I was in this kind of arrangement before. Ang sabi sakin ng lola ko dati, everything in life is a decision. Pinaniniwalaan ko yun, minsan lang talaga may mga bagay na hindi nakadepende sa common sense or desisyon mo.
I understand how people keep saying it's not about what you feel, but where your commitment lies. So I guess when you're 30 or something and you realize there's another person who understands you better than the person you married you're supposed to ignore that because you have kids, commitments etc
I'd have done the same thing, I'd have done the more responsible thing. I'd have gone back to my marriage to fix it and forgotten all about my affair and dismissed it as some urge to "scratch where it itches" but when i wake up everyday i will not lie to myself and say this marriage/ relationship allows me to become the best i can be and i am happy in it. we owe ourselves a little bit of honesty. i mean just that, i don't care if i lie to everyone else.
i mean, i know for some people it's best to stay in their marriages but some people you know, the other way is better for them. but that's not an option here, walang divorce at hindi socially acceptable ang maghiwalay at sumama sa iba.
it took me years to get over this affair. it was degrading. you can't just call, you can't just text, you can't just go out. wala kang karapatang mag demand ng oras atensyon, etc. kasi naipangako na yun sa iba.
so pagkatapos ng lahat ng yun, i still have leftover feelings of inadequacy. minsan nakakagalit na this person you are married and have kids and stringing me along and when it doesn't work out, it's because i'm a bad person? sheesh.
but you know some people they really just have to blame their failed affairs on someone. yun lang. it was all very sad but i don't think i could have done it differently.
i think it's the worst kind of affair you can get into. i'm supposed to start seeing someone else now but i think because of that previous relationship i always think we have a snowball's chance in hell of getting it to work. eh single naman tong isa. hay.