Currently in a relationship- yes, happy, I could say
...But always been hunted by my past..its been freakin' 10yrs since it happened, we are currently in our 30's now.. he was my college boyfie (imagine college life?! we really went thru a lot) after our college graduation he was offered a job abroad and accepted it, we stayed LDR for 2 yrs, it was all ok, I get to work as a call centre agent when he left and really enjoyed my job then,.
Next, I met someone who helped me work overseas too, i may have to leave our country but not the same as where he was. I broke up with him by the time I have to leave, I have my reasons why i did that and one is, we really just cant stand the long distance thing,..I know it won't work for us...I was young..He refused and even begged me not to leave..I was firm and decided.
Abroad,.I again enjoyed the new place, environment and people, loved my work too..he came to my senses again after a year when the news came from our common college friends that he was back home (phils) for his vacation..I humbly made my move..made calls to speak to him and tried my best to clear things up and start again..I was more than willing to work things out, he was responsive but i just realized later on that he was not that interested..30days of his vacation in manila, 30days i was on the phone with him, everyday...I was full of hope. We compromised that we'll try to work it out. I was the happiest.
He left Phils again...After 4mos of not hearing from him, after that 4 long months of waiting, heard not a single thing, you bet! Shortly, I found out he was in a relationship already and seemed happy. I was really devastated, im in a foreign land without my family and console of my true friends...I have no choice but to move on, I have done some stupid decisions during those painful times but my life does not end when he ended
2 years ago, he finally decided to stay in the Phils and work there..during this time, I heard from friends, him and the gf broke up... he tried to communicate not with me but with my sister to tell me to get in touch with him and his family when I get home for vacation/holiday, and that he was really sorry about what had happened to us (duh?! to my sister, seriously?!)...I went home few times, met our common friends but never saw him even once..wished our paths had crossed but never did..At one point, I knew that it is because of me too that our friends never invited him. For them, its been long overdue and being friends with him is something not necessary plus I always give them the impression that I am all ok and seeing him does not interests me..
I had relationships in between years... Well afterall, he might not be the one I have seriously prayed for so I went on with my life, at least i tried. All relationships I had after that nightmare lasted for minimum 2 yrs and was all ok, I felt I was really loved by those people I shared my short life with. Infairness to the one i am with currently, me being thankful is an understatement. A very selfless, caring human being.
The hunt of the past never ceases...he is still single, not sure if in a relationship but at least not married..we are not even fb friends, I only get to see his pictures and whereabouts thru our common friends, and it always, always melts my heart.
I know what I have to do, but i dont have the courage anymore...I am so indenial...I wanna keep the lil' pride for myself after every stupid thing I did for him, its been 10yrs, and it is really an old story for some..everyone has moved on, but not me..
A closure might be necessary....I don't know