News & Features > Women's Reproductive Health & Rights
How do you cope when everyone is getting pregnant but you?
cUddLY:
Hi!
To those who have been trying to get pregnant, can you share your tips how you manage to cope with the pressure and the depression of being unsuccessful at it?
My hubby and I have been married and TTC for almost 3 years already and it's starting to get to me. It's all I ever think about! It gets really really frustrating when I here about somebody especially close to the family getting pregnant. I do manage to fake a smile, and make a half-hearted "congratulations, I'm happy for you" but can anybody blame me if deep inside I'm really not and I just feel all the more sorry for myself?
This year alone, 3 members of our family are already expecting, 2 of them even unplanned. First, my husband's cousin who have been also been trying for a couple of years already. Basically, they were our "kakampi". We used to be on the same boat, and wrong as it may be, it was comforting to actually feel that we are not alone in this.
Then, my brother's wife, who is only 22 but already have a 4&1/2 year old. She's expecting again this time. Good for her, unfortunately not for me.
The final straw for me came very recently when my hubby's (he's only 30 while I'm 29) brother , who's 6 years younger than him announced unexpectedly that he got his girlfriend pregnant. I couldn't help but break into a sob. It was just too damn frustrating and too damn ironic! No one was expecting him to give them their first apo. Not only was he the youngest but it's also way too early for them to be getting pregnant! They've only met 6 or 7 months ago for heaven's sake and their relationship is definitely shorter than that. Besides, everyone was counting on US to get pregnant first, being the married couple. Nobody ever imagined that they would get ahead of us, not this early at least.
I really really don't know what to do. I'm pretty sure I'll be getting a lot of "naunahan na kayo" remarks from his side of the family and I don't know if I can hold myself together this time, and keep myself from breaking down in front of everybody.
I need a friend badly, and a good friend for me right now is someone who, in one way or another, is in my same shoes, who knows how this feels like.
Mga sis, care to share your thoughts?
17arci:
Relax lang sis, your time to get preggy will come soon. :)
jhenrheign:
yes, I already have a 4 year old daughter and Im pregnant again now... But before I got pregnant again almost 2 years kami nag try na magkaron uli ng baby... sobrang nakakalungkot minsan na you want to get pregnant then malalaman mo preggy yung friend mo or relatives mo, nakaka disappoint minsan... pero what i do para di ako ma depress is nagpapray lang ako... ayoko din kasi ma pressure ako, pag stressed kasi may effect din minsan para di maka conceive... sabi ko kay God na sya na ang bahala kung bibigyan nya kami uli ng baby... minsan ayaw ko na din mag expect...
last year, may nakausap ko, mom sya ng barkada namin ni hubby, nag kwento sya sa akin na may nakausap daw sya na madre... preggy na sya nun, sinabi nya sa madre na ipagdasal sya na sana boy maging baby nya kasi puro girls ang baby nya, ang sabi sa kanya ng madre, wag mo ihiling na maging boy ang baby mo, kundi ang sabihin mo ay "Thank God for a baby boy". And then ayun baby boy nga ang naging baby nya...
simula nung nakwento sa akin yun, nag start na din ako magdasal, pero ang dinadasal ko non, "Thank God for a baby." kahit san ako magpunta kahit anung oras basta naisip ko yun sinasabi ko yun... after ilang weeks, nalaman namin ni hubby preggy na ko uli... thru TUVs nalaman namin kung kelan sya nabuo kasi irreg ako eh, kaya sa ultrasound lang nalaman kung ilang weeks na sya... i counted the days, and alam mo ba, sa mismong date na kinuwento sa akin yun at nag start ko dasalin yun, yun yung mismong date ng conception nya... sobra akong natuwa... miracles do happen... wag ka lang mawawalan ng hope and faith...
kaye27:
nainspire ako sa kwento mo sis.. Im newly married din and TTC.. ill pray nadin kay God for a baby.. and di nako magpastress sa pag iisip at pagpressure sa sarili ko to have a baby.. ;)
@TS, dont be sad baka di pa talaga time para magka baby ka though nakakalungkot nga.. kasi ako nga 3 months palang married naiinip na ikaw pa kaya.. :( always have a positive outlook.. malay mo baka next month meron na baby for you. ;)
jhenrheign:
Kaye27-thank you sis... :) I believe kasi sa power ng prayers, kahit di ka religious pero pag nagdasal ka at bukal sa loob mo ang pagdadasal ipagkakaloob yun sayo... pwedeng ngaun, bukas, sa susunod na buwan sa isang taon, di definite, pero basta di ka mawawalan ng hope and faith, God will provide if it is the perfect time... :)
