Author Topic: wala akong pera (Read 1652 times)

runaway_bride25 · « **on:** May 05, 2011, 01:20:11 pm »

hi girls. I just want to vent out this issue with my husband I've had for quite some time now.

I spend for almost everything.

There I said it. And lately i feel very very down because most of the time I feel very lonely because when i was single, i used to have lots of money for myself. And now i cannot even shop or go out. kasi most of the time wala na akong pera.

i got pregnant before we got married and started living in one house. But things we're pretty okay back then. I was continuously being given my weekly allowance from my father so i had money for everything. Hubby also used to share the expenses but I remember me always sharing the bigger share.

When my baby was about a year old, i decided i wanted to work, so i could buy things for myself. I spent a year already with me supporting me son. I thought it's about time I buy things for myself as well. My husband...well.. he was jobless and was receiving i have no idea how much salary from his family's business.

So we got a yaya, and i worked. My husband studied again during that time. as usual. I was the one who took care of our food, yaya's salary, baby's needs and all.

My dad decided to ask me to resign from the company i was working with at that time, because, he felt i was working too much, while my husband..well he was studying. My dad asked me to work for him. and so i did. I came home to my family. leaving my husband on his own. we saw each other every weekends or when we had the time. And still, no support from him. There were times I was given financial support from my husbands family. Sometimes.

My son is turning 4 now and is about to study in June. wala naman akong issues kung paano ko papaaralin sa baby. I got it covered.

It just sucks.. everytime i ask for support.. parang wala lang sa kanya, wala daw pera, minsan sinesecret niya pa sa akin na may pera siya. Eh hindi naman talaga ako mahingi na tao, kaya most of the time pinapabayaan ko nalang.

ngayon, magkahiwalay pa din kami ng bahay. nagrereview na siya ngayon. hindi ko alam kung ano ang plano nya after. wala padin siyang ginagastos for his family.

Pero lately nahihirapan na talaga ako. and narealize ko halos mag 5 years na palang ganito.

haaay... nakakainis. akala nilang lahat masarap ang buhay ko kasi mayaman napangasawa ko.

kaye27 · « **Reply #1 on:** May 05, 2011, 03:03:32 pm »

sis sorry ha? pero gusto ko lang malaman lalake ba talaga yang asawa mo? bat wala syang balls??

Sobra naman sya.. anak nyong dalawa yun at di lang sayo kaya dapat maging responsible din sya sa anak nya.. kung di pa nya sana kaya bumuhay ng pamilya sana di muna nya ikaw binuntis diba?

its best na pag usapan nyo sitwasyon nyo.. mag usap kayo heart to heart kung ano gusto nyo gawin sa family nyo.. baka naman kasi kaya ganyan sya its because nafefeel nya na dimo sya kailangan. let him know na kailangan nyo sya at sya lang ang masasandalan mo para maging maayos ang pamilya ninyo..

m_lim · « **Reply #2 on:** May 05, 2011, 04:10:48 pm »

i am curious.

you said akala nila masarap buhay mo kasi mayaman napangasawa mo, mayaman ba talaga siya na madamot lang or wala talagang pera?

honestly, kung ako ang nandiyan, i will not let my husband or anyboday drag me down.

sofabyou · « **Reply #3 on:** May 05, 2011, 04:22:26 pm »

sis bakit ok lang sa husband mo na ganong set-up - once a week or when you both have time lang kayo nagkikita? how about yung son niyo? hindi man lang ba siya nag-eeffort to see him?

alam mo sis, dapat mag-usap talaga kayo ng masinsinan and once and for all ay pag-usapan at isettle lahat ng issues before it's too late.

I'm praying for you and for your son. For sure God will guide you sa lahat ng gagawin mong desisyon. God Bless sis!

jesrora · « **Reply #4 on:** May 05, 2011, 07:01:18 pm »

hi sis, pareho pala tayo ng set-up ngayon. although my husband na parang di ko husband gives some support for baby,but most of the time eto yung natira nalang. pati time na spend nya samin eto yung excess time nalang nya. like once a week na 1 or 2 hours. di ko alam ano din gagawin e. pero sa financial matters like support talagang i put my foot down. kelangan meron kahit konti,pero yun nga ubos din salary ko kasi kung magkano lang gusto nya ibigay.

miss resilient · « **Reply #5 on:** May 06, 2011, 09:04:46 am »

hay naku mag usap kayo!

hindi kayo dapat naghihiwalay, dapat sa hirap at ginhawa magkasama kayo. ikaw nandyan sa family mo, siya on his own. para kayong di mag asawa. magtulungan kayo. ngayon after makausap mo siya at ganun pa rin, bigyan mo na ng ultimatum. sabihin mo mawawala ka sa kanya pag di pa siya nag provide for you and your kids.

aquacharly · « **Reply #6 on:** May 06, 2011, 10:42:15 am »

RUN AWAY BRIDE 25 -- lol, yes -- most think that if you marry into a rich family, gloria! lol
They do not see 1 of the underlying factors for the family being mayaman -- kakuriputan. hehe

Sure, they will spend for BASICS like education, hosue/condo/townhouse, cars.. .. You have no mortgage/rental concerns, you have no tuiton fee struggles... heck, wala ka din car loans. Your food is covered and house staff too provided.. MILs of such famlies send the food and groceries for the week for both the family and househelp pa nga.. but once the basics are covered so you have a good life -- bahala ka na, row your own boat na.

IF your husband is not contributing, it is all up to you.. the way they see it, that is part and parcel of marriage..that you help each other out when required. It is your time now to provide, coz your husband is studying.

Now, your husband is not worried, he does not have to address his responsibility of being a padre de familia coz what can he do? Nag aaral pa nga/review. Hwag mo ikasama ang pagtago nya ng pera nya.. I am quite sure it is not on a regular basis, naabutan or naregaluhan lang yan, or nagka windfall. Let him keep such for himself, coz for sure he has valid expenses na hindi nya na mahingi din sa yo. So palipasin mo na yong kanyang occasional pagtatago. He studies,right; hindi naman sya yung partying out.

When both of you are relaxed, you gotta put him in the mood to discuss how, when he has started his career, the BOTH of you will CO-MANAGE your finances. Puede mong sabihin, if you really intend to, that when he starts to earn na again -- you 2 will be able to put aside money for investment or a business. O eh di nasabi mo nang hindi nya puede sarilinin his pay.

Do not say ha! that you resent you are spending for it all now. Good wives at some point of the marriage eh sila ang may hawak and karga ng bola. IMO, it is a valuable opportunity for a woman. Walang cuentahan yan ha. It is your time now, kasi nga nag aaral pa. mapipiga mo ba yan for living expenses? Trust that he will come around to being the padre de familia again, once he gets his new career off the ground. In the meantime, tiaga ka pa muna... isipin mo na lang you are blessed to be able to find the ways and means to cover the basic requirements of your family.

RUNAWAY BRIDE... iba kasi ang issue mo, IMO, from a husband who is not working/jsut bumming around... kahit na ba anak sya ni Zobel.

runaway_bride25 · « **Reply #7 on:** May 10, 2011, 05:15:41 pm »

Thank you for all your replies.

Aquacharly, most of what you said is well..true. Like i said, he has a monthly salary. But most of it I don't even get a glimpse on. He's into his cars and I'm sure that's where his money goes. It just seems unfair, kasi ako, most of what i earn goes to my baby, yaya's salary and other expenses very little for myself. Siya, walang shineshare. whenever i try to talk to him about it, sasabihin lang antay lang daw ako... pag nakapasa na sa _____ magiging okay din ang lahat.

Hay naku, i dont know what to do. should i nag him about it, or mag antay na lang ako ng himala hehe...

maye2k · « **Reply #8 on:** May 10, 2011, 07:37:05 pm »

Sis runaway, come to think of it..is it worth the wait? I mean, what if you were not that fortunate to get a good job so ok lang sa kanya na yong parents mo ang sumusuporta sa inyo ng baby nya? what if di rin ganyan ka stable ang income ng parents mo, san kayo pupulitin ng anak mo?

I think your hubby is just depending the fact that you could provide your sons need without him and since your parents has something to provide you as well. The sense of responsibility is being taken out of the picture. Hence, you should do something about it before it worsen the situation.

Let me just ask you this sis, was there a time that he had big amount of money on his pocket yet he preferred to kept it from your knowledge? Basically, it goes with the personality of your hubby. I'm not concluding that he's being voracious ha..You might wish to consider how he acted/behaved before during the time you were still bf/gf. Anyway, I'd like to commend what sis aquacharly have suggested to you also, really you need to save na sis and never you should be informing your hubby about it baka lalong dumepende yon na ok lang di siya mag share.

aquacharly · « **Reply #9 on:** May 10, 2011, 11:03:53 pm »

Hindi na matagal ang wait - review na daw eh. What's another year to give a relationship when you still love him, naiinis ka lang because there isn't enough money now. Think it over - if you had just double your money now, kahit na ba sa yo nga funds eh -- would you still be gigil as you are now? Baka kaya mo pang be cool about his not giving anything now.

Didn't he say to wait.. And things will change once he gets his new career off the ground? You still have trust in what he says? If yes, you will wait.

In the meantime, work on your finances, palaguin mo. So that when the time comes, he still does not deliver -- then you can decide with no fears.