took a while and a lot of strength for me to post here again. naging malaking part din kasi ng pregnancy ko ang board na ito kaya i find it hard to go back and share what happened. i thought and expected kasi i will be like the others who happily shared their birthing experiences after they gave birth. unfortunately for me, i won't be sharing a happy story.
i gave birth last Dec 19, 2011 at 4:30 a.m. via CS at the PGH. it was an emergency CS kasi vaginal delivery talaga plano ni OB. but baby Liam had already pooped while i was in labor. they only found out when they punctured my water bag, the fluid was meconium-stained na. the bad thing is, naka-inhale na si baby Liam ng meconium and worse, some of it landed on his lungs. this brought about nasty complications: pneumonia and PPHN (persistent pulmonary hypertension of the newborn).
two days later, Dec 21 at 10:24 a.m., he joined God and became an angel.
according sa neonatologist who attended him, it was the PPHN that worsened his condition. they gave all the medicines that they could give, and in their maximum dosages, too. as for the machines, there was one machine sana that might be able to save his life, it's called ECMO. unfortunately, it's not available in the phil. so it's like saying, they did everything they could but only God could save him then.
my story will be short and devoid of emotions. masakit pa rin kasi para sakin na balikan, or rather ikwento in full details yung nangyari (although every night, i still retrace the events that led to that fateful day, thinking what i could have done to prevent it).
i wish there's something i can share, tips or anything that will help you na maiwasan yung nangyari sa baby ko. but i was really surprised and for a time, in disbelief that everything happened the way it did.
they all asked me kung overdue ba ako, i always say i'm only on my 39th week, my due date is dec 26. tsaka i was sure about my LMP. before i got pregnant, I was really monitoring my period because of ovarian cyst problem (monthly akong nagpapa-tvs which is usually done 5 days after my period). even if nagkamali ako ng LMP, i still have at least a week to compensate for the error.
the neonatologist said na kung di ako overdue, one possible reason kung bakit nagpoop agad si baby is na-stress siya sa loob. possible causes of stress are infection, diabetes or long labor.
as far as i know, wala akong infection or diabeter. my lab tests were all okay, unless mali talaga yung results na nailagay. ang lagi ko lang prob are low hemoglobin count and di ako masyadong nag-gagain ng weight. i was 110 lbs when i gave birth, pre-pregnancy weight was 95 lbs. nung 6th month, nagpa-OGCT ako and okay naman ang result. sabi ni OB, since wala namang sabit si OGCT, di na niya ako pinag-test pa ulit before i gave birth. but she requested for urine CS and CBC nung 9th month. urine CS was ok, CBC low hemoglobin count pa din (110 yung dapat, 102 lang ako)
as for long labor, lagi namang sumasakit ang tyan ko weeks before my due date. but like what my OB and everyone else are saying, even the articles i've read, it's not true labor unless regular na yung interval ng contractions. so di ko din sure kelan ba nag-start yung true labor ko. all i can remember is nung dec 18, my contractions started early afternoon, pero tolerable pa. nung di na nawala nung gabi, nagpa-ie muna ako sa isang malapit na lying-in at around 9 p.m. para sure akong di false alarm (malayo kasi samin ang pgh and the week before nag-false alarm na ako at pinauwi lang din). i was 2-3 cm dilated so pumunta na kami ng pgh and at around 12 mn, 4-5 cm na ako so they admitted me na.
so as to what really caused him to poop while still inside me, wala talagang definite answer. there were no signs and everything was ok until we learned nga na nagpoop na siya.
my OB also said na di naman uncommon ang meconium-stained babies. her son is one of them, even my pamangkin and hubby's pamangkin are also meconium-stained. pero they were all okay. so i guess, for now, it's just easier to believe that it's God's will kung bakit di nag-survive si baby Liam namin.
it's easier to think of it that way. but it doesn't make it less painful. and if i will describe the pain, it felt like nothing i've ever felt before. i guess no mother will ever get over the loss of her child.