Author Topic: Temptations. How do you deal with it? (Read 5344 times)

honey_iya · « **Reply #20 on:** October 13, 2011, 10:17:29 am »

Simple lang..alam mo na sa umpisa palang mali na kaya umiwas na

karmark16 · « **Reply #21 on:** October 13, 2011, 04:55:39 pm »

My boyfriend is my first and hopefully siya na ang last. He's been my boyfriend since I was 16, I'm turning 22 now. I admit there are times when, out of being curious, I imagine flirting with other guys pero I feel too guilty just thinking about it so hindi ko ginagawa. There are guys who would like to court me before kahit pa may bf na ako, tempting and in fairness naman attractive sila... pero super dedma lang ako. I guess I love my boyfriend too much kaya magandang maaga pa lang umiwas na sa kalokohan. Now, I wear the two rings my bf gave me, na parang engagement at wedding ring, para wala na talaga magbaka sakali. hahaha! they all think I'm married na.

swim_fatale · « **Reply #22 on:** October 17, 2011, 09:31:18 pm »

Iwas, iwas. But it's easier said than done.

Aria_ · « **Reply #23 on:** October 17, 2011, 10:27:40 pm »

^ Tama sis. Pero, i think it's coming to an end. Hehe.

carrieso · « **Reply #24 on:** October 20, 2011, 09:00:16 pm »

renew your mind always

aquacharly · « **Reply #25 on:** October 24, 2011, 04:21:17 pm »

GLAMAROSA & HONEY IYA gave you the best, tried-&-tested answer to fighting temptation: AVOIDANCE.

Do not put yourself in Temptation's way unless you intend to enjoy it.

Tapos, sasabihin: But I am not giving in to Temptation, I am just Curious. Lol, ayos kang bata ka!

Aria_ · « **Reply #26 on:** October 24, 2011, 05:07:38 pm »

^ Haha.

Ok na po. I think I have it under control. Nothing more than friends. Promise. Thanks sa advice. Pagalitan niyo ako sana palagi para matauhan ako. Hehe

kawen · « **Reply #27 on:** October 24, 2011, 06:24:54 pm »

I am also in a LDR... now how can you avoid someone who gives you attention, na alam mong he likes you somehow.. and you see him everyday in the office.. ang hirap nun diba? tapos I can see he has more the qualities I look for than my bf... *sigh*

aquacharly · « **Reply #28 on:** October 25, 2011, 09:29:03 am »

^Mahirap, but it is not impossible to keep it all friendly-friendly lang. It is your call. You know how guys are -- susubok bka maka score, hehe.

Nobody is perfect. It is but human nature you will be drawn to some people at some time. There are qualities a certain person has you do not enjoy now, so are attracted to. Vice-versa. But the thing is, hindi como boy-girl relationship eh -- tadah! Sex is involved. Hello, once upon a time nung bata pa tayo -- boys and girls played along ok, until the malice of the world colors the relationships di ba?

I have lots of male BFFs. Ganun din, a spark grabs my attention, vice-versa. Then the attraction becomes friendship.. Hindi lang good company.. as in they seek out my company when they need advice, are depressed, have good news to share, need to buy a gift, need to entertain in their homes or have to do business entertaining (hindi ha -- hindi ako singer, lol but I do know about tasteful entertaining, plus protocol

, when they need a mediator or human shield vs an enraged/betrayed GF/wife, etc. And here I am - buhay na buhay pa, hindi pa ko na dead-o ng hubby ko who lives with me 24/7, and is a very very very controlling man.

How do I get away with it? I tell him everything, as in all. Cuentos are what friends make, secrets are what 2 people into monkey business make. I kiss, hug publicly in front of my husband... But darling, have delicadeza -- beso beso but not smooching, hugs but not embraces -- alam mo na yon, hwag ka mag deadma! Lol. I never touch a guy where he may misinterpret my hand message -- on the leg, on the nape, on the cheek, on his heart, on x rated parts but of course!!! Pero madalas ko din sila batukan, slap on the shoulder, kurot sa braso, pitik sa noo. Lol. We are buddies. And I do not go into ambiguous small talk nor texting. And unless your wife is about to kill you -- call only during business hours. Though a male BFF called me once at 1am to get him out of jail. Did I go? No, but I talked to the police station commander to warn him nicely that my BFf better be unharmed when my lawyer springs him later.

In the work place, KAWEN, act professionally. So no idle chatter, no pa cute, no joking around, etc. When you are all out socializing, yon, you can be friendly. What did I just say? You ought to go out as a group, until your friendship is firmly established - no ambiguity, friendship lang tlaga.

Things work out, at times beyond our expectations. You have a BF. You wanna stay loyal too -- sure, why not. You have this office mate you find entertaining, sure get entertained. But use your common sense/better judgment. Being entertained or enjoying yourself doesn't mean you gotta pay the price of feeling guilty/scared baka mabuko, being unfaithful, risking a good relationship for something uncertain, or... Excuse me lang ha .......Scratching an itch. Too high a price to pay. Let things unfold to YOUR advantage. Keep it all friendly until you see more with your mind, not just with your eyes/emotions/boredom/loneliness - that, more than friendship is in YOUR best interest. Sabi ng lola ko: "slow by slow" LOL

So, mga Sis -- do not look at whatever shines & attracts you as Temptation. Naku, you will deny yourself so much laughter and good company. Look at it as friendships - meron mababaw, meron dependable, meron pang good time (hello, good clean fun ha!), etc. Basta pako mo sa utak mo friends lang kayo -- do not stoke your pride/ego: hmm, attracted itong mokong na to sa kin... Hmmm, kaya ko mabighani ito, hmmm... Etc. Do not put yourself in harm's way nga. Set the boundaries, and be firm. Men generally know what "no" means -- kaya lang bilib sila sa powers of persuasion nila; or sa mother nila who states wala nang mas guapo pa sa anak nya; or optimistic sila makaka score ng libre -- hehe. SO, it is all up to us, really, how far we let them go.

Bow.

baliwsayo · « **Reply #29 on:** October 25, 2011, 10:20:17 am »

Kawen, ako usually umiiwas na lang ako. Mahirap lang you tend to "see" the good qualities if you're looking lang naman. Don't look so you won't see.

Tsaka ako kasi pag in love, parang may pader na sa harap ko.. wala na akong nakikitang iba kundi siya lang. Pag may umeepal, naiirita ako kasi feeling ko binabastos ako.. alam na ngang attached ako eh bat eepal pa? Tingin ba niya masama akong babae? Kaya usually binabara ko para tumigil na. Ganun lang.

Aria_ · « **Reply #30 on:** October 25, 2011, 10:48:02 pm »

naku aquacharly. sinabi mo na lahat. ikaw na. hehe. True to, "SO, it is all up to us, really, how far we let them go." Amen to that. It's up to us really. I should work on my no, I guess.

Thanks sa pag payo.

kawen · « **Reply #31 on:** October 26, 2011, 04:34:43 am »

Thank you very much sis aquacharly.. You are right, nasa samin parin yun if we will give in and it's just a matter of staying faithful to our partners, lalo na LDR pa.. I know I am having a lot of reasons (to get close to the guy) hay naku, ang hirap iwasan - hindi naman siya mahirap magustuhan (and mahalin) if ever, I am defending myself again (argh!)... I try to be professional naman at work, I ignore him, don't give much attention.. pero nahuhulog pa din ako, kase marupok ang puso ko lalo na't single mom din ako, waiting for a guy who'd accept and love me and in the future marry me... I know it's wrong to feel this way but I think I am already falling for him... AND he's about to GET MARRIED.. hindi pa naman engage (in denial) but I think he's about to propose. I don't know why I get so affected, I don't love him naman.. I'm so lost. There's a part of me that wants him hay.. this is really bad..

Masyado kase ako superstitious, I believe in zodiac signs at nagkataon na Capricorn pa siya, Letter R, okay lang sana kung hindi eh, pero tumutugma kase sa mga gusto ko. Babaw ko noh? Pero yun kase ang basehan ko...

Sis baliwsayo.. sis I wasn't looking, it so happens that he's the new guy at work.. hope I can be as strong as you, right now kase may mga hinahanap pa ako na wala sa partner ko (that I see in him), like financial stability and being successful... gusto ko na kase magsettle down and kelangan pa namin mgwait because naguumpisa palang siya sa karera niya (we're both 27).. but I really love him so much kase he accepts my son, yun ang pinaka-importante sakin..

aquacharly · « **Reply #32 on:** October 26, 2011, 05:00:38 pm »

KAWEN, be careful... Very, very careful. People who play near fires -- get singed. What more with those who play with fire. They get toasted.

.

You don't love him, but nahuhulog loob mo... He is about to be engaged, but....
IMO, you are just plain lonely, what with your BF out of your physical reach.

I know as a single mom, the future gives you more anxiety. But you cannot just fall, as in fall in love -- coz you have someone who depends on just you and you alone. So, think this 1 out carefully. You do not have to give in to every temptation that comes your way. As Buddha said: everything passes. Even an itch passes. ..... So, there.

Aria_ · « **Reply #33 on:** October 26, 2011, 10:20:48 pm »

Parehas tayo, kawen.

Crush ko lang siya, pero di impossible na mag fall ako sa kanya, more than crush less than love.

Pero, I know I should analyze what I feel about the bf muna before doing anything stupid.

kawen · « **Reply #34 on:** October 27, 2011, 11:52:28 pm »

^^Sis aquacharly, I know what you mean and you're right I am lonely, miss my bf so much.. I know I should be careful this time in choosing / staying in love with my bf, I know this is one of the tests in a LDR, staying faithful. I will remember what you said and I know my actions right now are really irresponsible and that I should know better and not give in to him. (hay wag lang sana siya mag make ng move, because I know somehow he's playing me)

Sis Aria.. we always have a choice, as long as whatever happens we accept the consequences, only YOU can know what will make you happy.. and as you get older you'll realize all that.. so many what ifs we will never really know who is the one for us.

I always remind myself with this quote:
If we allow our relationship to be threatened by someone who can offer us something better, then all of us would be miserable because there could always be better partners than the ones we have now. It eventually becomes a matter of contentment. Let us try to make our relationship work even if at times we lose our interest in it.. being blessed is not always about finding someone new to love but being able to continue to love someone we've always had.

Aria_ · « **Reply #35 on:** October 29, 2011, 12:26:57 pm »

^ What if sis you don't feel guilty of what you're doing anymore? What if you have been moving on (for years) while you're still in the relationship? Alam mo yun? Yung tipong unti-unti mo nang binabawasan yung feelings mo for him while kayo pa? And when you told him that you want a new life with him, na you're open to actually going after him sa country na andun siya and he said, "Why don't you try *insert different country here*?" I was like

. Doon ako na discourage eh. Ano ba mafi-feel mo sa ganoon? Gusto mo na nga doon sa kanya tapos sabihan ka na doon ka sa different country. Parang ano ba? Sasabunutan na kita eh. Maglalambing pa naman ako sana. Pero, wala na. Nawala na lahat. I used to be so crazy in love with him. Pero ngayon, ewan. I have never imagined na I am falling out of love for him. I don't know if I am or is this some kind of LDR phase lang??

Kaya when there's someone else na nagpaparamdam, you are not that hesitant to entertain him. Kahit na as friends lang kayo. Enjoy mo lang yung company niya. Yun lang. And you didn't plan this in the first place. It just.. happened.

kawen · « **Reply #36 on:** October 29, 2011, 10:18:13 pm »

Sis.. ikaw lang makakaalam nun.. I understand how you feel, baket kelangan other country, why not same country where he's in.. sis baka naman the country he's in right now has no future for the both of you, baka stepping stone niya lang yan para magkaron ng opportunity sa ibang place.. baka he wants you to try this other country so he can follow you there? Kase kameng dalawa, gusto ko din actually sumunod sa kanya but for me I don't see that the country he's working in will be good for us, even him gusto nga niya kunin ko siya pagnakapag-abroad ako, kase sabi niya way niya lang to para mag-cross country.. How long have you been apart? I do have plans visiting him there, nagkikita ba kayo? Usap nga tayo hehe...

Sis it really depends on your happiness, your instincts... is this 'new guy' worth risking a long-term relationship? Will there be no regrets? Kaya mo ba? hehe.. madaming tanong... follow your heart, tama man o mali you'll never know, basta happy ka.. What do you think?

Aria_ · « **Reply #37 on:** October 30, 2011, 10:49:48 pm »

^ Oo nga sis, I think I have to talk to you. I'll PM you. Hehe. We're in the same situation. But I think I have to pm you next time. May gagawin pa kasi ako ngayon. Glad I found someone in the same situation who would understand how I feel.

thegimp · « **Reply #38 on:** October 31, 2011, 06:21:58 pm »

here's the catch ladies:

an average guy will not make a move unless you show them hints that you are interested with him.

the player-type? they will surely make a move even if you dont give them hints.

kawen · « **Reply #39 on:** November 01, 2011, 08:07:54 pm »

Quote from: Aria_ on October 30, 2011, 10:49:48 pm

^ Oo nga sis, I think I have to talk to you. I'll PM you. Hehe. We're in the same situation. But I think I have to pm you next time. May gagawin pa kasi ako ngayon. Glad I found someone in the same situation who would understand how I feel.

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Author Topic: Temptations. How do you deal with it? (Read 5344 times)