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Author Topic: Having a gay boss or Working with gays  (Read 5986 times)

sassa

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Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« on: May 15, 2011, 12:54:52 PM »
This is not meant to offend the third sex. My new boss is gay. He's fun to work with. Very open minded and positive but very COMPETITIVE. Lahat ba ng gays ganito? and sometimes feeling ko pinepersonal nya kami.

He is competitive in a way that sometimes even if he is our boss that is suppose to mentor and coach us, we feel that he gets our accounts from us.

Then just last week, I was suppose to go on VL (he already approved it) then he suddenly took it back! I bought tickets na kaya but I dont want to argue anymore so I said "ok". Then a day after that, I committed  a mistake at work but it did not cause a complaint or whatsoever naman. Instead of just reprimanding me, he took the case to HR Department as a procedural and preemptive measure daw. I have a feeling that I might get suspended for it because just two months ago, I had a guest complaint and I already had a written warning.


I used to be very energetic at work but these issues with him are affecting me. What's worse about it is, he sometimes act like nothing happened! He always says that this is nothing personal BUT, I take my work personally. So I am trying my best to be civil at him at work not as chummy chummy as before for him to realize that he is already out of line.
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mbeeyap

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2011, 01:42:20 PM »
yes sis, ganyan din dito sa workplace ko.  60% of the supervisors/managers here are gay and all of them are very competitive. i've experienced being shouted and humiliated in front of my workmates (actually lahat kami na naging under nya). pero sabi eh it's nothing personal. ganun?!  :o

nakakahiya kaya yung mabulyawan dahil lang hindi nya matalo yung kabilang team. eh mataas naman yung standing namin, pro gusto nya #1 talaga.

i guess ganyan talaga kapag bagong boss pa lang. they need to prove themselves pa kaya masyadong effort at by the book pa. pero pag naging regular na sila, ayun chika2 na lang. ::)
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mbeeyap

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2011, 01:47:01 PM »
baka naman pwede ka magpalipat ng ibang team/management? that's how it is here sa work ko. if my issues sa boss,we can request to be transferred to different mangagement kasi it affects our productivity. talk to you HR din.  8)
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freeswan

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2011, 01:58:50 PM »
mga sis, i can totally relate to you. 6 years na ako dito sa work ko and this new gay boss came in (fyi, i have nothing against gay people. i love them!), naging hell ang work ko. the prob kasi mashado siyang people pleaser kahit sa i bang department namin. kaya lahat ng hinihingi ng ibang department namin, umu-oo siya agad without consulting us. in the end, we are sooo overworked. we work at least 9hrs/ day and with no OT. tapos lagi siyanh pahugas kamay. if may irraise ibang dept. na issue tungkol sa amin laging sarili niya sinisave niya, d niya kami pinagtatanggol.

sa tinagal tagal ko na dito, ngayon lang ako ever nagreklamo. iescalate ko na nga sa boss niya eh.
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miss resilient

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2011, 07:45:21 PM »
loko pala boss mo..di siya dapat ganon. for me mali, she/he (kasi gay) doesnt treat you right.

may colleague din akong ganyan..pero tumagal lang ako ng kaunti babarahin ko na rin ng todo ayoko lang muna labas sungay ko.

BUT my brother is gay..and he is kind..lalo na sa mga kasama niya sa work, very generous and kind

aquacharly

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2011, 09:18:39 AM »
SASSA -- he is right - do not take it personally.  Look at your situation as another person with sufficient relevant comprehension will look at your performance.  Step back. That way, makita mo clearly, with no personal coloring, how your performance and mistakes relate to company policy and standards.  Whatever your personal opinion, and that of your boss too,  what matters is the company standard and policies.  Look at it objectively, then correct or improve on your performance.

A b1tch is a b1tch is a b1tch,  regardless of sex.  Being less chummy chummy with a b1tch will not boink! him/her/it into behaving better towards you.  If you do not like your boss, better to focus your  energies on getting another job, transferring to another department, or -- studying that b1tch better so you can advance your interests more through him/her/it.  A good starting point is to ask yourself:  What would I do if I were that b1tch?  He is right after all - it is nothing personal -- either you (or anyone who gets ino his work circle) support  or obstruct his personal agenda, ganun lamg yon.  Between the 2 of you now, unfortunately - for the meantime - he has the advantage over you. 

aquacharly

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2011, 09:30:06 AM »
To answer your other issue of working with gays -- i have gay personnel and they can be as reliable or unreliable as straight personnel.  But I impose the  No Cross-Dressing   and Proper Office Attire rules on these gays. 

My husband though (we manage/oversee our businesses together) - tells our HR, accounting  and management to keep a closer watch over them.  In his opinion, they love more than women do -- and that gives them the tendency to break rules more  - daw. :).

sassa

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2011, 06:56:08 AM »
^Thanks for the advise! as of the mean time, since he wants to be technical.. I'm being technical to him. Pure work na lang.

I cannot resign yet since I just transferred to this company a year ago. I love the company and my job. Its just him and my other supervisor who's making things difficult for me.

Sis aquacharly, should I continue being "civil" to him or should I just forget what happened? Its Appraisal time once again and I feel he might take things differently this time around...
You think you have forever.. but you dont.

freeswan

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2011, 07:43:58 AM »
sis, i just had a talk to my boss earlier. and everything went well. but before that, i had talks with my husband to enlighten me with things. here's my strategy:

1. talked to my husband. he said, patapos na ang buwan, you can't correct things now. all you need to do is suck it up. but...
2. before you escalate, talk first to your boss.
3. sent him an invite/email for a one-on-one. good thing, he accepted my invite.
4. tell him your concerns, problems (in a mahinahon way).
5. don't just complain. come up with an action plan. i asked my boss, what's for june. tamang tama he had touchbase with other departments and may gusto na silang mangyari for june. i volunteered to make an efficiency grid for the team, with complete details of every tasks and assignments on a weekly basis. i also told him my action plans - why i think this would work and why it did not work for the previous months. as the one who is doing all the the job, i should know what will work or not.  come up with something realistic and can be measured. i did time and motion, i computed number of hours per assignment and even breaks and time to go up and down the elevator. suggest things na kunyari sa kanya manggaling. sabihin mo "eh kung ganito kaya gawin natin..." kahit idea mo yung pero kunyari pinitch in mo lang sa kanya, the bosses would love that. basta when you talk to him, feed him with information na wala na siyang masabi.

goodluck sis!
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aquacharly

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2011, 03:02:13 AM »
SASSA- if you mean by being "civil" eh may bahid nang galit :) -- stop that - for sure ramdam nya galit/suya  mo.  Be professional.  Basta yung pagdating sa work - be eager to accomplsh what needs to be done, show initiative.  Nobody wants to have on his team someone na tinitimpla timpla pa when you need something done.  The work place is where you hide/put away your emotions, work lang dapat in play. 

It may be too late by now to change his main take  on you re the Appraisal Report. But you can still influence his qualifiers.  For example, he may assess that  -- you do not work well  within the team,  BUT he sees you are improving and so he feels confident you will come up to standard soon. 

If your supervisors,  in your opinion, are the ones making it difficult for you -- SASSA, red flag yan.  You are not yet up to company standards.  They are supervisors for good reason,  as decided by management.  Best to learn from them. Opposing them  will just  cause you unnecessary wear and tear. 

sassa

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2011, 01:09:18 AM »
Well sis, the assistant manager has leadership problems talaga kasi mahilig sya manlaglag ng tao. That's what she's known for. Actually, may natanggal na nga samin because of her. Anyway, that's a different story. Nagiingat nalang ako sa kanya and sa lahat ng kilos ko.
You think you have forever.. but you dont.

Purple_Power

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #11 on: June 21, 2011, 05:41:43 PM »
I have a gay boss before when I was still an events coordinator. He is accommodating, considerate and understanding ang kaso mo he tends not to be responsible to contact you if you are suppose to do your job during our bar tour or not. Sometimes ako pa napagalitan ng isang account manager nila kasi I was not informed regarding their change of schedule sa call time nila, eh di dumating ako run kung ano yung ever since na alam kong call time nila na regular. Tapos at times may asta rin siyang arrogant especially by the time na he has problems with his boyfriend.  ??? Biruin mo naman yun? may tinatanong ako about our workpace tapos kung palayasin niya ako ganun na lang just because of his lovelife. Hello working time pa yun. Ang tingin ko sa kanya he is not well organized.

Then ito yung kinonsider ako as his friend but sh!!!tt happened.  >:( This one is in denial gay but obviously he is a gay kahit naman yung isang kasamahan ko at yung business partner niya nahalata yun. The way he talks he is like marangal na tao who is willing to do the right thing. Ang akala ko he is responsible to his actions paano kasi kung magsalita eh! ang lakas ng loob niyang magbigay ng pangaral sa akin. Minsan sinasabi niya in hateful manner na walang personalan but he still did  it. I just thought he is a man with integrity yun pala CHEATER NA MAGNANAKAW PA! It came to the point na wala siyang planong swelduhan kami during our stay dahil pinopoint out niya na he is already helping us in our opportunities saka tumutulong na nga lang raw siya napasama pa raw siya. Tapos yung business partner niya ninakawan pa niya ng CPU pambayad sa upa nila. Plus! walang business permit ang company. Then sabay sabi sa kasamahan ko kapag nagsalita ako ng totoo tungkol sa kanya sa ibang mga tao ipapablack list raw niya ako so that I couldn't land a job dahil kaya niyang gawin yun.  ;D Funny he thought I would be afraid of him saka sira pala siya ni hindi nga niya ginawang legal yung company niya inistablish niya.  Sinabihan pa niya ako na to be honest reflect on yourself where are you now I am the only one who is giving you the opportunities, and so?  ;D it is not my utang na loob. Kung hindi ko pa takutin hindi pa ibibigay yung salary ko at mabuti na lang nagbayad siya kahit isang taon nakalipas yun.

k_heart

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2011, 11:49:58 PM »
They are fun to work with but they are sometimes unreliable. I prefer pa rin to get straight girls or boys as part of my staff. Although yung ibang jobs sa company namin, mas better or mas forte ng gays.Depende sa job description but they are really fun to have around. Sobrang masaya! Very passionate din kasi sila.

Neverfull

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2012, 01:35:08 PM »
As a co-worker, I would say they are the best. As a boss (direct) nah, AYAW. Yung mga naging boss ko mga open gays ha (naka 3 na ako). Kakaiba sila eh, mas malupit ang mood swings nila sa babaeng boss na nag me-menopause. Ibang klase sila magalit lalo na sa mga hindi nila type na staff nila. Mas prefer ko pa rin ang straight.
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serendipity02

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2012, 03:16:15 PM »
As a Boss - BIG NO NO NO!!! i had one before, as in ang lupit nya magpower trip at may favoritism pa, he/she/IT would use his/her power para ipunch in sya ng maaga tapos late papasok, ayun pinaterminate namin ng buong team!! grabe!!
exaggerated ang hangups sa buhay lalo na ang pag iinarte.. ang lupit ng mood swings!!
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monbla

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #15 on: November 16, 2012, 11:32:58 PM »

As has been said by previous posters, regardless of sexual orientation and preference and identity, a b1tch is a b1tch. A crappy employee is a crappy employee. Yung previous boss ko ay babae. Tama na bang sabihin ko na lahat ng boss na baba ay vindictive, namemersonal at hindi marunong magmentor nang maayos? Hindi naman diba?

Tama ba ang mga bosses na sabihin na they prefer male employees dahil less productive ang working moms?

agape

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #16 on: November 18, 2012, 04:27:40 PM »
I think that Gays favor Gays, I mean they are biased towards gays. They prefer to hire and promote gays within the team/department they are handling. My uncle works in a call center and his boss is gay, one by one people get terminated, basta there is always a reason of course, and then they hire or get gay young people as replacements.
This also happened in another call center, nag-alisan nlng yung mga matitinong tao, tapos ayun, puro gays ang merong position.
I think magaling sila magpakitang-tao but be careful you can't be too sure, soon your job is in danger na pala.
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caramelli

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #17 on: March 13, 2013, 11:04:14 PM »
^I agree with you sis, meron talagang mga ganun. They have this certain attitude na ewan ko ba, pag nagkataong may position sila, gagamitin nila yun para magawa gusto nila.. well, I'm not saying na lahat ng gays ganun. But I've seen quite a few na rin and yun din ang napansin ko. Bilang lang sa daliri yung nakilala kong gays na masasabi kong "PROFESSIONAL".
Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else. - Mitch Albom

angelzero

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2013, 02:53:27 PM »
i worked in a company na 70% gay dominated. 20% straight girls then the remaining 10% yung staright guys and lesbians. as in yung top positions are filled up by gays, including CEO. although yung direct boss ko is not gay (she's a mom w/ 2 kids), i was being surrounded by them. they always make fun of the straight guys. palaging nilang pa-joke na nilalandi mga straight. although minsan hindi joke hehe. masaya naman, maingay, palaging may mga pakulo. pero nakikita ko na napaka competitive talaga nila. if they have to "steal" an idea from you and take credit, they will. they're very outgoing. talong talo ang mga girls in terms of being spontaneous and out-of-the-box kasi nga dominated nila yung organization. pero dun ko din na-realize it's hard for me to be close friends with gays. ewan ko kung bakit.
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miss resilient

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Re: Having a gay boss or Working with gays
« Reply #19 on: March 18, 2013, 05:41:39 PM »
I think that Gays favor Gays, I mean they are biased towards gays. They prefer to hire and promote gays within the team/department they are handling. My uncle works in a call center and his boss is gay, one by one people get terminated, basta there is always a reason of course, and then they hire or get gay young people as replacements.
This also happened in another call center, nag-alisan nlng yung mga matitinong tao, tapos ayun, puro gays ang merong position.
I think magaling sila magpakitang-tao but be careful you can't be too sure, soon your job is in danger na pala.

Parang di naman po..kasi ang current boss ko ngayon ay gay. at ayaw niyang mag hire ng gay or anyone from the LGBT. basta, ayaw daw niya ng working attitude ng kapwa niya gays. hahahah... :D nasa tao na rin lang siguro yan.

so far mabait naman boss namin, mapagbigay, maluwag, nakakapagyoutube, facebook and download kame ng di niya sinisita as long as nagagawa namin deliverables namin :-)

 

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