel_on_d_loose]

Mahirap nga ma-gauge since foreigner si BF mo and iba sya talaga ng culture sa atin. Gusto ko lang clarify sis, nung naging mag-ON kayo, nag-exchange naman kayo ng "I love you's" di ba? Did it feel like he meant it?

Kung ako rin ang nasa position mo I'd have second thoughts kasi hindi nya talaga napaparamdam na important ka sa kanya. Di ko rin masabi na demanding ka, kasi what's normal for you may be too much naman for other couples. What are you to do? I suggest hinay-hinay ka muna sa pag-invest emotionally kasi if mejo aloof or detached pa sya sayo, dapat pantayan mo rin sya. Magpa-miss ka. Be busy. Have your own life instead of just waiting by the PC to chat. Kapag nag-wonder na sya kung bakit hindi ka na masyado available, hopefully that's when he'll realize na nami-miss ka na pala nya, and sya na ang hihingi ng more time from you. Counter-productive ang mag-demand eh, so when you do finally chat, wag mo na lang iparamdam na nagtatampo ka kasi "bakit ngayon lang?" Just be happy to hear from him.

But still, be observant. Kapag di sya nagbago even after mo magpa-miss, you can be more honest with him. Just be prepared to let go if hindi ka nya habulin. Good luck sis.

Thanks for the advise..yun na nga ang ginagawa ko..kasi napapagod na me maginvest ng emotions eh..we haven't said i love u pa sis..as in  dahil emotionally detached siya, so ako din ganun na din..when I was in KL naman with him he was really attentive super sweet pero kasi dapat pag mas malayo kayo mas may effort.sorry for not responding sooner, super busy sa work..Thanks again

[angel_on_d_loose]

So happy sa lahat ng advices niyo..Consistent naman siya since nung umpisa pero mahirap talaga malayo..we only get to see each other every 6 mos..I just feel na kulang yung effort..ang mahirap nito I have other suitors naman pero dahil andiyan siya nawawalan na me gana kumausap ng iba..Will just try and stay away from him for awhile..pamiss effect diba..I do appreciate all you post..Have a great sunday everyone!!

[angelee]

Based from my expereience since LDR din kami ni BF..Consistency and effort is important para malaman mo na you're important to him..like making efforts to talk with you or chat everyday at kakamustahin ka nya if you're okay. I've learned that we don't need to be demanding para lang masunod yung gusto natin dahil ang guy kahit di mo sabihin kusa nilang gagawin yun kung talagang gusto nila. Like me I never asked him to tell me his wherabouts pero siya na yun kusang nagtetext or nagsasabi kung nasan siya and I appreciate it a lot doon pa lang malalaman mo na importante ka kasi iniinvolve ka niya. They will respect you more pala if you're not clingy..  Since LDR kayo he should also find ways na magkita kayo once in a while.

[MrsKolca]

ldr kami ni husband noon.. but he would call me early morning (euro time) just to check on me.. every morning yun talaga!