Hi mga sis! I have been lurking in this site for quite some time now & I have finally decided to share my story to you guys. I'm not sure if I am posting in the right thread pero here goes.
My history: Married 2001
Start of work-up: 2002 (clomid, Hysterosalpingogram, several failed IUIs)
1st pregnancy: 2003 (blighted ovum)
Immuno testing: 2003 (Cat I, II, IV, V)
Other tests/procedures: Laparoscopy for Endo stage II, severe PCOS
Treatment: LIT, IVIG, Prednisone, Heparin, Aspirin (the works)
Result: several failed IUIs & 2 failed IVFs (done in Singapore)
To make the long story short, walang nangyari. I don't want to sound obnoxious pero sa lahat lahat ng nagastos naming mag-asawa I could have built a house, seriously. But we did not mind the financial factor, we worked hard instead para matustusan ang expenses. But the most painful part is the emotional & physical pain that we had to endure.
Fast forward to 2007, our 2nd IVF procedure. Husband & I decided that if it still does not work out, we will move on with our lives & accept the fact that maybe our destiny is to really not have a child.
After the failed IVF I went through all the grieving stages, anger, depression, self pity, etc. ( i know all of you can relate to this). Until I reached the final stage, ACCEPTANCE.
I realized that life is not about having a child or not. Having no children does not make me less of a person. Naisip ko, I did not marry my husband just to procreate. I married him because I want to spend the rest of my l with him. & if we do have a child/children, bonus na yun sobra. I did bt blame God, kasi naisip ko i have so many blessings in life. Good health, loving family & friends, shelter, food, a wonderful husband, pano pa ako aangal? parang ang selfish ko na nun.
Moving on, hubby & i decided to live our life to the max. We traveled when permitted. We took up mountain biking. We surrounded ourselves w/ people who care & love us & who do not judge us for not having children.
Fast forward again to 2012. I found out I was pregnant. No work ups, no medications, etc. As in lahat wala. I found out Jan 3. Grabe the best new yr's gift na natanggap namin. I am now almost 11wks pregnant.
What I learned from all of these: that God is really great. I am not a super religious person pero this truly is a miracle baby. In God's time talaga, everything will fall into place. I have to be honest, I am scared almost every day. Scared that something might go wrong. In short PARANOID. But I am embracing this pregnancy. Binigay na ito ni Lord w/o me asking so I know para sa akin na talaga to.
Mga sis, don't lose hope. Wala pala talagang imposible kay Lord. I read this somewhere:
GOD answers prayer in 3 ways:
HE says YES & gives you what you want.
HE says NO & gives you BETTER.
HE says WAIT & gives you the BEST EVER.
I continue to pray everyday that everything will go well. & I will pray for everyone here who are in their journey to having their own miracle baby soon.
Ang haba na ng post ko, I will create another one kasi I want to share what I have learned so far in this pregnancy.
Prayers & Baby dust to all.