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GIRLTALK

Author Topic: How do you improve.. Character?  (Read 771 times)

Clair de Lune

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How do you improve.. Character?
« on: September 15, 2013, 08:15:24 PM »
Ok, so the formula to self-improvement is not so hard to figure out. I've heard lots of advice like go to the gym, join a class, read a lot of books, etc. But how do you actually improve your character? How do you make yourself better on a much deeper level.. not just in terms of physical attributes, extent of experience, financial status and whatnot.

How do you shift from a negative to a positive mindset? Develop good attitude? How do you apply your ideals and values in world that only ends up frustrating you most of the time? The reason I'm asking is.. I cannot stand myself lately. I've become so high strung, easily aggravated, easily feels the need to complain, and bothered by the pettiest of things.

I'm so short of optimism right now. Most of the time, all I think about is how to survive.. but not how to live. I've lost my sense of wonder about the great things in the world. I feel stuck. I don't think I have anything good to contribute to society. As they say, to be happy, you have to be the kind of person you will love to be with. I don't feel that at all. If I were my partner, I'd fall out of love with myself.

aquacharly

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  • Posts: 4568
Re: How do you improve.. Character?
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2013, 10:32:08 PM »
These are all I know. Like you, I am eager to learn from others' wisdom


TO BE HAPPY, EXPECT NOTHING. 

When I don't expect, nothing disappoints.   Then, whatever's your issue is either a blessing or an opportunity.

Expect Nothing, regret nothing.  Regrets drain big-time

Expecting Nothing, you don't wait for what another person/others will do.   You don't hang your star of happiness on another. 

Expecting Nothing is liberating.



HOW DO YOU IMPROVE YOUR CHARACTER?
Live by The Golden Rule.
Read The Desiderata
Exercise Restraint
Start & end each day connecting to God/your Higher







anon

  • Junior GirlTalker
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Re: How do you improve.. Character?
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2013, 10:42:12 PM »
Desiderata is one of the best books around. I'm also interested in learning how to build one's character, pero i'm a bit confused with your question, Clair. For me, character is based on one's integrity, ie consistency in one's beliefs, thoughts and actions. Optimism is based on one's attitutude in facing life. Both character and attitude are conscious choices each of us make and cultivate in life.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2013, 10:44:27 PM by anon »

joban99

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Re: How do you improve.. Character?
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2013, 07:09:37 PM »
Hi Clair de Lune, these are things that worked and still work for me, so eventhough it may not work for others, hopefully you try this and it works for you.  In regards to character, I agree with Anon wherein it is connected with integrity and the best way to develop your integrity/character is to always keep your promises either you make to yourself or to others. Try reading (or kahit skim through) Stephen Covey's 7 habits of highly effective people. Its the little things that count, like if you tell a friend youll meet them a 7pm at a resto, be there at 6:55pm (marami sigurong tinamaan dyan, hehe..) or if you said youd take your child/sibling to the mall and you feel tired, you have to honor what you said and take them out.

As for being short of optimism, just always remind yourself that you should be grateful for what you have. The mere fact that youre on girltalk means you probly have a computer or have enough time and money to go to the internet cafe! Also something that really helped me alot was just constantly going to church every week and just constantly saying thank you to God. I never thought Id be this type of person, but probly as I got older, I just became more religious and in turn, more thankful for everything which again in turn made life much happier and better.

Also when I was younger when I wasnt really going to church that often, I had a gratitude journal (which I saw on Oprah) wherein at the end of the day, you have to write at least 3 things you're grateful for. Sometimes youll think that the day wasnt eventful and you cant write anything, but when you think silently for at least 10 minutes, youll come up with probly a dozen things. Again only you can help yourself, but I hope you take into consideration all the advice that is being share by everyone. Hope this helps. :)
« Last Edit: September 22, 2013, 07:13:32 PM by joban99 »

bagaholic_chewy

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  • *on shopping and travel rehab.. until 2014..*
Re: How do you improve.. Character?
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2013, 09:30:27 PM »
sis Clair, one good thng about your situation is that you are aware of it, seems to have accepted it, and now trying to correct/improve it. Mas mahirap yung di natin alam na nagiging nega na tayo..

I always tell myself and my friends na happiness is a choice and it is important to choose your battles. We can always whine about things, but I eventually realized na sayang ang energy, especially if yung bagay/situation na kinaiinisan ko is beyond my control. So I try to find something positive about the situation na lang. I have my moods din but I feel that I have improved on this na. Like before ambilis ko mag-snap sa ibang tao, pag wala sa mood, kung ano agad nasasabi, minsan hurtful words pa. So I learned to control myself. Pag nafi-feel ko na I'm about to snap, I pause and count for a few seconds, then by the time na nagsalita ako medyo kalmado na and somehow na-filter out ko na yung mga bad/hurtful words. At ngayon, most of the time e pinapalampas ko na ang mga maliliit na bagay. Minsan kasi naisip ko not worth makipag-sagutan pa for something so irrelevant.


"Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you rich"

"The only time to eat diet food is while waiting for the steak to cook"

 

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